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I have untired my fingers and will thus provide you with said Bio. I have the lack of say of a million souls. I have the instincts of a killer mole. I feel this tensity on my back but I don't know what to do. So I go out there, and try not to stew. I'm also a man of many talents. I enjoy experiences, and have often risked everything to achieve self enlightenment. Although my habits say I'm wired for self-destruction, I still don't seem to change deep down so I'm always perfect for some reason, its kind of irritating always being so damn right. Like a stone/rock, I'm hard to budge and require a process that takes millions of psi and temperatures of about 400 degrees before I can truly metamorphasize into something with a new design. I like challenging people because no one should have to be forced to sit on the top of the mountain as I always do. So even if I can never leave the pinnacle of perfection, I try to get others to experience something that I cannot, the ability to lose
Humor is my main thing, I like to have fun and I believe that you carry your own weather around with you. I probably use my bizarre sense of humor as a way to fill in conversational dead air, but I don't analyze it too much. Also I heard women like a sense of humor in a guy.
Plus I'm hilarious.
And delicious. And other stuff but I'll run out of space. bout myself in fewer than 500 characters? I'm too amazing for a character limit.
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One of these florida nights 1
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Posted:Aug 1, 2018 11:47 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3802 Views
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"So you're coming to Gainseville on your trip?"
The hotel door keycard beeps and turns neon green and she falls back into complete darkness, her hands encircled around the back of my neck dragging me into dim room where the the only light came from a whirring budget hotel air conditioner that I forgot to turn off when I left.
"Yeah, I've actually connected with a shit ton more women on the other side of the country"
She moves backward and the only thing that keeps her from falling was my hands on her hips and even I was guiding on pure memory. One of her long legs crept up and wrapped around my ass but her tight jeans couldn't find purchase and slid down as we moved forward, nearly crashing us to the floor. If that would of happened, I would have taken her right then
"Oh so what? You're checking me off in your little black book?  ?"
Kissing. The entire world is nothing but us kissing and touching and skin and removing clothes and the animal like flare from our breathing and the click of our tongues.
"What if I am  ?"
The back of her ankles hits the edge of the bed, she lets go of the back of my neck and falls back and under me. She's wearing the aforementioned tight blue jeans with a undone belt with a silver buckle that glinted a off-kilter sneer in the darkness.
"...."
"I'm cool with that"
Above her pants her bare ebony stomach was painted in white moonlight slashes sitting in between a perfect hourglass waistline. Her tummy panted in and out and sweat droplets rolled down in little waterfalls onto the bed covering. I wanted to kiss every single one off of her.
"......What? Look I was just joking you're not just a stop on my fuck list"
Above her taunt stomach and black halter top held back two full breasts that were heaving, the tips of her nipples stuck out. She had brought her arms back over her head and her dreaded purple streaked hair spilled out as if in a halo around her.
"I know stupid. I just want to see you and I think we both know what this is"
Her shoulders and most of her back were tattoo'd and her thick framed glassed had dropped down to her neck as if in a choker. The lipstick she had on was smeared and she was biting her lips, her eyes were half closed like a content cat. Her body language was already saying the next words that came out of her mouth
"Take me"
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"So live"
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Posted:Apr 22, 2018 4:29 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3681 Views
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“You attend the funeral, you bid the dead farewell. You grieve. Then you continue with your life. And at times the fact of her absence will hit you like a blow to the chest, and you will weep. But this will happen less and less as time goes on. She is dead. You are alive. So live.”
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I'm too young for my back to be this fucked up
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Posted:Apr 18, 2018 6:41 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3713 Views
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Dr's appointment today, I passed the time not reading a book and waiting for him to saunter in (possibly wearing a Grim Reapers hood) and ink stamping a big ass "CANCER" word on my forehead
Instead he looked like he was genuinely perplexed to see me there
"What can I you with today?"
Me: ".....the blood tests?"
Dr: "Oh right, I wrote OK at the bottom, wasn't it clear enough? Aren't these letters medical proof that there's nothing wrong with you?"
Me: "Well for , my white blood cell count is low, and so is neutrophils and lymphocites are low a-"
Dr: "Those last go down with low blood cell counts. Don't worry about it"
Me: "Dont worry about it? It's my fucking immune system! It's at 3.4!"
Dr: "Nah its nothing if it hits 2.anything then, well, then you're really fucked. I'll have to send you to a hematologist then. Anything else?"
Me quot;My bs, I reiterate, MY BS, are hurting. I've been having reaccuring headaches, I've been more fatigued then usual, small red pinhead bloodspots are appearing all over my body, and I feel sick after eating, my lymph nodes are swollen, I'm ared I have lymphoma or leukemia "
Dr: "Nah sounds like Gallsts or hemorrhoids"
Me: "What?"
Dr: "The blood work doesn't check out for either of those cancers, which by the way if you had you'd probably be dead by now"
Me: "I'm also having a tough time maintaining an erection and arousal, I couldn't barely get it up for my last girlfriend and couldn't cum most times."
Dr: "Was she ugly?"
Me: "......"
Dr: "There ya go"
At the end of it, I still got him to refer me to a hematologist and have a lymph node biopsy heduled to be cleared by my insurance. With a colonoopy next week and a endoopy the week after that.
To be quite hst as ary as my health concerns have been and how the nightmare enarios, I'm glad my sense of humor is still there
Maybe I might survive after all.
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Nutshell by Alice in Chains
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Posted:Apr 14, 2018 7:50 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2018 7:52 pm
3783 Views
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We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
My gift of self is taken
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
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positives and negatives
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Posted:Apr 13, 2018 10:43 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3706 Views
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We attract each other
like a drop of water, like planets.
We repel each other
like magnets, like the colors of our skin.
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90 days sober
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Posted:Apr 11, 2018 1:09 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3713 Views
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I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
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Live through this
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Posted:Apr 10, 2018 11:18 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3686 Views
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Blood test
Notables
eGFR 77 L
Total Bilirubin 1.4 H
HDL Cholesterol 68 H
Coronary Risk Ratio 2.50 L
CPK, Total 432 H
WBC 3.4 L
Neutrophils 37.1 L
Lymph 49.1 H
HIV 1&2 AB, EIA Serum Non-reactive Non-reactive
Chlamydia by Urine Negative
Gonorrhoeae by urine Negative
I have a appointment with my GP next time, and a Colonscopy on the 30th, and a Endscopy the week after this
Pray for me
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broken coda
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Posted:Apr 8, 2018 10:18 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3723 Views
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We must never shed tears
that is life's form of defeat
and if we give in to those emotions
then it only becomes proof
of our inability to control it
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Dear PC World
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Posted:Apr 4, 2018 11:07 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3875 Views
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I never thought this would happen to me....but I my first sexual encounter at the workplace.....
I had been called to talk with management. What could it be about? Maybe my awkward behavior around the office? That couldn't be right; I talked with HR about my Asperger's and I had them call my mom for confirmation. Neurotypicals don't understand. They can't understand.
I walk down the hall. Her door is at the end of the hall. As I walk, people look at me. Some even say hello. The nerve! They don't know what I know; they don't know the difference between PAL and NTSC. They don't even care.
I finally arrive. I knock on the door.
"Come in," says a female voice.
I enter her office. Sitting behind a desk is my boss. Her skirt is cleanly laundered and complements her firm thigh, contrasted with my kakhis. Her shirt is freshly pressed and slightly open. If I allowed my gaze to linger, I would see a firm set of breasts. But I didn't.
"Do you know why I called you here?" she asks.
I was looking through our records," she said while glancing down at her Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1, "and it says here that you're a Federal Breast Inspector." I gulped down hard, and my saliva went down my windpipe which triggered a coughing fit. She licked her lips and moved closer, breathing into my ear, "I was hoping you could take a moment and inspect me.
I couldn't believe I heard that. Couldn't. She must have seen the surprise in my expression because she moved forward, using her body language to get the message across.
Her skirt is cleanly laundered and complements her firm thigh, contrasted with my kakhis. Her shirt is freshly pressed and slightly open. If I allowed my gaze to linger, I would see a firm set of breasts. But I didn't.
"Do you know why I called you here?" she asks. For the second time.
"Is there something wrong with your computer?" I ask. "Did you try turning it off and on again?" A reference wasted.
"It has come to my attention you've been spending hours writing about...the inefficiency of the Japanese subway system? Is this true?"
shit.
"Is this what we pay you to do? Waste company time talking about trains on the internet?"
"Well, a subway car isn't a tra-"
She stands up and walks over to me.
"Do they have trains in Japan, Mr. Peter?"
"Not in the Japanese subw-"
She sits in my lap and lets her hair down.
"What do you know about cabooses?"
She hugs me close, her breasts smashing into my oxford shirt, her breath against my neck. And over her shoulder I see that her computer finder is open to the thesaurus.
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Brain vomit
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Posted:Apr 3, 2018 11:30 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 4:11 am
3737 Views
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There's this book called Shogun. There's an earth quake, and one samurai falls in. The earth closes up as fast as it opened, and the man dies. Seeing the futility of mourning, the other samurais begin to laugh boisterously. Lately, to an outsider, I must sound pretty upbeat. I've actually been very angry. A long time ago, I was talking to this guy. I guess, at one time, I would have called him my friend. I'm not clear on that term now, so I choose not to combine that with those around me. I thought things were going well for all those I once called friends.
I don't really consider my self a person of importance. But listening to this man... He could never see things the way I do... ("Don't you have friends? You told me you get rides from people all the time. Now, with my personality, you've got tons of friends.
So.
The question is, why do you need me? Haven't you taken enough from me?" "I need someone to confide in." "And these people... the people you call friends, they're not willing to listen?" "Don't you miss hanging out with me?" "I can't change the past. And I can't decide the future. Besides, we're hanging out now... and I'm listening now." "Didn't you have fun when we used to drive around? I'm getting a truck soon... We could do all that stuff again." "I'm not sure what your chief complaint is, but it seems to have something to do with me.")
Some ugly bastards on the phone at work and he's talking to someone. Why can't I have that? Someone I can call up on the telephone and say, "Look I had a really shitty day today and I need someone to listen. You don't have to even say anything back just please listen, listen not like a psychiatrist but like a human being acting compassionately towards another. ."
What makes me less deserving of such attention? All I have is my work. Just me, a , leading other at work. That's all we are. raising . Someone told me I was to funny to work there. But right now, this is all I can think of doing. I want to quit. I want to do something else and go somewhere. I want to move out and be on my own. Not weighed down by all these fake people that claim that we have something in common.
I guess if you make your efforts for someone else, you only lie to yourself.
All I want to do is lie down and sleep. I've never felt so tired. Work. Romance. Drama. People. Life. Fuck it all . I guess when all those problems pile up and there's really nothing you can do to make life any better, all you can do is enjoy what you have. Whether it's alot, alittle, or nothing at all. Looking at it from a different point of view, it was a choice that I feel bad. From a objective view point, there's no reason that the opinions of others on my life should determine my own self worth.
But that's not the way the world sees it. A part of me thinks that fitting in and having friends is the way to go. That that's what's gonna make me happy. And then there's the other part of me. The one I believe in. The one that feels held down by popular opinion and feels there's something absolutely great that I could achieve... if only I stopped doing what other people thought I should be doing.
I'm trying to find that balance. A peaceful co-existance between your shitty ideas, and mine. That is where my turmoil exists. Everyone but me sounding particularly retarded today.
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To link to this blog (rockonpeterhuert) use [blog rockonpeterhuert] in your messages.
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