Ok i have got it
|
Posted:Apr 21, 2009 3:16 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 11:15 pm
1474 Views
|
The truth is that i have not found what i want yet it is a simple as that i do not know why i always complicate things beyond reason i want to have fun and thats all i want to enjoy my life whether it be alone or with someone by my side i have looked at this thing from all sides now and have come to the same conclusion that having fun needs to be priority No. 1
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Am i Kidding myself
|
Posted:Apr 12, 2009 12:49 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2009 9:10 pm
1872 Views
|
Hello
Well i want to run something by everyone i want to tell you what i want out of a woman and then i would like to know from you guys am i just kidding myself ?????
I want someone that i get along with someone with whom i can share all my thoughts and also with whom i can enjoy life with someone that is a great deal of fun to be around and finds being with me a great deal of fun someone i can learn from and who can learn from me,these things i have found no problem finding some qualities more successfully than others but generally it is not that difficult.So Whats my problem do you ask ???? Well the problem is that when i see the person i want to feel that i need them that i want them and that there is no other for me out there this is something that i find a problem generally i find that most woman i meet are not attractive to me.Now now i do not mean for them to be supermodels and when i talk attraction in this context it is something that is personal to me when i look at them i want to wake up next to them every morning and i know and when i come back from work i know when i see them in the street out of the blue i know.I have never found this since my ex wife with her i felt that way and yet look where that ended up.But even thou that did not last the distance i feel i will be unfair to myself and any future partner if i do not see them in the same light because that will mean that i settled and that i do not believe is worth it both for myself and whoever i choose to go into a serious relationship with.Now a great deal of people tell me that i do not get there because i still hooked on the ex but to be honest this does not do me any favors because it will not be until i find someone that does it for me that this problem will not go away.So after all that rambling please i implore you give me some advice i really need it because it is one of my greatest stumbling blocks and it feels as if i am hitting my head against a wall .....
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Good Weekend
|
Posted:Apr 12, 2009 12:22 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 11:15 pm
1453 Views
|
Hello everyone hope you guys are enjoying the time off it seems that most people are having some good fun and not being to naughty.I have enjoyed my weekend up to now and i am rearing to go as far as the week is concerned but hey has anyone noticed i know that it is said often but the year is really flying by like nothing and i still have to have a great party for the year have anyone of you got any ideas ??????
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Goog Times
|
Posted:Apr 2, 2009 7:38 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 11:15 pm
1450 Views
|
I seems everyone is working hard and the world has not fallen into the abyss yet the tide is starting to turn and i am sure we will be a better world for it.But what i want to know is what do you guys do to get your minds off of things and have fun in addition i would love to know what you always wanted to do but did not get around to.I know I know it is a age old question and it has been asked a thousand times.The Difference is that i have a requirement and that is that it has to have no cost implications,Now thats a challenge i know or is it are we still inventive enough to actually think of things or have we become so consumer orientated that we do not even know where to start.
Well my challenge has been set so lets hear from you ??????
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Back Again
|
Posted:Mar 31, 2009 8:17 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2009 7:29 am
1587 Views
|
Hello Everybody i have been busy and have not been near this computer so i have not really commented or shared my thoughts lately i have been on a solitary quest of sorts and it has led to a lot of fun and adventure but to be honest it is nice to see the pages of Affairlook again i can only imagine that a lot has been happening here and you guys will have to fill me in about it sometime well i am back and i will try and write here more so we can share ideas and tell all about our adventures and journeys !!!!!!!!
And a special thanks to all the people that mailed me and asked when i will be back thank you it really amde me feel part of something.This community great and i really missed you guys !!!!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Well Well
|
Posted:Feb 12, 2009 11:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2009 8:01 am
1909 Views
|
Hello Guys i am back Valentines day is upon us and i suppose love is in the air hope you guys get what your heart desires and i hope you ladies get swept off your for feet.
But as is customary with me i always use this platform to discuss more serious matters in my life.
Well let me start i have been divorced now for a while and have joined this site firstly just to feel alive and wanted again but these days it is mostly about speaking to people and getting to share my opinion well ever since my separation i suspected that my wife was cheating on me and that is why she wanted out she of course denied it and nobody that knew her confirmed my suspicions in fact they all told me that they knew nothing and that it was not like my wife and that i was wrong even the psychologist told me that i was just looking for justification so that i could deal better with the rejection.Well these days that story is changing my are speaking more openly about the guy that i suspected originally and it seems that they see a great deal of him and then one of my wife's friends told me in a conversation that my wife is dating a guy and that she has been for quite a while i said that i was not concerned to which she answered something that was a bit strange she said you do not understand she has been dating this guy for a long time.Well i suppose that was some kind of hint i can not be sure.Then this week an employee of mine that was living in a room in my home during my marriage and shortly after wards told me this week when i mentioned that i had seen my wife in the mall,because i generally avoid the places she goes to and the employee had asked when i had seen her last well to my amazement she then said oh and she was not with her boyfriend ? which completely floored me not because there is a boyfriend but because everyone seems to be so open about it now i suppose i am now in the right frame of mind to hear these things to be honest i feel more relieved than upset in fact i strangely wish her the best i hope that she has found what she is looking for and that he can truly make her happy because to be honest i do not think i ever did she was always very critical of me and whenever i did not get her what she wanted.i was always getting the cold shoulder and told how i did not love her i do not think in retrospect that she ever loved me and most of my marriage was about me doing the high jump trying to disprove the fact that she suspected me of not loving her which is something that i only realized after wards. i would never be able to prove my love to her conclusively because it was not me that was not in love it was her failing to admit to herself and me that she did not want to be with me,look i was the one that condoned it so i am equally at fault.Truth be told i am alone now and do not know when i will be ready for a relationship again but i am happy for her more than i will ever admit to her she deserves to be happy truly happy we all do and i hope that this time she is with someone that she really wants to be with and that will make her happy.She will always be important to me as she truly seemed like the woman of my dreams whether that was an illusion or not it did feel amazing to wake up next to her every morning and watch her sleeping i never wanted to be next to anyone else but hey who knows maybe i will feel the same about someone else one day i hope so but i am also not betting my life on achieving it either whether it happens or not is not important to me anymore but if it does i will make sure the feeling is mutual and if it is i will appreciate every minute of it and will never let anything come between us of that i am sure !!!!!!
Enjoy the weekend guys !!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
50/50
|
Posted:Jan 16, 2009 12:58 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2009 11:53 am
1620 Views
|
The week is almost gone and it is time to relax party whatever tickles your fancy as for me i want to party i know it is early in the year and there is little to celebrate yet but i am in the mood for a party tonight !!!! Funny how we just sometimes have to do something new and exciting to bring back our passion for life it does not need to be something big grandiose but just something new.Thats my take on it what do you guys think have a got a point or am i speaking absolute nonsense personally i do not know I am split 50/50 ?????????????
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Hello Again
|
Posted:Jan 13, 2009 6:08 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2009 6:51 am
1739 Views
|
i have been looking at some of my older posts on this blog and to be honest it is kind of embarrassing ,What Was I Thinking it is quite clear to me now that i have come a long way since my marriage ended thats for sure.I was contemplating deleting them but you know what i have decided not even thou i think it makes me feel a little red faced the truth is this blog is sort of a path i have walked and now i regret not using it more extensively in the past it is me sometimes i ramble on about nothing of any significance and other times i say the dumbest things and other times i go deep and serious and try to understand what the dynamics are in regards to interactions between males and females.And sometimes i sounded well downright desperate to be honest, in the beginning that is pretty much all i sounded like!!!!!!!
But Hey i Enjoy it tremendously now and i hope that some of you are enjoying reading it too !!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
So its into the swing of things
|
Posted:Jan 13, 2009 5:16 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2009 6:51 am
1516 Views
|
So it has been a week and it feels like i have been working forever the holidays seem such a distant memory i was talking last week about getting into things and now the fact that i was even contemplating it seems ob surd funny how that works one minute we try and imagine how we are going to bring ourselves out of slumber and the next we have with out much thought.
But Enough about that i enjoyed my weekend with the and it was great fun my is starting school tomorrow and i am sure he is excited and nervous.Thats something else that i can not stand to be honest with you i do not know if i have mentioned it before but i bought my a cell phone so that i can have contact with my as my ex has not given me her new number and she does not have a land line in any case the next thing i knew i was told by my that her Moms phone broke and that she is using my daughters now so yet again i have no direct contact with the ie: i cannot phone to wish them well or anything to be honest i can phone my daughters No. which is always off and leave a message and then normally within four to five hours i will get a please call me to which i then have to immediately phone back within 10 minutes otherwise the phone is off again and the whole process is repeated again.I However do not like doing this because it is degrading in my opinion and a huge power play if you ask me.Sometimes i wonder why i even bother trying anymore but hey i suppose it is worth it i know my are thats for sure!!!!!!
But enough of the doom and gloom its raining and its mighty fine cuddling weather if you ask me what do you guys think somehow i have this image of being cuddled up under a blanket and holding someone in front of the fireplace strange with the heat lately i wonder why i have such an image .it should rather be of being on a beach somewhere under the sun being able to go for a swim with the least effort but i suppose the mere sight of whether like this makes me long for some closeness maybe a candlelight dinner something along those lines will be more appropriate.Ok Ok i am rambling today. Hope you guys enjoy the rest of your day and my it be filled with happiness i know mine will be no matter what.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Better Days
|
Posted:Jan 8, 2009 3:25 am
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2009 4:32 am
2537 Views
|
This year is not getting of to such a bad start i had the great fortune of wining a LCD Tv this morning its not a massive one but hey its the first thing that i can remember wining and although it was pure luck i am pretty proud of the achievement.
Further more i am getting my this weekend and seeing that it is Thursday it has been on my mind quite a bit today as I am quite excited about seeing them again and this is a bit of a difference because normally i dread the experience i do not mean it in a bad way it is just that as time goes by it becomes harder to relate to them because the reality that they are growing up in a different house becomes more and more evident and sometimes that just makes me so angry because i realize that someone has decided for me and my what our lives will be like just because they have other objectives that they selfishly pursue,but enough about that because that is not where I am at at the moment.I think it is because they were with me for most part of my leave that i feel differently you see the time together gave me the opportunity to spend more quality time with them and get to know them better again. i know it will change as we settle into the year but i am thankful for any time with them because i truly love them with every part of my being and that i know will never change.
Its funny it is sad when marriages fail but when they fail and there are involved it is a nightmare.Lately i have been thinking back and the only parties truly loose the most are the . I know it is a old saying but to be honest i still do not think that most divorcee's realize the full extent of just how much the loose.But i tell you one thing i have the most brilliant in the world and that is something that i will always thank my lucky stars for !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Well the day went well
|
Posted:Jan 7, 2009 6:26 am
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2009 12:22 pm
1531 Views
|
All in all i had a productive day even thou i spent quite a bit of time on the blogs I still got a lot done and I am starting to feel a lot more positive about being back at work so all in all i think it was a good day.
All around me i heard a lot of people raving about the petrol price and the economy the fact that interest rates are going to fall and that South Africa is going to avoid having to deal with the full impact of the world crisis i have my opinion but the positive attitude of everyone around me sure helped today it is funny if we are surrounded with positive influences it tends to rub off in a big way one does not necessarily have to believe what peoples interpretations of the situation, but i don't know just absorb the energy of there sentiment i suppose. Just know that no matter what life throws your way you will deal with as if it were an adventure or experience and no matter what happens things will be ok.
I know know it is a lot easier said than done but we owe it to ourselves and others to give it our best shot the alternative is no solutions either !!!!!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Work Work Work
|
Posted:Jan 6, 2009 11:08 pm
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2009 3:06 am
1488 Views
|
Been Back at work now for a few days and it has been difficult to get back into it I am finding very hard to get motivated and stuck into things the Holiday that i had seems like a distant memory.I was wondering does it feel the same for most people or are there those who come back from leave feeling excited about the prospects of a new year or is it just a pipe dream ??????
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Modern Life
|
Posted:Jan 3, 2009 2:13 am
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2009 7:36 pm
1819 Views
|
i think that a lot of people on this site enjoy the thrill of the chase but not necessarily the actions that are insinuated.It seems the woman have there pick and to be honest they rule the roost on here and that it is a real power trip for them.i do not blame them and any man faced with the same circumstances would do the same it is just that these days i wonder whether we have not taken this equality thing to far i suppose a woman that indulges in many partners is still considered a slut in many peoples eyes but thats just it. by there very nature it is more of an achievement for a guy to have many woman (Not that i am saying it is acceptable)because a guy has to work at making an impression on a woman in order to get noticed th ru the hoards in my opinion a woman just has to choose one of the many people chasing her and there is no real achievement in that well none that is immediately apparent.Is that maybe why the stigma still exists.Do not get me wrong i am by no means against woman or what they stand for and to be honest i would like to find an equal to spend my life with not someone subservient.I Just sometimes think that we throw respect for each other out the window these days and just want to satisfy our own needs with out realizing that there is no depth in that experience and that by being selfish we will never really get to experience the truth in anything even thou we experience many things to thrill ourselves i still believe in sharing with others and being aware of everyones expectations and needs we experience more fully than what we ever will in isolation.
I Welcome feedback,opinions and criticism and i hope that everyone reading this will not think that i am knocking either sex it is just some honest questions that i have been pondering
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
