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| Chronicles of my journey from closet to open CDing...
A short intro:
Been crossdressing since I was 5 and it has been a very lonely journey. As a young boy, going full drag in my mother's clothes was easy. I self-discovered musturbation and the joys my genitals can bring at 10 years of age.
I felt very guilty and ashamed of myself hence no one knew of my CDing. I would dress up in my mother's clothes whenever she was not around and wear her bras to bed.
Only in the recent years did my CDing activities became more active. It started with my purchase of my first lingerine during a trip to Thailand and that marks the start of many purchases of femenine goods. At that time my girlfriend of 7 years left me for another man and I was emotionally unstable.
Soon, my cupboards were filled with dresses and skirts and my drawers were filled with women's underwear, all bought in shops. Still, all activities were confined to my room.
I bought a pair of breastforms and they have pushed up my CDing by a notch. Soon I started to buy heels, wigs and makeup.
Now, I've accepted myself as what I am and no longer feel guilty to CD. But it'll take much time, courage and support for me to open up especially in Singapore's conservative culture.
My progress so far has been pretty steady. I'm now comfortable enough to go out and take public transport myself. Though I still feel a great inertia just before stepping out of the house, I can manage better now. My make up techniques are constantly being refined and i feel more comfortable to just "be myself".
I hope to find fellow CDing sisters to share experiences with and to support each other. You are not alone!
~ "People ask me why I crossdress. To me, crossdressing is like an art and me, an artist. And as an artist, my goal is to create a piece of beauty. While a painter has his canvass and a sculptor has his stone, for me, I'm both a sculptor and painter; My body the stone and my face, the canvass." |
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First day at work!
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Posted:Jul 9, 2007 7:46 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2007 9:38 am
2665 Views
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I finally decided to join company M and start my career with them as a financial advisor. Today was my first day as a full time working adult! Had to report to work at 8am in the morning hence I need to wake up at 630am latest... Need some getting used to.
Things weren't exactly rosy. I forgot to iron a nice shirt the night before so had to make do with one that was shitty IMO. I ended up feeling pretty lousy the whole day. Shopping for some clothes at This Fasion lifted my sprits a bit as I FINALLY managed to get a pair of skinny jeans that fits and at a budget price of $10. Not exactly top fasion stuff but fairly presentable. Spent only $27 for a "full set" of a top, jeans, knitted cardi and a matching necklace to boot. I plan to wear them on the next KOK night with my Affairlook buddies!
My manager says I need to brush up on my image. Can't blame him, I felt pretty shitty myself. An appointment with the agency's image consultant is lined up for me. Hopefully she can educate me more on my male dress-sense which I'm seriously lacking...
Time to do the ironing... I'm very bad at it, the end result is usually worse than the beginning...
~Tomi
Not domesticated enough. 
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Kara-sore-kay
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Posted:Jun 29, 2007 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2007 11:40 pm
2970 Views
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How should I start? Today has many firsts for me. Most importantly, today is the first time I stepped out of the house as Tomi! I was going to a gathering with the Affairlook group I'm in for the first time. This is a "reward" to myself for passing my M5 and M9 papers! I'm going to be a financial advisor soon!
The most difficult part was walking pass my neighbour's unit cos' their door was open and there were people inside. I had to run past the door! Fortunately, I only need to pass one neighbour before reaching the lift.
I was very anxious when I stepped out of the lift and walked in public as Tomi for the first time! To my suprise (and relief), people around didn't seem to see anything "odd" about me prob other than the fact that I am pretty tall for an asian girl.
I even took the bus and mrt as Tomi for the first time! I did not dare to look at others initially for fear that I may catch their stares. Again, my fears were unfounded as the people around me went about thier business as usual. It helped that I was not alone as Joan was with me throughout the trip and her assurances calmed me down alot.
I met IN, AMB, Insane, stormer, HD, etc. for the first time at the karaoke and first time in my life, I played pool as a girl. The feeling was odd..., I couldn't do my usual posture properly due to my extra "load" and my wig. However, I still had alot of fun as we took turns "putting water" during the game and had many laughs!
The karaoke session was Insane. (Pun intended) Initially no one wanted to sing but after a few rounds everyone (including me) were singing like it was a punk rock concert. Now my throat is sore from all that "singing".
Now my biological clock is upside down again. Gotta regain my habit of waking at 0930 hrs again or else things will be bad once the school term starts.
Attached is a pic of me after our prata supper. Face looks oily right?
~Tomi
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I have decided...
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Posted:Jun 24, 2007 9:14 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:12 pm
2953 Views
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Thanks everyone for their input in the last post. My apologies for going MIA for these couple of weeks. Things have been pretty complicated and only now I have gathered my thoughts and can pen(type?) it down.
I've decided to study and work at the same time. I'm taking my financial advisor papers this coming week and have been studying for the past week.
The next step for me now is to decide which company to join.
Company A
Type: Tied Agengy
Assets: Highest
Basic: $1500 (6mths)
Quotas for basic: No tangeble quotas
Comission during training: Yes
Chemistry with manager: Very good
Advancement prospects: Medium (mature company)
Company P
Type: Tied Agengy
Assets: 2nd Highest
Basic: $2500 (1yr)
Quotas for basic: No tangeble quotas
Comission during training: Only if exceed $2500
Chemistry with manager: Unknown
Advancement prospects: Average/poor (Saturated company)
Company M
Type: Tied Agengy
Assets: 3rd
Basic: $3000* (1yr)
Quotas for basic: $600/mth worth of continuous premiums, 2 candidate referrals.
Comission during training: Yes
Chemistry with manager: Very good
Advancement prospects: Good (Up-and-coming company)
*$2000 basic + $1000 training allowance
Company X
Type: Independent Financial Advisory (IFA)
Assets: Lowest
Basic: None
Quotas for basic: No quotas
Comission during training: Yes
Chemistry with manager: Very good
Advancement prospects: Excellent (Expanding company)
Looks like some computer game data. I'm more inclined towards company A or M for tied agencies or company X if I decide to join a IFA firm. Some of you may guess which companies I am talking about but I'm not stating them to avoid any legal issues.
Oh well, wish me luck for my papers. The first one is on tuesday, module M5.
Despite my busy schedule, I still found time to crossdress. This is one of my latest pic. What do you think?
~Tomi
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the hard truth
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Posted:Jun 13, 2007 10:11 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:10 pm
2834 Views
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I managed to tell my dad about it. As expected, he wasn't too happy to hear the news. Now I have afew paths for me to take.
Considering the fact that I will have to go back the next semester to study:
1. At the same time, work as a finicial consultant. Just nice the training is about 6 months.
Pros:
Income
Smoother transition into working life
Cons:
No time for anything else
Possibility of schedule clashes in the future
2. Don't work. Take the 2 modules plus 5 economics modules and attempt to get an econs minor.
Pros:
No honors, at least can get minors...
Purely study environment
Cons:
No income
7 module workload with possibility of 4 project work
3. No work. Take 2 modules. Shake leg. Play computer games.
Pros:
Slack
Alot of free time. Can pay full attention to completing my 2 retake modules.
Can spend more time crossdressing.
Cons:
No income
Too slack. I don't idle very well. My brain may rot from lack of use
Though its a little odd to ask for career advice on an adult site, but I'm a bit curious what you guys think?
~Tomi
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Exam Results!!!
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Posted:Jun 7, 2007 10:00 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:09 pm
2781 Views
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It is now 0100 hrs on the 8th of June 2007. In approx. 8 hours my examination results will be released. I'm feeling so anxious now.... How will I fare? Will I be able to get my honors? Will I be able to pass my maths? I guess I'd better try to get some shut-eye... Got drums to beat in the evening...
~Tommy
Update:
I passed my maths, but failed 2 modules. Looks like my uni education needs to go into extra time.... Reality has yet to sink in. How should I bring this up to my parents. ~Sigh~
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Peanuts...
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Posted:May 31, 2007 9:53 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:08 pm
2813 Views
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I've just returned home from my part time job as a service crew in a cafe. Man... I'm tired. And all I'm paid is $5/hr. If my dad didn't cut me off I would not have to slog for my allowance while still looking for a job.
At least the cafe is run by my friend. Though I could get a higher pay elsewhere, I choose to work for him due to the flexibility of working hours. Where else can I call my boss and say I'd report and hour later due to an interview?
The job is pretty fun too; No dead routines or boring chores, just a greasy smell and feel at the end of the day from handling all the fried food.
Now all I want to do is to take a shower and slip into my silk nightie and go to bed. I've got an interview at 1030 and its 0100 now.
How long did you guys take before landing a job?
~Tommy
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First sighting!
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Posted:May 27, 2007 10:16 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2010 9:32 am
2940 Views
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My friend came by yesterday and for the first time, saw me enfemme. I was so nervous! Though we have known each other for 6 years, its was like I've met him for the first time... He came over my place after work and I planned to go out for lunch with him but I was still too shy to step out of the door.
The feeling was surreal; In my 20 years of crossdressing, that was the first time anybody saw me in full drag and makeup. My natural hair is also long enough to try not wearing a wig.
The first thing he told me when he entered was "You have too much blusher on!" It was then I realised that the amount of makeup I put on was suitable for pictures but too thick for going out. After doing some toning down, he helped me took this pic. What you guys think?
I feel glad that he told me I'd actually pass as a woman even at close-up provided if I can hide my muscular arms (with the cardi) and do up my toe-nails properly. 
Our next plan is to go out in the evening and visit one of the pubs in tanjong pagah (how do you spell it?) and mingle with people from the sexual minority. After I build up my confidance then will I attempt to go out in broad daylight.
Oh, I've got some interviews lined up tomorrow in NTU. Wish me all the best! I'd need a job if I want to afford all the pretty clothes I've been eyeing!
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Australia!
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Posted:May 23, 2007 6:15 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2007 10:21 am
2616 Views
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Sorry for the lack of activity for the past 2 weeks, I've just returned from a 11 day holiday to Australia. Had so much fun there! I went with 3 of my friends first to Melbourne for 7 days and then to Sydney for 4 days.
In Melbourne, we visited the Dandelongs, took a trip along the Great Ocean Road, visited a cattle farm and sampled wine in a winery.
It was a bit cold in Melbourne so I had to put on a few layers of clothing. The ladies there are well dressed and pretty. They had make-up on, some wore boob revealing tops with short skirts, leggings and high heeled boots. I really wanted to dress up as well but my friends do not know of
Tomi yet and they would get the shock of their lives.
The stay in Sydney was shorter. We managed to visit the blue mountains, a wildlife park where I had 'hands-on' experience with the local animals like the Kaola and kangaroo and even managed to get up close and touch my favourite bird, the Kookaburra! We went adventure caving and squeezed through tight holes and corners. (I know some folks out there squeeze through tight "holes" everyday as well but this is different. )
Adult entertainment is more prolific in Sydney then in Melbourne. Walking through Darlinhurst street from King Cross station was like walking through a minefield of stripclubs and adult novelties shop. My 2 female friends were very uncomfortable there so we did not explore more.
Now that I'm safely back in Singapore, its time for me to work on my resume and start getting a job. Then I will start planning on my crossdressing trip to Thailand!
~Tommy
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Short and sweet
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Posted:May 10, 2007 12:39 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2024 10:13 pm
2553 Views
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Whew! My presentation just ended. Now there will be no more school work to bother me. I'm just gonna take a nice cold shower and slip into my sheer pantyhose and ligerine. Played games and didn't get any sleep last night. Now if you would excuse me while I adore myself in the mirror before getting some shuteye.
~Tomi
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Presentation
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Posted:May 9, 2007 2:41 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2024 10:13 pm
2426 Views
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Its going to be my final year report presentation tomorrow. Its like a presentation on my honors thesis. Still yet to get my lazy ass to complete the powerpoint slides. Hopefully my professors won't ask questions that I do not expect. >.<
Wearing lingerine to sleep is just amazing! They are so comfortable especially my long silk nightgown. Makes me feel sexy in bed. At times I'd just put on my lycra cami and a comfortable pair of panties for those warmer nights.
Couple of days ago I shaved my legs for the first time. I used hair removal cream and when I first applied it, I didn't expect it to work well on my manly trusses of leg hair. 6 minutes later the results were amazing!
I went to try on my nylons, skirts, dresses and my nightgowns. They all felt so amazingly different! My legs can feel every carress and whisper my clothes make against my skin and that feels damn sexy.
For the ladies out there they may have shaved so many times that it has become a chore and you may begin to forget how great it makes you look and feel.
Gotta get started on my work or I'm screwed.
~Tomi
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Flu bug
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Posted:May 5, 2007 3:50 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:07 pm
2463 Views
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Argh, my head still hurts... Had a bad flu for the past 2 days. Knees weak arms are heavy... a cocktail of paracetamol, pseudophedrine, amoxycillin and benzydamine HCL is making me feel groggy. I don't know if I was dizzy from the fever or from the medication or both.
My fever just went away. It feels like I was just robbed of 2 days of my youth. grrrrr
Time for my medication...
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Battle of the bulge
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Posted:May 2, 2007 11:09 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 11:07 pm
2588 Views
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I can't help it... I'm blessed with a 6" dick and dispite attempts to 'supress' it when I'm enfemme, there are skirts which I just can't wear.
Pushing it face downwards and wearing a tight panty usually does ok but there is still a slight 'manliness' at the crouch and it hurts when I happen to get a hard on...
Just the other day, I bought a nice black long skirt. Slim cutting with stretchy material... too slim. Since I do not have a large tummy, my 'manliness' bulges out like I'm wearing speedos. 
I had to even things out by tucking it between my legs and hold it in place with an extra tight panty. The feeling of my balls getting squeezed gave me a hard on constantly and I was forced to settle myself in the toilet before proceeding... Only after that can it stay discreet for the rest of the day.
Its tough being a 'macho'man and a pretty woman at the same time. It'll even more troublesome if I had a dick the size of some studs around here...
~Tommy
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Graduation!
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Posted:Apr 30, 2007 1:20 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2007 11:12 am
2375 Views
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YES! Just complested my last examination paper today. Burnt midnight oil last night to cram for my maths and biomaterials papers today. Feeling very hungry and groggy from lack of sleep. Dunno weather to eat first or sleep first... Can I do both at the same time?
My damn neighbour in the apartment upstairs has a hobby of drilling holes in the walls. Its EXTREMELY noisy and I can't get any fuking sleep with all the racket on. Grrrrrr...
Oh well, might as well grap a snack while my neighbour fucks the wall with his drill....
~Tommy
I need my beauty sleep! The eye bags are filling up!
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To link to this blog (tommygun198212) use [blog tommygun198212] in your messages.
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