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| Chronicles of my journey from closet to open CDing...
A short intro:
Been crossdressing since I was 5 and it has been a very lonely journey. As a young boy, going full drag in my mother's clothes was easy. I self-discovered musturbation and the joys my genitals can bring at 10 years of age.
I felt very guilty and ashamed of myself hence no one knew of my CDing. I would dress up in my mother's clothes whenever she was not around and wear her bras to bed.
Only in the recent years did my CDing activities became more active. It started with my purchase of my first lingerine during a trip to Thailand and that marks the start of many purchases of femenine goods. At that time my girlfriend of 7 years left me for another man and I was emotionally unstable.
Soon, my cupboards were filled with dresses and skirts and my drawers were filled with women's underwear, all bought in shops. Still, all activities were confined to my room.
I bought a pair of breastforms and they have pushed up my CDing by a notch. Soon I started to buy heels, wigs and makeup.
Now, I've accepted myself as what I am and no longer feel guilty to CD. But it'll take much time, courage and support for me to open up especially in Singapore's conservative culture.
My progress so far has been pretty steady. I'm now comfortable enough to go out and take public transport myself. Though I still feel a great inertia just before stepping out of the house, I can manage better now. My make up techniques are constantly being refined and i feel more comfortable to just "be myself".
I hope to find fellow CDing sisters to share experiences with and to support each other. You are not alone!
~ "People ask me why I crossdress. To me, crossdressing is like an art and me, an artist. And as an artist, my goal is to create a piece of beauty. While a painter has his canvass and a sculptor has his stone, for me, I'm both a sculptor and painter; My body the stone and my face, the canvass." |
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HOW I WISH IT WAS REAL.... T.T
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Posted:Dec 9, 2008 9:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2010 1:25 pm
3981 Views
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THE HONK KONG LUCKY DRAW SCAMMERS ARE BACK!
This is my first-hand experience. (No, not my first hand job....)
I recieved a private no. call a few months back from a lady speaking very cheena chinese. As usual, she asked me for my name, occupation, etc.
A month or so later, she called me again, this time inviting me to some launch party in Marine parade. As i couldn't be bothered, I told them i won't be able to make it due to a private function. They gave me a lucky draw number AG 9826 (can buy 4d) anyway... Guess what...
On that evening of the supposed "function", i recieved a call from them. The background was noisy as if there *was* a function going on. They asked me if I was attending the event. I told them no and they asked if i could go down now as I had just *won* their 3rd prize in their lucky draw. At this point, my brain's anti-scam software flashed a red alert.
As i was stuck in the AYE in the middle of peak hour traffic, I told them i couldn't. Then they said something about holding the prize money for me and will contact me again.
A few days later, when i was in malaysia for my holidays, they called me again. They wanted to help me process the paperwork to transfer the prize money of USD$50,000 from their "holding account" in Hong Kong to my designated account.
They explained to me that I would need to pay back the company 15% of the prize money after recieving it for some reason... (I cannot remember). I do not need to pay a single cent yet until i recieve the prize money. (sounds fair) She kept pestering me for my account and personal information and really started to get on my nerves.
In the end, i gave her my account number whiched i use for online transactions (it has a wopping $3 inside).  I told her to call back again after i return to singapore on the 7th.
My scam sensors are still flashing red.
Funny, somehow they know monday was a public holiday. I got a call on tuesday(9th dec) saying that i have to call their bank in Hong Kong to finalize the transfer. They even knew the IDD 019 for Singtel and gave me the number to the "bank". She gave me a number to call back to her after I have arranged with the bank manager.
Here is the fun part.
The number started with a "3". when I asked which country this number is from, she claimed it was a singapore number. (Funny, I tot local numbers start with "6"). I didn't think of it much though.
I called the bank with my Hp instead as it has free IDD to HK. I got an automated reply which requires me to press one for chinese and etc., very much like what a bank's customer service hotline be. I dailed to speak with a manager (as instructed) and a lady (also very cheena sounding) replied. She said that she will arrange the funds transfer and the money should be in my account by this afternoon. Nothing else.
My scan radar suddenly went green. I thought, maybe this one is real, and started drooling on getting the new Sony Ericksson C905 handphone.
After a few mins, I got a call from the ("angry sounding") bank manager saying that the deposit insurance for the bank transfer has not been done.
Amber lights.
I called back to the company (the one that starts with 3) and guess what, it goes through! The same lady picked up the phone and apologised that she did not know anything about it. She even gave me a number to call and ask how it was done. Appearently, there were now 3 winners to the 3rd prize and one of them was also in a similar situation.) She explained that it is a requirement by law after 1997 to prevent money laundering from syndicates in Macau.
Wait, so how does putting a deposit help? Red lights.
It was a chinese number this time and I just played along, curious if there will be anyone to pick up the phone. I asked about how he did it, appearently, he got the money "smoothly" after paying the depositor insurance of 5% the amount to be transfered.
hmmmmmmmmm...
Feeling suspicious, I first called DBS customer service to inquire about this "depositor insurance" and as expected, no such thing exists. I then called IN and asked her if she had heared about this type of thing.
Well, in her own words,"Thats the oldest trick in the book!"
Google "Hong Kong lucky draw scam" and you'll see many blog posts about people being (and almost being) cheated of their "depositor insurance".
Needless to say, I told her that I don't have the money and call back 3 days later. After hanging up, the next number I dailed was 1800-255 0000.
~Tommy
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The perfect place to shop!
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Posted:Jan 12, 2008 10:27 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2009 8:35 pm
3602 Views
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These past year I have been more active in my shopping and as (was) a student, I had to sniff out the best deals for female and male clothing. I feel that its time for me to share my 'findings' with other sisters and fellow friends of my favourite shopping places!
Feel free to contribute yours too!
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Tomi swims for the first time!
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Posted:Jan 12, 2008 10:23 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2010 1:25 pm
4463 Views
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Another first for Tomi! Yesterday, IN invited us for a swim at the pool near her workplace. Its a private pool with nobody else using it, just the place I can try out swimming in CD! Thanks to all who provided the food and drinks!
Before I met them, I realised there was alot of prep work to do. Most important of all, I had to shave my nether regions and that was challenging... I also washed one of my straight-hair wigs to see what happens when it gets wet. Damn, its heavy. Thankfully it wasn't that bad actually in the pool but I cannot swim back-stroke as the drag of the water will pull the wig off. 
I had gotten myself a set of Triumph bathing suit which I bought from Takashimaya while in CD. Boy, was that fun. I also got myself a set of bikini from Song & Song and didn't know which one to wear so I wore the bathing suit under my regular clothes and brought along the bikini set.
It was really exciting to be in CD under my regular clothing. I wore a large Hip-Hop jacket and beanie which hid my wig and my assets. When I reach the pool, all I had to do was to put on waterproof makeup, which IN has so kindly gave me.  I'm glad that the makeup held on throughout the swim.
I tried on the bikini set (with a tube top) for them to see and compare which one is better. I'm glad that they say it was the bathing suit, cos that thing cost me $100 while the bikini set, $7.
We were all tired after the swim and decided to head home. Argh, more work. I had to rinse my wig and shampoo it like it was real hair, rinse my bathing suit with soap water to get rid of the chlorine and hang it on my room door to dry overnight...
It was a successful "experiment", but the amount of work involved after the swim makes me reluctant to try it again unless on a holiday.
~Tomi
No pics this time as I am still too shy to picture myself in a swimsuit.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Posted:Jan 1, 2008 12:39 am
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2008 9:28 am
3611 Views
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My first blog post for 2008! Time for me to reflect and take a look back at how far I've gone since I first stepped out.
Apr 22, 2007
My first post! Tomi first steps out into the world!
Special thanks to lefty2474, Ionlyshow, sizzlebehotsy10, GoddessOfTheDawn, Honeydewy and tonytony125 for being among the first to leave your comments and encouragements at a time when I needed them most.
Apr 25, 2007
First boots. (And still my only pair...)
My first attempts at Makeup. Looking back at some of my older pictures, I wonder 'wth was I thinking...'
Apr 27, 2007
Told my close friend that I am a crossdresser. I can still remember those tense moments... So far, he has been very supportive and I can freely chat with him about the problems I faced.
Apr 29, 2007
This is when I had the dream of going to Bangkok for a CDing holiday. Though it never realised, I'll be going HK instead with Sandie and company.
Apr 30, 2007
Had my last exam paper and thought i could graduate that July... sigh
Sometime here in Apr I joined SR as a member.
May 9, 2007
Shaved my legs for the first time. From then on, my legs would never be the same again....
May 13, 2007
Went to Australia for my graduation trip! What I didn't blog about then was that I actually bought some adult toys in Sydney. (Didn't had the courage to blog about it then. ) Sadly, I never have the chance to use it on anybody.
May 28, 2007
The first time another human saw me in CD. I must say... my makeup techniques improved alot after that...
Jun 8, 2007
The reality of studying for another semester sinks in. Not a good time of the year...
Jun 14, 2007
Asking for career advice from an online adult site. Thank you all for your advice though. It provided me a direction when all seems lost.
Jun 29, 2007
First SR KoK session! Also my first time in public as Tomi. Special thanks to Joan for keeping me company at those tense times on the MRT.
Jul 9, 2007
First day at work as a financial planner. Got my skinny jeans which i'm still wearing today.
Jul 18, 2007
Made a boo boo and answered the door enfemme.
Jul 23, 2007
In-camp training. Sigh... waste time.
Jul 28, 2007
My second KoK session with SR! Also my first time taking MRT in CD alone. My face was red throughout the journey...
Aug 11, 2007
First time meeting my SR buddies as Tommy. Had a great badminton game with many more to follow after.
Aug 24, 2007
SR chalet night! Boy, was it fun! Never CD so much in my life.
Aug 27, 2007
Another boo boo... Pray that my bro didn't see anything unusual...
Sep 6, 2007
Breast massager. E'nuf said... 
Sep 29, 2007
SR KoK part 3! By now I was comfortable enough to be myself in CD. Thanks Vinco for sending me home that night.
Oct 4, 2007
Realised that my manhood is under utilized. Still jerking off...
Nov 7, 2007
Bought my first pair of fake eye-lashes. I never regretted trying them! They form an essntial part of my CD now.
Nov 21, 2007
Clubbed for the first time in CD! Really had a great time that night! Thanks Laura for the company that night. I really want to do it again... who wants to go with me?
Dec 3, 2007
Here comes the Santarina costume...
Dec 30, 2007
Bought a car. >.<"
Dec 31, 2007
New Year's Eve! Had a great time last night at KoK! Though it was a smaller group this time, we still enjoyed ourselves tremendously! I went out to meet my friend who gave me tips on my CDing. We went to the cineleisure hanicap toilet to change and all the while when i was changing, the security guard kept annoying us by knocking on the door. They say that it was a staff toilet and not for public use. Wtf, if it was so, please hang a bloody sign on the door. Like that I will not use your fuking toilet. I was changing putting on my makeup half-way and you expect me to walk out and go B1??? Fuck you bitch! (No, i didn't say that. But really wanted to. )
My friend had to stand guard at the door and try to explain my predicament to them, saying that I was going for a performance later and had to change here. She (the guard) continued to make alot of noise so after completing my CD, I quickly steped out of the toilet even though one of my ear rings had problems going in.
She looked at me from top to bottom to top, at a loss of words. Seems like I've managed to shut her up.
I bid goodbye to my friend and made my way to 3Bars. After meeting up with IN, I changed into my Santarina costume. It is a sexy, one piece which I feel almost too embarressed to wear in public. Check out the picture. I really want to thank IN, aileen, JJ, Kancana, eeworks, vinco and all the others who contributed to the wonderful cake in celebration of my (belated) birthday! (Thanks to IN and Aileen for the woonderful gifts too!)
I had a wonderful countdown and looking forward to the coming year.
Cheers!
~Tomi
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I just got married.
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Posted:Dec 30, 2007 7:39 am
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2008 2:09 am
3499 Views
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In life, a man has to make the 3 biggest committments financially; Get married, buy car, buy house. (In no particular order) Buying a car is like getting married. You see one you like, you scrutinize her features, you give the body a good feel, you ride her and take her out for a spin and eventually, you sign on the dotted line promising to take her, to have and to hold, and pay 10 years instalments through your nose.
3 years later, you grow tired of the same thing everyday, decide to divorce(sell) her, losing a big chunk of money in the process and look for greener pastures or the latest european model.
Today, I just signed on the dotted line. My work has gotten busy enough for me to warrant a car. (The recent price hikes in taxi and bus/mrt fares also contributed to the decision) At $600/mth, its gonna be a huge chunk off my paycheck every month.... I guess I should cut down on the girly stuff for the time being.  But work comes first and this car should add to the amount of business I can get in the future. Then the girly stuff can come back.
Looking forward to her arrival this jan end. I pray that COE prices will drop in the next bidding! >.<"
~Tommy
Oh, if you are curious, the car is a 07' Toyota VIOS "G" Auto. Got it from Borneo Motors. The sales-girl is quite cute too.
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Festive Mood!
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Posted:Dec 3, 2007 3:06 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2007 10:11 pm
3463 Views
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My new wigs and Santarina costume are finally here! Been waiting for about a month now and i must say, they are really worth the wait! Check out the pics. I did not have make up on hence the mouth covering...
Sweet? I plan to wear them for the New Years Eve KOK. Then again, I'd like to wear them for more than just once...
~Tomi
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Another first!
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Posted:Nov 21, 2007 12:57 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2007 11:57 am
3511 Views
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Whew! Just reached home and had my shower. It was another first for Tomi today! Today was the first time I went clubbing in CD! I must say... clubbing (and dancing) as a woman is really hard work! All the hip thrusting movements actually gave me stitches... But I really enjoyed myself! Together with Laura and friends, we went to 1nitestand at clark quay.
As you know, wed are usually ladies' night for clubs. I was pleasently suprised that I was able to the enjoy ladies' night offer! It was the first time I entered a club without having to pay a single cent and have free drinks to top!
There was another first too! I've started clubbing as a guy since I turned 18 and never even once I was approached by any gals (and I paid exhorbitant cover charges!). However, this is my first time I club in CD and I was approached by a gal! ( jap some more... ) We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet again on another ladies' night in the future.
This is a pic of me wearing my red halter dress. (Also my first time wearing a halter in public) Pretty?
~Tomi
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Origins of Satay!
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Posted:Nov 18, 2007 1:47 am
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2007 10:58 am
3474 Views
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Recently I happened to catch a boring, mid-afternoon housewife TV programme. It told the story of how satay was originated.
Satay, guess what, originated in China! the word "Satay" is actually the hokkien pharse "Sa Te" meaning "three pieces". It is said that during the medivel times in China when soldiers go to war, the army had to ration the meat.
To do so, they would put 3 pieces of meat on a stick and give each soldier one stick. The best way to cook it? BBQ it over an open flame.
Prob our ancestors brought it over to malacca during the colonial times and merged with the local malay culture, evolving into the satay that we are so familar with today!
So, do you have any interesting facts to share about our local favs?
~Tommy
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Dreams...
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Posted:Nov 14, 2007 10:13 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2008 8:50 am
3336 Views
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Ever had a dream that seems so real? You wake up and feel that it has actually happened and you have to tell yourself that its just a dream...
Sometimes, it can be a nightmare that makes you wake up screaming. It can be a happy dream that makes you feel like a millon dollars for the whole day after you wake up. It can be such a tragic dream that you find yourself crying like a baby even though you cannot even remember half of it.
I had such a dream last night. Like I mentioned, I can't even remember half of it already, but I woke up feeling that I've have lost something very important. This feeling is so real, that I actually spent the morning trying to recall what was it... Ofcourse, life goes on in reality and I dressed for work.
What are you like in your dreams? I know that I can fly and have nightmares of things chasing me down an endless flight of stairs....
~Tomi
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Fake Lashes are FUN!!
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Posted:Nov 6, 2007 9:22 am
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2008 10:17 am
3518 Views
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Last week there was a SaSa fair at Jurong Point and I went to check it out our of curiousity. As usual, there were racks after racks of cosmectics of all kinds. Then, this rack of fake eye lashes caught my attention.
It was on special offer. $3.90 per pair. The more I looked, the more curious I got and ended up buying a pair to try since they were cheap and reusable.
I must say, they are difficult to put on.... But I've not regretted buying them! The effect was amazing! Check out the pic, I did not have any makeup on and yet the overall appearance is so much more femminine. What you guys think?
Went to get 2 more pairs today. Different pattern. Gota practice how to put them on...
~Tomi
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HORRORTHON!
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Posted:Oct 26, 2007 12:03 pm
Last Updated:Nov 5, 2007 9:34 pm
3079 Views
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My goodness..., I've just returned home from a series of 3 horror/triller movies aka "horrorthon" at Plaza Singapura. The shows were "Halloween", "Whisper" and "The Last Breath".
The first 2 were really just blood and gore (with some nudity) but the last one is typical korean horror...
I can't believe that I sat through all the 3 shows with my friend. Prob I'm motivated by the fact that the tix costs $36 per pax...
~Tommy
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To link to this blog (tommygun198212) use [blog tommygun198212] in your messages.
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