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| Chronicles of my journey from closet to open CDing...
A short intro:
Been crossdressing since I was 5 and it has been a very lonely journey. As a young boy, going full drag in my mother's clothes was easy. I self-discovered musturbation and the joys my genitals can bring at 10 years of age.
I felt very guilty and ashamed of myself hence no one knew of my CDing. I would dress up in my mother's clothes whenever she was not around and wear her bras to bed.
Only in the recent years did my CDing activities became more active. It started with my purchase of my first lingerine during a trip to Thailand and that marks the start of many purchases of femenine goods. At that time my girlfriend of 7 years left me for another man and I was emotionally unstable.
Soon, my cupboards were filled with dresses and skirts and my drawers were filled with women's underwear, all bought in shops. Still, all activities were confined to my room.
I bought a pair of breastforms and they have pushed up my CDing by a notch. Soon I started to buy heels, wigs and makeup.
Now, I've accepted myself as what I am and no longer feel guilty to CD. But it'll take much time, courage and support for me to open up especially in Singapore's conservative culture.
My progress so far has been pretty steady. I'm now comfortable enough to go out and take public transport myself. Though I still feel a great inertia just before stepping out of the house, I can manage better now. My make up techniques are constantly being refined and i feel more comfortable to just "be myself".
I hope to find fellow CDing sisters to share experiences with and to support each other. You are not alone!
~ "People ask me why I crossdress. To me, crossdressing is like an art and me, an artist. And as an artist, my goal is to create a piece of beauty. While a painter has his canvass and a sculptor has his stone, for me, I'm both a sculptor and painter; My body the stone and my face, the canvass." |
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Dreams...
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Posted:Apr 28, 2007 10:51 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2007 11:12 am
2487 Views
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I had a little chat with my friend yeaterday. We were sharing our plans for the future as we are both going into the workforce very soon.
I've shared with him that I wanted to dress up and go out with him someday, but don't dare to do so... He suggested we can try going Thailand for a weekend trip where we can let loose our imhibitions and enjoy ourselves!
Frankly, I love the idea! I can imagine shopping at the weekend market for pretty clothes dressed as a lady. The shopkeepers greeting me, "Morning! Can I help you miss?" and actually buying shoes that FIT...
Ofcourse, it won't be fun without a friend with me! We calculated for a simple weekend trip, all we need is about S$500 incl. budget airfare and 3 star lodging. We can explore the nightlife together and savor the local dishes, snack on the roadside bbq squids and watch "tiger" shows in the red light district. ~Mmmmmmmm~
Then we chatted about our plans further in the future. I want to get an apartment of my own so that I can be myself whenever I want. He has the same plan as he can then live out his gay lifestyle freely. So we thought, why don't we share buying an apartment? For me, its also a form of investment and if I purchased one on my own, it'll take AGES before I can afford the downpayment... For him, he just wanted a place to stay and (sometimes) bring his dates home...
Anyone familar with the housing rules in Singapore regarding Co-ownership of properties? It may just be a fantasy for now but it'll nice to be able to make our dream come true.
~Sigh~ Tomi drifts off into a dreamy daze...
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I did it!
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Posted:Apr 26, 2007 10:16 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:07 pm
2065 Views
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~Whew!~
Finally got the courage to tell my friend about my CDing. It was a scary but liberating experience! Thank God that he took the news very well. He was even curious to see how I looked like
Now I'm no longer alone. Though things will feel different in the future, its a future I look forward to. The next step for me will be to go out as Tomi and face the world in my female form!
Hmmmm,I wonder how will things be like the next time we went out together...
~Tommy
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Exams...
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Posted:Apr 24, 2007 10:35 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:06 pm
2088 Views
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Had an exam today. Whew! My last paper will be 5 days later. Damned mathematics... All too glad to go home and dress up!
Tried some new make up color schemes today. Bronze eyeshadow and brown lip-gloss. After putting on the lip-gloss did I find out that it closely resembles my natural lip color... Also used the eye brow pencil for the first time. Didn't think it turn out nice. -.-
Oh, just bought a new long skirt! Gotta prepare myself the day that I would walk the streets
enfemme. Need a pretty bag too... Time to shop!
~Tomi
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My first boots!
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Posted:Apr 24, 2007 10:05 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:06 pm
2050 Views
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Bought my first pair of boots today! Pre-owned but still very pretty! The 4-inch heels still need some getting used to...
Ebay is a wonderful place for girls like me!
~Tomi
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Genital shots...
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Posted:Apr 23, 2007 9:46 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:05 pm
2046 Views
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I've been surfing around this website and realise that majority of the profile pics are genital shots. Not that I'm against it but the sheer NUMBER of such shots are a little overwhelming.
I mean, artistic shots of naked bodies are nice but surfing this site makes me feel like i'm looking through a online porno catalog, prob because there are more dicks than pussies...(i don't deny watching porn. I need release! Bottled up sexual desires are unhealthy!)
Maybe i'm still a little too innocent for this website, need some time to get used to it. I guess i'm the only one who is bothered.
~Tommy
Yes! I'm a virgin and its gonna stay that way! No one is gonna take it from me! "My precious..."
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Virgin post
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Posted:Apr 22, 2007 3:31 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 10:46 pm
2387 Views
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Day one of my journey. Not used to blogging but giving it a try. First, introductions are in order.
Been crossdressing since I was 5 and it has been a very lonely journey. As a young boy, going full drag in my mother's clothes was easy. I self-discovered musturbation and the joys my genitals can bring at 10 years of age.
I felt very guilty and ashamed of myself hence no one knew of my CDing. I would dress up in my mother's clothes whenever she was not around and wear her bras to bed.
Only in the recent 2-3 years did my CDing activities became more active. It started with my purchase of my first lingerine during a trip to Thailand and that marks the start of many purchases of femenine goods. At that time my girlfriend of 7 years left me for another man and I was emotionally unstable. 
Soon, my cupboards were filled with dresses and skirts and my drawers were filled with women's underwear, all bought in shops. Still, all activities were confined to my room.
I bought a pair of breastforms last year and they have pushed up my CDing by a notch. Soon I started to buy heels, wigs and recently, makeup.
Now, I've accepted myself as what I am and no longer feel guilty to CD. But it'll take much time, courage and support for me to open up especially in Singapore's conservative culture.
One of the first steps I want to take is to tell one of my close friends about my CDing... He is open and trusts me enough to tell me that he is gay. I feel that it will be fitting if he is the first person i'd tell. Hope that things will turn out well!
~oh, I've not given my female self a name yet. Any suggestions?
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To link to this blog (tommygun198212) use [blog tommygun198212] in your messages.
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