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| Chronicles of my journey from closet to open CDing...
A short intro:
Been crossdressing since I was 5 and it has been a very lonely journey. As a young boy, going full drag in my mother's clothes was easy. I self-discovered musturbation and the joys my genitals can bring at 10 years of age.
I felt very guilty and ashamed of myself hence no one knew of my CDing. I would dress up in my mother's clothes whenever she was not around and wear her bras to bed.
Only in the recent years did my CDing activities became more active. It started with my purchase of my first lingerine during a trip to Thailand and that marks the start of many purchases of femenine goods. At that time my girlfriend of 7 years left me for another man and I was emotionally unstable.
Soon, my cupboards were filled with dresses and skirts and my drawers were filled with women's underwear, all bought in shops. Still, all activities were confined to my room.
I bought a pair of breastforms and they have pushed up my CDing by a notch. Soon I started to buy heels, wigs and makeup.
Now, I've accepted myself as what I am and no longer feel guilty to CD. But it'll take much time, courage and support for me to open up especially in Singapore's conservative culture.
My progress so far has been pretty steady. I'm now comfortable enough to go out and take public transport myself. Though I still feel a great inertia just before stepping out of the house, I can manage better now. My make up techniques are constantly being refined and i feel more comfortable to just "be myself".
I hope to find fellow CDing sisters to share experiences with and to support each other. You are not alone!
~ "People ask me why I crossdress. To me, crossdressing is like an art and me, an artist. And as an artist, my goal is to create a piece of beauty. While a painter has his canvass and a sculptor has his stone, for me, I'm both a sculptor and painter; My body the stone and my face, the canvass." |
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Happy New Year!
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Posted:Dec 31, 2010 11:02 am
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2011 8:52 am
13413 Views
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Another year has passed, so much has happend in my life for this past year!
Feeling very sleepy now... gotta sleep. I think I'll continue my post in the morning! 
~Tommy
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I did it!
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Posted:Sep 16, 2010 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2011 10:37 am
4948 Views
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After 2 months with my gf, I finally got the courage to tell her about my CDing. The suprising thing is that she didn't seem... suprised. Looks like the 'mental preperation' I gave her helped.
Her reply is that she doesn't mind my CDing as in China, there are people who do so for a living (chinese opera) and still have proper families. However, she stopped short of supporting me at it (for now)and I don't expect her to do so either.
I told her to give me time to change my ways, and it will be very difficult because I have been doing it for so long. She said change if you can, but if it is giving me too much pressure, let her know... "No matter what, I'll always be by your side. I won't leave you," she said.
I feel really blessed, I think the right time and woman has arrived. I will give her the best of me as she has already accepts my worst.
~Tommy
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Girlfriend
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Posted:Aug 25, 2010 12:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2011 10:37 am
5296 Views
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A small update on my status...
Yes, I recently got attached.
She is a really sweet girl and she touched me deeply with her unconditional love. She has seen one of my Cding pictures and seemed more amused than repulsed by it... In time, I'll reveal more to her.
No, I haven't had sex with her, in case you are wondering... but we have gotten intimate. We'll be going on a holiday together this coming week, lets see how it goes!
~tommy
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Out again
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Posted:Jun 28, 2010 8:55 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2011 2:49 am
5181 Views
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I went to meet the folks from SGB for coffee a couple of days ago, enfemme... Seems like I'm the only CDer in girl mode. 
Still, it was an eventful evening with workers from AFA giving us a heads-up on upcoming events catered for CDers and the TS community! Time to plan my schedule in advance >
Heres a pic of my attire that night, my makeup was heavier than usual, cute? 
damn... I have manly arms....
~Tomi
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Wonder Girls!
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Posted:Jun 23, 2010 10:15 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2010 9:39 am
4547 Views
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Recently I've gotten interested in learning the "Nobody" dance moves from The Wondergirls! Managed to find a very helpful video on utube and just started taking "lessons"
The dance moves are so sexy! I think first I need to loosen up my stiff waist to do all that hip thrusting and bending...
~Tomi
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Revealing
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Posted:Jun 3, 2010 11:23 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2011 2:51 am
5099 Views
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Two days ago, I decided to reveal my CDing side to one of my Trans colleuges. I had been wanting to do so for awhile and finally made up my mind when I felt safe enough to trust her with my secret...
It was a weekday afternoon and I asked her out for lunch. I went dressed in my best spag top and skirt and spent an hour on my makeup.
When she saw me, she was stunned for a good 5s before realizing it was really me! lol, Her expression was a mixture of shock and excitement. We spent an hour talking about it over lunch; Its was really thrilling! I hardly dress up and roam Orchard area in mid-day.
I am now officially in the company's 'sisterhood' of Tg people.
One thing she told me really made me think:
"You have to stop this. Either you go all the way and become a woman or stop CDing cos this will ruin your social life."
I've been thinking about her words and wonder if I can do it. Maybe with the right woman and the right time, I just might...
~Tommy
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"The ultimate woman, is a man." - Dr House
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Posted:May 24, 2010 9:14 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2010 10:13 am
4080 Views
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"The ultimate woman, is a man." ~ Dr House
In an episode of Dr House, he made that comment when one of their patients is diagnosed with CAIS(Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome) where the person's cells are 'immune' to testosterone due to a genetic defect. This leads to a completely female appearance despite having XY chromosomes.
This quote came to my mind when I was reading today's Newpaper. There is an article on this crossdressing boy taking part in a singing competetion called "Super Boys". The judges and viewers were stunned at her(I will use 'her' from now on to show respect for the subject) sweet voice and beauty. The guest judge kept interrupting her performance and kept doubting her gender to the extent of undermining the organizers' integrety.
To be so beautiful, I believe that she must have at least PAIS (partial) to be sexed as a boy at birth and have a male ID. She does identify herself as 'female' but she doesn't have any intention to go for sex change surgery.
I don't think she needs any....
If you are curious to look for her audition video, her name is Liu Zhu. It is all in mandarin though.
I would be lying if I said I'm not jealous (and attracted to) of her beauty...
~Tomi
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Pink Dot!
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Posted:May 15, 2010 10:19 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 7:11 am
3181 Views
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Today (150510) was the annual "Pink Dot" gathering at Hong Lim Park aka Speaker's Corner. More than 3000 people came dressed in pink to show their support for the rights of LGBT to love.
I bought a nice pink straw hat just for the occasion! Gosh... it was really HOT and I decided not to join in the formation in case I get heat exhaustion... I've never seen so many pet owners with their dogs at a non dog-themed event.... And many sasuage dogs too...
I also met up for the first time some of the folks from SgB. Only a handful eventually attended the event and sadly, there was no program planned for after the Pink Dot event... everyone just went their seperate ways. I did managed to have dinner with a couple of gurls nearby.
I can say I still have more fun with the folks from Frenz!
~Tomi
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One big round...
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Posted:May 1, 2010 10:28 pm
Last Updated:Jun 1, 2010 10:35 am
3089 Views
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I accidently keyed in Affairlook.sg and a different page was loaded so I thought... might as well create a profile there!
After going through all the registration (and watching a rather pretty model strip) I realized...
Its the same Affairlook. LOLz!
So yes, if mikolai appears on your "new members" and has my photo, its me.
*Edit* I deleted that profile cos I didn't want a clone.
~tommy
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Fem Suit???
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Posted:Apr 28, 2010 9:50 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2010 10:20 pm
3273 Views
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You have heard of "Handsome suit", how about one that turns you into a sexy woman---> The Fem Suit!
Saw this online http://Affairlook.com
Click on the "instructional video" and you can see how it is put on, taken off and maintained.
At SGD$2k+ a pop, I really question its... erm... effectiveness.
hmmmmmm
~Tomi
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First post in 2010 after... more than a year? :p
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Posted:Apr 19, 2010 1:35 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 7:11 am
3169 Views
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It has been sooo long since my last post... and even my last log-in into Affairlook. My new job is taking up 90% of my time and the remaining 10% is for me to recharge....
Still, I managed to find some time to CD as the urge was too strong. This is one of my latest photos, nice?
I've also recently stumbled on a sg site catered for CDers! Hopefully the people there are as friendly as the friends I have made here in Frenz!
Alright... my caffineis wearing off... time to sleep!
~Tomi
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My first... erm...
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Posted:Jan 24, 2009 10:31 pm
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2011 9:44 am
3744 Views
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My first "topless" picture. Comments pls... >.<"
Is this or the profile pic nicer?
~Tomi
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CNY mood is in the air!
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Posted:Jan 24, 2009 10:28 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2009 10:47 am
3172 Views
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Its the eve of Chinese New Year again! Tough it will be a rough year ahead, its time to focus on the good stuff rather than the bad.
Couple of nights ago I attended the DnD of a friend. The theme was "Shanghi Nights" and as you may guess, I attended it in my best "Qipao". Its is a long, lilac, traditional chinese dress usually associated with CNY and yes, the 1920's Shanghi. The following is a small write-up about the Qipao from wiki:
The cheongsam is a body-hugging (modified in Shanghai) one-piece Chinese dress for women. It is known in Chinese as the qípáo (旗袍 ), qípáor (旗袍儿 ), Wade-Giles ch'i-p'ao, and is also known in English as a mandarin gown. The stylish and often tight-fitting cheongsam or qipao (chipao) that is most often associated with today was created in the 1920s in Shanghai and was made fashionable by socialites and upperclass women.[1]
Unfortunately for me, my dress was not as body-hugging as I would have like it to be but still, I enjoyed myself very much that night! It was great to see so many women in Cheongsams of various designs and colors (I'm still straight, remember?). However, most of the men were unimaginative and only a handfull came dressed in theme.
I've attached a photo of my dressing that night. Nice?
~Tomi
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To link to this blog (tommygun198212) use [blog tommygun198212] in your messages.
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