Know I haven't posted In a while
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Posted:Jan 14, 2008 7:12 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 10:11 am
709 Views
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I know I haven't posted in awhile. With my computer not working for 2 weeks . And the fact that I stupidly decided to go back to college. College right now is like getting a kick i the teeth. Not only do I have to remember how to write essays. I have been out of school for awhile. Too numerous to mention. I also have to learn how to do certain computer programs. So right now its like a kick in the teeth. But I know that in a couple of weeks that it will all be okay. I can't wait till the time comes.
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What a difference a couple of months make
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Posted:Dec 13, 2007 11:22 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 10:11 am
685 Views
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A couple of months back if you would have told me that I would that special guy. I would have laughed in your face. But the unimaginable has taken place, I have met that special guy. I am a lot better for knowing him. When I was about to give up he came into my life, it hasn't been the same since. So now on Outpersonals I am just looking for friends nothing else. The guy means too much to me to hurt him in any way.
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Getting back to normal?
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Posted:Sep 20, 2007 4:36 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2007 6:17 pm
757 Views
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Well after everything that I have gone through I've tried to get my life back to normal. I haven't been to successful yet. I am still single. I'm still have no real true friends close by. You know the kind that will call up and say "Lets go out for a drink or do something". Well I don't have friends like that. Maybe I'm over romanticizing what true , close friends really do. But I think having a best friend or a close friend is really important, hopefully one day I'll have one. In the mean time I just go on living my life by myself, with no one really here to rely on. My family is 400 miles away so they are no real help. I just don't think I'll ever get used to not having really close friends in my life. but who knows that my change. (hopefully)
So is my life back to normal. No its a work in progress. WHO knows when it will be back to normal.
Hoof Hearted
I even forgot to celebrate International Speak Like A Pirate Day. Which is every September 19 every year. So to make up for it I'll just tell one pirate joke to make up for it. "How come Pirates only Bury their Treasure 18" Deep............Cuz Booty is Only Shin Deep!!!! ........................................ARRRRRRR Matey.
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D day is over
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Posted:Sep 20, 2007 4:21 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2007 6:16 pm
705 Views
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D Day is finally over with and gone. I got back the results for my brain scan. This is how I was told my results.
Doc: Well we found something.ME: Heart falls into my stomach. Doc: You have too much brain. ME: Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Doc: A good thing it means you have no tumours.
I could have smacked him one putting my through that the way he did. But I couldn't I was just to happy to know that I was okay and that I had no more worrying to do. YEAH!!!!!
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D day has come and gone.
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Posted:Sep 6, 2007 11:42 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2007 6:17 pm
787 Views
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D day has come and gone. I was to get results back from an MRI that I had done. They are checking for tumors in my brain. Needless to say I have been pretty worked up about this week. Especially Tuesday, I was a basket case. Not knowing what to expect. Afraid at what the result would be. But I am no farther ahead today than I was on Tuesday. At the last minute my appointment was canceled due to an emergency with my doctor. So know I have to wait until next week to find out the results. Know I am afraid that the results are negative(which is what I want), that all my worrying and going on will make people more upset at me. That I turned it into something bigger than I should have. But I won't know that till I do get the results.
Another 5 days until the second D day is here.
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Being a way for awhile
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Posted:Aug 15, 2007 11:24 am
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2007 11:25 am
703 Views
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I am going to visit family for 2 weeks. I get to try out that old theory, do blondes have more fun. I actually had to dye it again because the color looked like straw. Now I look like Edgar Winter.He was once married to Cher. It went a little too white instead of blonde. LOL Well I'll let you know of my research when I get back.
hoof hearted
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What a difference a week makes
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Posted:Aug 11, 2007 5:00 pm
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2007 10:01 am
731 Views
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What a difference a week makes. Last time I wrote I seemed to be in this dark place. But now its changed. I am actually seeing sunlight. People are actually writing me first. Instead of me writing them. Which is something I really don't like doing,because you never know what the other person is going to think. Its like being rejected with out even knowing why when they decline your offer of joining your network.
Another thing is that I seem to use winks as something to tell that person that I am thinking of them but haven't been able to write a letter to them yet. My only wish is that when someone receives a wink that maybe they could write back if they felt like it. I am not saying that you have to write back every time a wink comes your way. But sometimes it would be nice.
Oh yeah another thing, which shows how stupid I can be. I grabbed a bottle out of aunts medicine cabinet thinking it was shampoo. It wasn't it was Peroxide. So imagine the shock I got. So I have had to dye my hair blonde. Now I'll finally get to see if blonde's do have more fun. I'll probably have to dye it again because it looks to straw colored, I want to be a beach blonde. LOL
I'll try and post a picture someday when I am comfortable with the look. Well I have to leave now. I get to test if the theory is true that blonde's do have more fun.
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Adding a little sunshine
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Posted:Aug 5, 2007 7:43 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2007 7:33 am
756 Views
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I decided I better add some sunshine to my blogs. Or everybody Is going to think I constantly live in this dark and gloomy space. which is far from the truth. The days that I wrote the other blogs I was down. I was feeling like the last being chosen for the team and that I was the consolation prize and that the last team picking was stuck with me.but slowly things have been looking up and I am not in a dark and gloomy place anymore.
Even though I know people read these blogs I thought for sure no one would read mine. There seems to be some many more blogs that are written better. I ended up using this blog for a rant that I was feeling. Well I don't feel it anymore. With the encouragement I have received, it has shown me that yes there are decent guys out there. And I might even be able to find someone to be in my life.To those Individuals all I can say is thank you , You have made a world of difference in my life.
I have come to realize that yes some of my blogs are going to be dark and gloomy but I also have to weigh them against putting some light hearted blogs in also. We tend to forget the good stuff and focus only on the negative. Well I am going to try and do both
Starting with my nome de plume (pen name) I will no longer sign off as shybren but rather I will be signing off as HOOF HEARTED.Its one of the best names I have come across for a farm in PEI.
So expect some dark and light blogs from me from now on.
For now signing off
Hoof hearted
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Not in the mood.............
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Posted:Jul 30, 2007 3:09 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2007 9:31 pm
748 Views
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I finally have started to think that this place is a waste of time.I haven't had someone come out and say lets meet. Rather all I seem to get is more and more frustrated. People who were emailing me at the beginning, once they saw my photos posted all communication stopped. Not even a note to say sorry but no thanks. So your left at this place of being insecure , because once people see what you look like the don't want anything to do with you.
I know my photo isn't all that great. I know I have a few extra pounds on. I know that I'm not considered cute. But its not as if I am a hideous freak of nature. In my profile I tell everyone the truth that I am not a gym bunny, I don't have 6 pack abs. So why is it that once they see the photos its game over for me.
Its at the point know I am just about to shut everything down. Cancel my profile. Its at the breaking point. Out of 5 original people that emailed me 4 are no longer talking to me. I know the reason for 1 of them and it was totally my fault.Another one is that once my pictures were posted it was good bye. The other 2 as of today I have no clue what I did or didn't do for them to stop talking to me.
If this is going to be the reception I get I want out now. I don't want to waste anyones time. I don't even want to waste my time, but that is all I seem to be doing wasting time and energy on contacting these people only to have it thrown back in my face. They all say they want the person to be truthful, but when I am truthful I get the short end of the stick. They don't write back. So what am I supposed to do lie about me. Well I can't do that, I want to be in a truthful, meaningful relationship. So if I lie at the very beginning how is that beneficial to me and the relationship.
Everyone goes running in the opposite direction when I tell them that I am on stress leave from work. No big deal. But it is as if I said I had the bubonic plague. So I am on stress leave does that mean I am not allowed to look for a partner. If anything its creating more stress to be on here. But I suck it up and keep going on. I am not this whimpering person on the side line, I am someone who is trying to get back to his normal life.Which is getting closer and closer every day. Its like in my last relationship after dating for 3 years, I ended up sick and was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I have had it for the last ten years but they didn't diagnose it properly till about 3 years ago. What happened to my relationship, suffice it to say the person I was dating said after 3 years, I think we should take it slow. Then he promptly left the country to teach in Europe. What a great relationship that was. Every time he needed me I was there. But when I could have used somebody to be there he left. And I am getting that same feeling here. Because I am being truthful nobody wants anything to do with me. Its as if they think they will have to become a nurse maid or something. Guess what folks I don't need that I am quite capable to look after myself. I have being doing it for most of my adult life. I can only depend on me as it is I am the only one of my family who lives here. So I don't have support from family. I have to get the support from myself. As for friends I don't have any. Thats the truth I do not have any friends. Why because they always let me down. Blame me for things I have no control over. I don't need friends like that. The kind of friends I want is someone who will call up and see if you want to do something. Or just sit and chat over a coffee. I want someone who I can tell some important things in my life.
Right at this point that is me. I am the only one, if I want to go out, I have to go out alone. If I want to have a coffee, I have to go alone. I can't tell anyone things that are important in my life because I'm the only one there, and I already know what those things are that are important to me.
Thats why I say I'm not in the mood. I am not in the mood for people wasting my and their time. I am not in the mood to be left hanging to wonder if I am going to get another email. I am not in the mood for when I tell the truth people run away. I am not in the mood....................
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I quess I should write something
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Posted:Jul 8, 2007 1:47 am
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2007 10:37 pm
771 Views
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I forgot that I had this blog here till today. So I thought I better write something in it. Hopefully it will make me sound intelligent, amusing and funny all at the same time. But some how I doubt that it is going to work. It just might come off as someone who is bitter and disillusioned and angry about his lot in life.
My goal is to land somewhere in the middle. Hopefully I can articulate some of the things I see around me that bother me and some things that give me great pleasure.
Living in Canada sometimes gives me a warped sense of the world. With somethings that I don't understand and others that I understand to well.
I guess they call that nation-centric. (I don't know if that is a real word but I'm using it anyway). We have certain rights here that we sometimes take for granted and totally forget that there are others who are still fighting for those same rights,against Homophobic regimes, governments and sometimes their own people.
I think that we all have to do something to allow the next generation of gays and lesbians and bisexuals ETC... to have a world where who you go to bed with doesn't matter. A place where no one can get attacked for being who they are. A place where if you want to defend your country it doesn't matter if your gay or straight. All you want to do is the same thing, protect your rights and freedoms, so to me it doesn't matter a BULLET doesn't discriminate. If you want to do this for your country then I take my hat off to you, because you deserve it. If you are willing to die for something you believe in who cares who is in the foxhole beside you I just hope it is someone with good aim.
Like I said we in Canada have achieved some of these rights but we tend to let other people fight their own battles. Yes, we have the right to marry who ever we want. (Accept animals which I am not advocating in anyway...Its just sometimes people in their ultimate arguments about same sex marriage always try to put this sound bite in). Yes we can serve our country openly and defend our Charter Of Rights. But we can't let our guard down for a minute because if we do someone will come in and take them all back, even though we are living in the 21st century. Some people would rather see us off the face of the earth, but we all know that it will never happen as long as straight people continue on having sex and producing babies,because where do these people think we come from another planet:SENT HERE TO ABOLISH STRAIGHT SOCIETY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!
(MEN TAKING THE MEN- WOMEN TAKING THE WOMEN)eventhough that sounds somewhat erotic ,it's never going to happen(DAMN).
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To link to this blog (rm_shybren45) use [blog rm_shybren45] in your messages.
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