Play Me......
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Posted:Jun 15, 2007 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2007 5:58 am
2806 Views
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Mood.....Today......Im CRASHING!.......Emotionally tore up at the moment!......Lost.......Wanting a dark hole to curl up in..(and not have anyone take advantage of me, just let me know that they are there)....I did this and got into alittle more I can handle right at the moment.....BUT my Heart.....Damn that little thing.....To bad we need it to live......Id pay someone to remove mine.
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and another day goes by........
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Posted:Jun 14, 2007 4:51 pm
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2007 4:03 pm
2783 Views
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Thursday,,,,
Last Thursday *C* went to court. and It doesnt look good for him, or to us. Looks like he is going to spend sometime.
Damnit.....This may seem like a life time, before I get to touch him again.
But for now, Im HAPPY with the letters and phone calls from him. He is such an awesome guy.
So as for July, we are waiting to see if his appeal goes through. I sure hope it does and some of his time is REDUCED!
But for now....Im content in what Im doing. Living here at my trailer, working, and staying out of trouble and everybody elses BS.
I didnt promise *C* I would be here, until he got out. (depends on how long we are talking about)
But for now, what the hell else I got to do. and anyway IM HAPPY at the moment, and I want to wait. Hes awesome and he is what I was looking for on this damn website. To bad I was alittle to late.
But thank god, he is facing his problems NOW, and before I had moved up there. Even though he wants me still to this day, to move into his house. Hell I guess Im the stubborn one here. I wont move in, without him!.....So I guess I wait!!
So I not dead.....Im just livin one day at a time!!
Have a good one!!
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800th Post......Thank-You
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Posted:Jun 5, 2007 5:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2007 6:11 am
2879 Views
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Sometimes I feel like...
Im losing my marbles.
Maybe thats why I dont...
spend as much time here.
But today I can...
PROUDLY
say....
I have made it to my...
800th
post.
I want to Thank all of you
for reading my Blog and
putting up with all my
bullshit...
~grin~
THANK-YOU
Friends,
Bloggers
&
Visitors
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want it NOW.....
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Posted:Jun 4, 2007 6:04 am
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2007 5:47 am
2825 Views
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~MONDAY~
Poppin in...
Gettin ready for a day at work...
Had a good roadtrip over the last weekend. Just me and fallin cruising around the country side in northwest of the god for saken state we live in, Indiana.
Never got lost, I guess it takes a good person in the passenger seat and a map and know how to read that map 
I love the passenger seat on roadtrips I dont get to be in that seat very much. Im usually the driver.....So it was all good!!
I did wiggle through the country side and got to stop and see *C* in jail. He looks rough and in a bad mood. Well I guess his mood is like mine, I dont do jail time out very good. When I want something I want it NOW. and with all thats going on in *C* life I have to wait, DAMNIT!
*C* does have court today and Im sittin here hoping for the BEST!! But hell Ill be sittin here next week, maybe next month bitching about the same thing. .......I just want him HOME!.....so we can play 
So not much going on in this little world I live in.....
Soooo just wishin ya'll a Good Day!
.
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trippin this weekend
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Posted:Jun 2, 2007 5:58 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2007 9:04 am
2821 Views
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Good Morning...
&
How in the hell are ya?
[blog fallinstrgazer] and I are headed out for a roadtrip today. We are going to Lafayette to see one of Fallins old friends. and Im just going along to ride in the passenager seat!
On Sunday on our way back to our neck of the woods, we are stopping to see *C*. I hate going to the jail to see him. But I got to see him while up there and that close.
So I was just poppin in to let ya all know. Im still kickin and nothing has changed with me and *C*, Im still waiting on him!
Have a Great Weekend
Ya'll
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peekin in
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Posted:May 30, 2007 7:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2007 5:43 am
2743 Views
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Same old shit just a different day or evening depends on how you want to look at it.
Just doing my thing.....living.....without...
Thinking about you guys, just dont have the heart to read alot........
Have a good one
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Unconditional Love....
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Posted:May 13, 2007 5:27 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2007 7:21 pm
2983 Views
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Happy
Mothers
Day
To all the Mothers out there
and to my Blogging Friends!
Love you
Have a Great Day
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time out.....
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Posted:May 11, 2007 5:41 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2007 4:31 am
2820 Views
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I cant believe its Friday again. My time flies around here, with work and driving here and there. It seems I get up in the morning and before I know it, Im going to bed, another day gone.
I keep myself focused on my life here. I take hubby to work in the morning and then I go back home. Then in afternoon I go to work and I get off work, pick up hubby from his work and back home. Whoo hoo
and The whole freaking time, my minds is on *C* and what the hell is going on and what the hell is going to happen. Yes he is still in jail. But has seen his lawyer, FINDLY!.....Freaking slow ass lawyers!
Oh well with my freaking life at the moment I cant keep focus on my blog. Im NOT quittin my blog. Im just going to take a semi break and see where things go.
I will pop in and out, so I wont be to much of a stranger.
Im sorry....Life has turned...and Im trying to deal with it......My heart, is elsewhere!
Later
Mood...Fucked Up...maybe mentally....grin.....love you guys & gals........
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Crash and Burn.....Sore and Wet....
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Posted:May 7, 2007 6:13 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2007 7:14 am
2880 Views
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Hello
Just lettin ya'll know Im still kickin in the same lifestyle.
Only on Sunday I decided to go south for something different to do and just gettin away from the bullshit.
So Me, my hubby and [blog fallinstrgazer] and the dog, took off for a day in the sun. A day to act like and did WE.
While down south...and playing on a quad...I had a dumbass attack and Coming down the driveway at a rate of speed. I hit the creek like it was a brick wall........OOPS......I had so much freakin water in my face, I couldnt see a thing. So I closed my eyes, and the only things I remember is, something about falling over or off, the 4wheeler into the creek and rolling the 4wheeler OFF of me.
Remembering, seeing my foot under the tire. Freaked me out, and I jumped up after it was off of me.
OK so heres the twist....fallinstrgazer was on the back of the quad. I was trailing her and I thought I had killed her once I seen her laying in the creek all twisted.
As I rolled the tire off my foot. The tire then rolled across Fallins twisted knee. We thought the knee was broke.. (its NOT)..Her whole left side of her body is PRETTY banged up. From knee to elbow, wrist and the whole left side of her face.....(I guess she got road rash from the creek bed.)
I only got a nasty bruise on my left knee and the top of my right foot hurts like hell. The back of my left arm has a little hurt to it too.
But one good thing....WE LIVED.....We are tough old birds and we will make it through this one. Thats what we get, acting like .
This little wreck, happened in the early part of the day. and Fallins was so banged up, she DIDNT get back on the quad the rest of the day.
But for me and hurtin alittle, that DIDNT keep me off the quad. It SLOWED me down going across the water. ......But I still was give the quad hell across the flatland.
I swear this quad will be the death of me. I have scared myself to death NOT to climb BIG hills with the damn thing...Me and Fallin also took the adventure together also........WE LIVED....
and I KNOW Im going to get wet riding the quad. I just wont go as fast, or until I get my courage up to hit it alittle harder.
Who knows.....It depends on the state of mind, at that MOMENT in your life...
Good Night
Bloggers, Friends and Visitors
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New Word.....How many agree with this?
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Posted:May 4, 2007 6:15 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2007 5:08 am
2799 Views
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*Grupster*
A new word I have pick up off of TV and the meaning of this new word is......
Parents that wont grow up
I feel that this word is ME!!
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Im a walking time BOMB!.......
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Posted:May 3, 2007 6:12 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2007 5:52 am
2741 Views
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Good Morning.....I guess......I woke up in bitch 101 mode this morning and I dont know why!
I guess with all the pressure Im under and freakin work and home life, its all gettin to me. I just take it one day at a time and see how each day ends.
One thing that bugs me, I dont know anything about *C*. His freakin lawyer wont go see him and so *C* just sits behind the bars of jail and if theres not one thing that can come between to lovers its the STATE and all its wicked wicked ways..........Im just LOST without him.
Everynight I would talk to *C* on the phone for hours and hours. and Now that hes not there to talk to in the evening. I just wonder around the house and the yard like a lost dog!
Im bored with the internet. The internet gets me into trouble. So I have backed off from playing here so freakin much. I try and keep busy, but theres times I cant keep my mind on anything and I just wonder about the place where I live and go with it.
I tried to call my sister last night to see if she knew anything about the family life...(mom and dad and my ) But HELL NO...she didnt answer her phone or didnt call back. So I guess it wasnt important enough to call me. So I just sit in the silents and wonder some more.
Make me or Break me.....its how Im living at the moment. One day at a time. Moment by Moment....Lost and So freakin confused.......Which leads me to be so freakin PISSED OFF!
I wished I had something NEW to say and something NEW to tell ya about my world. But I dont.....same shit different day!
Have a good one!
Hey if ya cant be good...Be good at it!!
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Try and fuck me.....I have back up now!!
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Posted:May 2, 2007 6:28 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2007 6:01 am
2670 Views
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Hello Hump Day!
Well if things couldnt get more hectic around here. But Im proudly to say....I have my best friend [blog fallinstrgazer] living here with me....AGAIN!
With my madness and the shit with my I thought I was headed for a nervous breakdown. and I knew Fallin wasnt happy where she was. and I NEEDED her here. So I sent for her, it may have cost me 60 bucks. But it was a 60 bucks WELL WORTH IT!
I Love this woman and always will. She is everything to me......I just dont know what Im going to do with her, now that I have her here, back with me.
All I do know is I needed her and she needs me and NOW we are back together, in this here Crazy Crazy world we live in.
So for updates.....It has been quiet, I havent heard anything from my or my mom and dad. I feel like Im living the calm before the storm. The storm will hit one of these days and its going to pour, pour, pour! and Really hoping I make it through it. But if my has her way about it....I WONT!......We will have to see who's the better woman. and Because of Pride and being the person I AM.....I will walk away before I slam her....Its just a Mothers Love I guess. Some words are left unspoken, than said!
As for the other problem I have....*C* is still in jail. I talked to him yesterday and he still hasnt seen his lawyer. and *C* cusses his lawyer everyday he sits in there. He missing business that he was trying to built. and Now all he does is sit, I hope it dont take to much away from his business, but who knows.
I have been told that *C* has the best criminal lawyer for the northwest of this state. I just sit and wonder, WHY in the HELL hasnt he went and seen *C*. I want my BABY home!.....Oh well I guess I get to sit and wait alittle longer!
One of these days I will have *C* back into my life to hold, kiss and cuddle. and When he calls me his BRAT. He knows what comes next.
God I LOVE HIM SO FREAKIN MUCH!!
Well ya'll have a Great Hump Day!
My life WILL get BETTER!..............Some day!!
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To link to this blog (rm_DarknStar) use [blog rm_DarknStar] in your messages.
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