Safe Sex?????
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Posted:Aug 15, 2008 11:16 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2009 4:16 pm
5751 Views
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A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 ...
'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL YOURS???'
'Yep they are all mine,' the flustered Momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She turns to the and says, 'Sit down Leroy.' All the rush to find seats.
'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. First, I'll need all your 's names.'
'This one's my oldest -- he is Leroy.' the woman explains.
'OK, and who's next?' asks the caseworker.
'Well, this one; he is Leroy too.' the woman again explains.
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!
'All right...,' says the caseworker, 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?'
Their Momma replied, 'Well, yes -- it makes it easier. When it's time to get them out of bed a nd ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' an they all get up. An' when it's time for dinner, I juss yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes arunnin.' An 'if I need to stop the who's runnin' into the street, I juss yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy.'
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE to come, and not the whole bunch?'
'Then I call them by their last names.'
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Opps...she did it again!!!!!
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Posted:Jun 23, 2008 5:35 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2009 4:17 pm
5291 Views
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Ladies, this is a must read. Trust me.
Oh my Goodness, there are treasures in this world. "The Washcloth"
Ladies this has to be read and laughed at. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this!
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have anytime to spare.
As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in
that area to make sure I was at least sensible. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced
to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra
effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal ... some shopping, cleaning, cooking.
After school when my 6 year old was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles
saved inside it."
Never going back to that doctor. Ever.
 
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Justice Lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted:May 29, 2008 9:06 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2008 9:13 pm
5235 Views
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Great Answer from a Florida Sheriff
Florida's got it right. Bravo for Sheriff Judd!!!
It was reported that some dirtbag whom got pulled over in a routine traffic stop in Florida ended up "executing" the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Shortly there after another deputy was shot and wounded and a police killed. A statewide manhunt ensued. The low-life was later found hiding in a wooded area with his gun.
SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times.
Now here's the kicker:
Naturally, the media asked why they shot him 68 times. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd, told the Orlando Sentinel, "That's all the bullets we had."
The moral of the story:
Had this guy been a gold member of Affairlook, he may have shot a load and not lead.
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Here is a joke for this month
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Posted:Apr 27, 2008 3:15 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 5:15 am
5235 Views
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The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached
almost all the time.
The midget went to the doctor and told him about
his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants
and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants.
The doctor stood him up onto the examining table,
and started to examine him.
The doctor put one finger under his left testicle
and told the midget to turn his head and cough,
the usual method to check for a hernia.
"Hmm..." mumbled the doctor,
and as he put his finger under the right testicle,
he asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side...
then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look,
but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the midget to walk around
the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around
and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it.
What did you do?"
The doctor replied
"I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots...
Just remember that a smile can light the darkest room.
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Summer Time!!!!!!!
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Posted:Mar 28, 2008 7:40 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2009 4:18 pm
5250 Views
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Thanks the gods......summer is finally arrived. Got the bikes out, getting the car replaced with a truck, and even getting the old truck fixed. Things couldnt get better. Unless there is a couple that would like to go for a ride. Him with her, and her with me......so much fun could be had. Cant wait for summer to get into full swing and see what kind of trouble can be had with all of the new friends we have met over winter.
Any how, got lots of things to see and people to do. Drop us a shout if you would like to have a summer ride with us.
Hugs and Kisses!!!!!!!
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Party Time People
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Posted:Feb 12, 2008 6:24 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 5:15 am
5232 Views
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Finally....a group of people that know how to have some crazy adult fun in Alaska. What a total mind fuck of absolute bliss and enjoyment. And to think that I thought after over 30 years in this state, that I had done it all. Oops, guess not!!!!! Thank the gods for that one though. I'm not sure that the better half and myself could ask for much more than this. Unless we throw our own little skintastic gathering. This is where I am looking for ideas. Make a comment and tell me what kind of things you all would like to see at a swingers party. And don't hold back, I want it all.
Until next time.
Hugs and Kisses.
P.S. Remember that life is to short to waste. Get out and enjoy every nuance that this world throws your way.
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Dry Roads & Sunny Days
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Posted:Jan 31, 2008 11:18 am
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2008 5:49 am
5234 Views
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Okay...I've got cabin fever. I want to ride!!!!!!!!!!! It has been a lot of fun finally meeting everyone that we have. And we are looking forward to seeing more of everyone (with and without clothes on  ). But after not being on the bikes for four months now is putting an itch in the nerves  . Four down and two to go. Enough of that....lets get onto other things (or people) for that matter. The other half and I have been together for some time now, and have done quite a few things together  . But, nothing beats all of the great people that we have met on Affairlook. I would like to say thanks  to all of you out there. You all help to break up the sour moods that is spreading through every day life in the jungle of society.
Till next time,
Hugs and Kisses to all.
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Till next year.....
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Posted:Dec 30, 2007 3:36 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 5:15 am
5230 Views
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At long last...the holidays are about done for another 12 months. There is just way to much to do and no time to do it in. But enough of that...this is Affairlook. Lets hear about all of the great new toys that everyone got to use the night after Christmas. Give me your hottest, kinkiest, juiciest story or tell me of the wildest fantasy that finally got fulfilled. My ears are open for anything and everything.
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Happy Holidays.....YEA, RIGHT!!!!!!!!
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Posted:Nov 29, 2007 5:00 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2008 5:49 am
5341 Views
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Time to rant and rave again. What the hell is up with todays society? After working in a department store for six years and having to deal with so many stuck up, snooty, self righteous, pain in the ass, no patience, pricks and bitches, I have come to the conclusion that the Holidays are not all that happy. In fact, it seems that this time of the year bring out the worst in a lot of people.
Thank the gods that there are groups of people like what is found here on Affairlook. If only more people would spread the easy going, care free, no regret attitude that is found by lots of the individuals and couples on this site.
For those of you that do not have your nose stuck in the air and the silver spoon ;!; shoved up your ass...THANK YOU!!!!!!. It is you people that make life more enjoyable and this planet closer to the Eden that it is supposed to be.
Whhhoooooo.... That was deep. Me and the other half are always looking for easy going people to meet, get to be friends with, and maybe get extra fun sack time with. Shoot us a wink and/or drop an email, we may not get back right away, but we do respond as soon as possible ( can eat up lots of time as most of you know).
Loves>>!, Hugs , & Kisses{=}
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Witches & Vampyers
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Posted:Oct 28, 2007 4:33 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 5:15 am
5294 Views
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So...it's that time of the year when all of the naughty people get to dress up in sexy little costumes and prance around asking for a trick or treat. I say either way, whether it be a trick or a treat, there will always be some happy faces and satisfied rods and boxes  . The better half and I just got back from a Halloween party and had a great time meeting some new friends. What I can't understand is why more people cant just let their guard down like those that were at this party . Well hell, I'm not going to rant and rave this time. It was to much fun watching some of the things that happened. I will let all of your dirty minds wonder. Here is some food for thought though...what do you get when you mix lots of couples with open minds and an unsatisfiable drive for sex...think about that. Till next time, keep all your dicks hard and pussies wet, I'll be watching for ya!!!!!
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People and their ideals
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Posted:Sep 29, 2007 9:24 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 5:15 am
5374 Views
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Well here is our first post........
We are trying to figure out why there are people that say they are open minded and yet they have closed thoughts about who they want to meet or be with. Why is that? I mean come on!!!!!! You might as well be on a street corner in front of the fur shop protesting the use of animals, all the while wearing shoes or boots made of leather.
We see all of these listings of couples and individuals that say things like; "we only want athletic types" or "well taken care of". Like I said before, COME ON!!!!!!!!! We have met some couples and individuals that don't have the rock star cash flow or playboy/girl model body, but damn they were still fun to talk too and play with. >>!
We have busted our asses to get where we are today and to have the toys and life that we live. The last thing that we want to run into is someone that has a hypocritical attitude with their noses shoved so far in the clouds, they know what the weather will be before it hits the news. Hell, we have our guide lines, but we are not stuck on looks either.
So I again put it to the question, why is that? Let us know what your thoughts are on this. And if this really kicks you butt as it does ours.
After all you only live this life once...might as well have fun living it.
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To link to this blog (sassie1977) use [blog sassie1977] in your messages.
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