Quit yer bitichin'...
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Posted:Sep 11, 2009 5:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2009 4:13 am
2977 Views
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Affairlook has amazing entertainment value, as I have said time and again, although it can be annoying as hell too. The stick up my ass at the moment is people who come into the chat rooms or send emails with the introduction of "I'm bored".
That is all good and well, but seriously, why do you think that is going to get you laid or even get you a conversation? People tend to gravitate to people who make them feel good about themselves, not ones they have to entertain. In that same vein, bashing your ex does'nt really make me want to rip my panties off either. I know we all need to vent frustrations sometimes, but perhaps not while on a beaver hunt, fellas.
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Love bites (and slaps, scratches, gouges, pinches...)
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Posted:Aug 30, 2009 4:48 pm
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2009 4:58 am
3240 Views
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I was in totally engrossed over yet another porn flick (in my never-ending quest for one with some semblance of a plot) and was floored by the sheer amount of ass-slapping, nail dragging, out-right smacking around that was going on.
It got me thinking though - seriously, how into that sort of thing are you guys? I get that a really intense session with a bit of hair-pulling every now and then is definitely a good thing, but really - are we talking like an all the time thing here? And just how much is too much? Chat rooms here have guys asking to be strung up from the ceiling, put in a diaper and publically flogged - that still strikes me as a little over the top.
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Help!! I am a Fantasy Football virgin....
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Posted:Aug 23, 2009 5:01 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2009 2:13 pm
2638 Views
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I have decided to participate in the office fantasy football pool this year. The only problem is, I don't really know the first thing about football - oh, I tailgate with the best of them (I went to Ole Miss, where tailgating is practically a sport of its own, complete with championship binge drinking), but my shameful little secret is that I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ!, I mean I DON'T KNOW THE DAMN GAME! - I just stood up and cheered when everyone else did.
So let me lay out the whole scenario for you... 12 teams made up of 9 guys, 2 other women, both with husbands as "co-managers", and poor little old me. As a nod to my newbi-ness, I have the first pick, after which we work our way down a randomly generated order, then "turn the corner" and work our way back up, meaning that I don't get to pick again until number 24, then I get pick number 25.
I have been told, hands down, that the first pick should be Adrian Peterson (I played poker with the guy once, due to my really hot semi-professional poker playing friend being a regular where he plays - he is a nice guy when he is winning and your hot blond friend is flirting with him). Beyond that, though, I am lost - what do I do next? I thought maybe pick a quarterback, but some say I should get a wide reciever. Who should these people be? What kind of strategy do you use to decide which position to pick when? Why do I have to pick a whole team at some point off of this list too? What the hell is a tight end? (Other than the obvious part of the football game that I actually like to watch...) Oh crap! Should I just admit defeat now?
I know this is not at all a football site, but I am hoping one or two of you out there will take enough pity on me to help make up for my pathetic lack of knowledge, after all, who knows what a victory dance might include if I actually win a match(don't people strip in those things, or at least grind on the floor a little?). The next post will be sexier, I promise...Please help...
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Important Life Lesson Learned Today
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Posted:Aug 19, 2009 7:01 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2009 4:33 am
2582 Views
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My Life Lesson for the Day: Don't go into the office with a sunburn after two days of "working from home". You are miserable from the burn and everyone gives you all kinds of crap for it - no matter how much you swear that you had your computer with you the entire time you were on the deck, you cannot win this one.
Follow up life lesson: Keep plenty of sunscreen on hand for those days when you decide to work from home...
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The Anti-Flirt Button
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Posted:Aug 16, 2009 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2009 8:43 am
2933 Views
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I would like to introduce my first guest blogger - this post comes from an adorable new Affairlook member and blogger, restednready74, feel free to go check out his other posts and give him a shout out…
The flirt button here can be one of the most entertaining aspects of being on Affairlook. Let’s face it, we all love to get a flirt. The flirt can be a subtle way to admire another person or let them know that you are interested in getting to know them better. But what if you had the option to send other types of messages, specifically, an anti-flirt?
Like every other web forum I have ever seen, there are people here who troll or are disrespectful ‒ you all know who I am talking about. Wouldn't it be nice to hit a button that just sends them a stronger message than simply ignoring them - just kinda a last word / parting shot.
1) Random Phone number / Email address Generator
It has worked for so many people in bars for so long, why not just click a button and send them a fake phone number or email address. It can be along the lines of 555-BABE or something like bustylarue.com.
2) Fake emergency in chat
As opposed to your girlfriend calling you in the middle of a date with a “get out of a bad date free” card so you can bail if things aren’t going well, here, a chat-bot can claim to be your lesbian lover who will castrate any man who would date try to come between you. And a hot cyber lesbian tongue kiss can’t hurt your chance with any potentially decent guys in the room.
3) Thrown drink in your face
Again, another bar reference, not terribly subtle, but it gets the point across.
4) Kick in the Balls
It worked on America's Funniest Home Vidoes for more than a decade, ‘nuff said.
5) Sprayed with mace
"Hey baby, would you like this monster tool in your... Ouch! my eyes! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"
6) Tazer to the Genitals
Ok, I winced a little at that one. But it does send a clear message.
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I have hit the wall
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Posted:Aug 15, 2009 8:43 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2009 4:56 pm
2635 Views
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Just fuck - I am totally out of ideas for topics to blog about these days (I know I have been scrapping the bottom of the barrel for a few posts here, so apologies, guys). This is what happens when I don't have any sort of access to consistent sex for months and months (and months) on end...oh well.
So, I have come up with a solution, at least temporarily: I will have other people write the blog for me. This outsourcing thing has some merit, I think - I will have the periodic guest bloggers, but then if things really get desparate, I will make use of the handy dandy convenient Affairlook profile/blog writer (if they don't have one now, I am sure it will be an "extra feature" you can pay for shortly, like letting standard members contact you - could there possibly be a more useless add on? Guys - just a tip, we chicks can contact whoever we want regardless of whether you paid for that service or not).
Ok, now that I have burst some little dream bubbles, I am off to scour the blog-o-sphere for some appropriate posts to plagerize. More to come soon....
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Orgasm in a Bottle
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Posted:Aug 12, 2009 5:43 pm
Last Updated:Sep 13, 2009 7:41 pm
2845 Views
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There is a product for everything - case in point today: Shunga, the sexual energy drink, conveniently formulated for both him and her. And here is kicker - IT SELLS FOR $15 A SHOT!!!
We aren't talking liquid gold here, the ingredients are fairly pedestrian: Guarana, Damiana, and a crap load (that is the scientific term) of caffeine.
Part of me is admires the absolute ballsiness of the makers of this stuff to sell $0.50 worth of ingredients for $15, part of me is insanely jealous that I didn't think of it first and the rest of me is horrified that people actually buy this stuff. On the other hand, I'll bet those Extendz people are damn near printing money too.
It makes you wonder just how pitiful our society has gotten when we can't even have good sex without some form of chemical help - personally, this is where I prefer to go organic. Just keep in mind, practice makes perfect...
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Sex Trophies
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Posted:Aug 3, 2009 5:14 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2009 4:14 am
2878 Views
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I was cleaning out some boxes this evening and found an old wine cork from a date that I had years ago. It brought back some happy memories of a kind of naughty/kind of nice guy who was really fun. The night of the that particular wine cork featured some particularly hot sex (he could do amazing things with his tongue) and I admit, I wanted a little piece of proof of the evening.
Thinking about this whole thing, I realized that I tend to keep little momentos from a number of relationships and flings - just a ticket stub, a matchbook or a bottle cap. The more I thought about it though, I have to wonder - does this make me some kind of psycho? Seriously, I think this might be something serial killers do, but on the other hand, I have heard of any number of guys who keep a girl's panties or something after a good night (although I think I am a bit miffed that my panties have never been snatched), so really, is this quirk really so odd? Am I the only person with this weird fetish? Somebody tell me a story about a trophy they have kept.
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Officially Middle Age - Happy F***ing Birthday to me
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Posted:Jul 21, 2009 5:05 am
Last Updated:Sep 13, 2009 8:14 pm
2914 Views
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My birthday was this weekend and I officially hit middle age, as defined by demographers. Basically, I went from checking the 18 - 34 age range box on forms, to now having to check 35 - 54. I admit, I took it pretty hard at first - how could I possibly be no longer hip, young and cool (especially with such a hip, young and cool psuedonym as "sciencegirl", right  - stop laughing, some geek out there finds it charming, I'm sure).
30 did not bother me at all - I still got carded pretty much all the time, and certainly did not act like I was 30. Still, 35 was tougher to swallow. However, now that I think about it, I am kind of enjoying the age thing - I still have all my favorite vices AND I have the money to indulge in them on occasion (something you never really have in your 20's). I will admit, I don't bounce back after a night of hard core clubbing like I did then, but a hangover from Dom Perignon is much better than a hangover from Southern Comfort. Regardless, middle age, look out - I intend to make you my bitch!
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Testify! Can I get an AMEN, brother?!?!
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Posted:Jul 12, 2009 10:42 am
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2009 4:28 pm
4103 Views
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I think I finally figured out why guys get so annoyed with "bots" on this site. Opening my account after a bit of a hiatus this morning, I found 4 - count them, 4!! - testimonials from very plasic-y looking women, whom I have never seen, chatted with, etc. telling me what I fantastic lover I must be based on my photos. Oh, and would I please come chat with them on whatever messanger service or website. My favorite was the one telling me how "satisfying my big cock" must be, especially interesting since I don't have one (either that, or she has reeeaallly low standards, or maybe I should be worried that my photos are really bad....)
You guys must get totally fed up with this. No wonder no one thinks that there are no real women on here - we get crowded out by the barbie dolls. So anyhow, I just wanted to say - guys, I feel your pain, keep your chin up, there are some fabulous chicks on this site, I have met a few (which apparently puts me ahead of 90% of the men here )
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Words for Women to Live By....
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Posted:Jul 10, 2009 5:26 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2009 6:55 am
2373 Views
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1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
5. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
6. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
7. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
8. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself..
9. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
10. When life gives you lemons - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
11. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
12. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
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Boobs - what do you guys really think?
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Posted:Jul 5, 2009 7:07 pm
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2009 5:00 am
3017 Views
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Alright - I understand guys are generally fascinated by female breasts. 15 minutes on this site will clear up any question you have on that count, if you don't believe me. It is all good and well - what can I say, they are kind of fun to play with, if I do say so myself, but as with all toys - there are your basic run-of-the-mill boobs and then there are the deluxe models. Where do you guys fall in this debate?
Big or small, large nipples or little ones, real or fake, you get the idea...
I have heard numerous guys say that the bigger they are, the better, but most large boobs come on women who have large everything else too (I am a case in point there - tush, hips, etc) - so do guys really only stop at the big boobs? Others advocate for the "just a mouthful" size - which I can definitely see would be fun, but you just don't get that same jiggle.
So, what constitutes the ideal female breast? and no, "the one I get to play with" is not a legitimate answer. None of that "i like the all" crap either - this is a serious question. I can't wait to hear what people have to say on this subject...
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Butt Cleavage
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Posted:Jul 1, 2009 4:14 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2009 5:06 am
2338 Views
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After wandering the local mall for a while this weekend, I simply had to write a post about the continued phenomenon of butt cleavage. It all started with the emergence of low-rise jeans and booty-licious celebs like Beyonce and JLo showing off a little junk in the trunk, but now I wonder if it hasn't all gone a bit too far.
Granted, theory has it that one of the main reasons women evolutionarily developed permanent swollen mammary glands is that once we started walking up-right, we poor girls had to have some way of drawing a man's attention. Without being able to focus on our rear ends all the time (without risking walking into things or developing a permanent hump in your backs), men began to focus on the cleavage a little further north of the equator, if you know what I mean. When you think about it, the cleavage in both places is remarkably similar - case in point, the picture with this post - it is indeed butt cleavage, but you really have to check it out to tell.
Apparently, we are no simply doing away with all coyness and bringing sexy to the back - just check out my ass in those low rise jeans and don't even bother with the front anymore. I wonder how long it will be before we just start sniffing each other? Gotta love de-evolution!
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To link to this blog (sciencegirl_31) use [blog sciencegirl_31] in your messages.
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