A lot of frustration here.....
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Posted:Jun 2, 2008 11:02 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 12:38 am
3200 Views
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I am getting very disappointed in my time on this site. Frustrated yes. I still think that I have possibilities out there, although I am beginning to believe that this whole lifestyle thing is for couples only. Troubling question is: how can you become a couple without starting single? How can this be? It seems that single white male is just not in demand, or at least in the category that I am in. The single women are always the ones wanted, by couples or singles. What gives? I am just as good as they are, sometimes(dare I say it) better than most. Doesn't anyone want to see how a Harley rides before having to settle for a Suzuki? Is it the area I live in? I am not far from Indy, yet the Indy women seem to not want a man from out of town. Bullshit. Try driving from Castleton to Plainfield it will still be the same amount of time traveled from where I am to nearly any side of Marion County. Indy women aren't alone with this refusal of good quality men from out of town. I travel alot. Yes it's expensive now, but damnit, if the woman doesn't see themselves worthy enough to encourage me to travel to see them with the probability of a great hookup being about 90%, then that's on them. If I am ugly to them or not tall enough or something, a simple email courteously declining would do. I am worth telling what was "the deal breaker." I travel alot, so distance isn't an issue. Patience with me traveling there is and should be, unless you want something regular, nearly everyday. If so, don't say you want "no strings attached" when you want that string. Yes ladies, sorry to break it to you, but it is a string. But no worries, if that is what you want, I speak for myself and say "ok." Who wouldn't want to have a regular woman in their lives that pleases and likes to please and be pleased. I just think that maybe I am living in the wrong area. But I do travel, so what difference could that make? This is what frustrates me.
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If you are interested.....
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Posted:Apr 10, 2006 2:50 am
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2006 2:57 am
3374 Views
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Ok, I am now very terribly frustrated and would really like some companionship, so I am posting this as an attempt that someone, anyone might look and give us both a break. I would appreciate some adult company this weekend starting on Thursday April 13 through Sunday if possible. I have a gig on Thursday and Friday, one possibly on Saturday, and would like some adult companionship. I know we both will have some fun, but you'll never know unless you contact me or post a comment here or both. Post a comment and that might work but please lets get together. Who knows, it may be great for both of us.
Hope to see alot of you soon.
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Fuck, Fuck,, Fuckity Fuck Fuck
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Posted:Mar 2, 2006 2:17 am
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2006 3:11 am
3542 Views
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Ok, this is very discouraging. I hate this site and from the amount of response and the types of responses I have recieved it's no wonder why I have gone from a positive viewing man to a very cynical negative bastard.
I have had patience, but I have ran out of time. This site is so sucky, so full of fake profiles I can't understand why I am still here. I am sick of the lying and cheating and bogus ads, but I am very sick of the promises of meeting and the subsequent stand-ups.
Look ladies, unlike the majority of you, I AM REAL. I have a real life, a real career and a real dick that works very well thank you very much! I have real feelings too, but like you have been so apt to show me on great techniques on how to be fake or kill feelings or just not give a fuck anymore about anyone including myself, I am turning myself into a machine. A machine that just doesn't give a fuck what happens to anyone, including myself. I don't care anymore, not at all.
It seems that I am not compatible with anyone, that my dreams and feelings do not matter as they do not amount to anything. I don't understand how life can be so cruel that no one would care out there about me. This world is a very cynical one, one that thrives on failure in every way, life or love. I hope they enjoy this, because I'm not. It is so not me, but I'm done.
I was a goldmine for a woman to have in many ways, but it seems Indiana women don't know what quality is even if it was so close it hit them right in the face. What's so wrong is even the lesser quality women don't want better, so they go off with scum that are lacking in and out of the bedroom, but they settle. Guys like me are hard to find, probably because we finish last.
Well, I'm sick and tired of being good. It's time to be bad and let the world know how fucking terrible it really is. No one reads this bullshit I type, so when shit happens they will never know why, because no one cared to read it, chat or try to stop me. It ain't right that others are happy when I'm not. If that's life, I don't want to live.
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On the road again, this time in lovely Hammond Indiana
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Posted:Feb 24, 2006 8:53 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3427 Views
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Got a fight tonight in Hammond with a great card, so it should be fun tonight. But again, I am alone on the road with no companionship. If any woman wants to hang out or hook up or whatever, come to the fight and see me at ringside, tell me your screenname or get ahold of me and I will check for messages before I head to the venue so leave a comment if ya wanna. It would blow my mind (hopefully more things too) if ya did that!>>! 
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By the way
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Posted:Feb 13, 2006 11:32 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2008 11:08 am
3560 Views
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I hope you jackoffs out there have a happy fucking valentines day and choke on your own heart shaped mints. This is suicide to have a holiday like this and be without someone, even as a fuck buddy. This is BULLSHIT! Fuck You All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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White Flag
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Posted:Feb 13, 2006 11:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3468 Views
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I give up. I can't find a woman that is sexually comparitive and comesuerate to me. She ain't out there folks. If I sound frustrated, I am. I had 2, get this, 2 women off the internet from a chat room(not on this site, but it is in indiana room #4 and the nework is the one that begins with a Y) who came to a gig, got a hotel room and basically only wanted to be "friends." Ok, friends is ok, but life is short now with me.
Not to be cynical, but they aren't even living close to me, let alone wanted to play. Not that kind of friends. Nice girls, but the one I was really interested in and had potential said she wasn't into "dating" anyone right now....after I find out she met up with an ex for some oral action 4 days after we met. I know I am not Brad Pitt or Vin Diesel, but god damn it all to hell! I am not into the trolls that seem to be in abundance that are as ugly inside as they act in public. The women out there that are pretty on the outside are by far, hideous on the inside for about 75% of them. The women that I seek, sexually charged and beautiful on the inside and outside, are stuck in abusive relationships with loser guys with no future, no potential or are "just not dating," but will get drunk and blow a more homlier internet geek.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
I realize now the hard fact that there is no hope for me. I have ran out of time on my search. I guess I was supposed to pay for it like the other golddiggers that came along.
WHY ARE ALL WOMEN THAT POST ON THIS INTERnet SITE EITHER FAKE OR NOT REAL ENOUGH TO MEET?
I wonder if gay men have this much trouble finding a date?
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Not really a Happy New Year
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Posted:Jan 19, 2006 6:43 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3441 Views
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Happy New Year…or is it? Since I last posted, I got a rude awakening about things. I have lost faith in just about every and anything. I refuse to go to church because I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I met a nice woman that just wouldn’t believe me when I told her she was beautiful or pretty. She wouldn’t even progress her feelings for me as time went on. Not to fall out of love, but not even approach it. I now know that it is impossible for me to find someone in the lifestyle, to make that journey with me. Someone that will be there and be with me, someone that she says will “fit” with me. I thought we were meaningful, and funny thing is, if it’s funny at all, we didn’t cheat on each other or anything bad like that. She had a lot of great traits. I would actually enjoy reuniting with her but that in reality looks like a non-issue now. I have been out of a relationship that was meaningful for about a year and a half. I just want someone to make that journey with me. She has internal issues about herself and she is getting help with those issues, but they don’t allow her to move on in relationships. I care but I can’t help her. I myself had a shortfall if you want to call it that. I started drinking again. I ended up not getting drunk on NYE and no hangover, but I did control it. I am having second thoughts that I was even an alcoholic at all. I just know that when I drink, I will never drive. But after reviewing this whole thing, if I drive anywhere, I am the designated driver and I won’t be drinking. I value my freedom too much. I just hope there is someone out there that I can be with that will go through the lifestyle with me. There are a few women out there that I wouldn’t mind carrying on a relationship with, but I can’t and won’t cheat. I will go on, but I don’t think I will find what I am looking for, really. She doesn’t exist, or if she does, she’s married.
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Ok, what's going on
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Posted:Sep 22, 2005 2:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3509 Views
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Not much happening, going up to Merrillville the 29th and 30th. Still looking for the one. Found out my ex was furious over my encounter with Tonya Harding. Yep, the ex figure skater is now 155lbs and boxing as a pro. Not bad, but she is still cute and has a great body too. We met and spent some time together. Met Butterbean too.
I wish I could get a reality show and have cameras follow me for a coulple months. I was told by a few people that I gotta do that. So, I gotta find out how you get to get a reality show. I mean, I do have a career, and a dream, actually 2. I think people would tune in and watch just to see where I am at one week and what all happens when I go out on a date or something like that, culminating at the end if I get the hollywood ending that everyone wants in life. If I get a big career move or not, if my ex girlfriend's is my or not, if I get to take a dna test or not, if my ex will let me take the test or not, if I get a woman or not, things like that. Try to make a story that people would be cheering for the end that they wanted. And hopefully, some righteous bucks will end up my way. If anyone knows, hey tell me here real soon.
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well hell, nothing going on
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Posted:Aug 25, 2005 10:12 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3581 Views
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I just described in chat what my ideal woman was: Beautiful inside and outside, good hygeine, shaven, has black lace teddies and fishnet stockings to wear to bed when we play, honest and trustworthy and trusting, one that if we were in the lifestyle, I wouldn't worry about her cheating on me and we'd go through it all together. I am looking for that woman. But, I don't think she exists. So I think that I might go into the military and get away from it all. I figure I should go do something that I might make an impact on the world because it seems I can't make an impact on anyones life. So I go tomorrow to enlist.
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Ok, a sexy new development in my life,.....we'll title this as "The Hunt for the elusive #6"
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Posted:Aug 24, 2005 12:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3912 Views
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Ok, so, I thought I would post this, but I have hopes, and I am hopeful, but I guess still cautious about it. So, here it goes for the whole world to see.
I met woman. A younger woman about 15 years my junior. After talking extensively to her on the phone, I went to where she was working(at her request, certainly not mine) on Monday evening/Tuesday morning, so that would be yesterday. I hadn't had sex in about a near month, so I was cautious about getting my hopes up, as well as something else ! This was after I got an old pic of her via email and I in turn sent her mine. She is going through a divorce and states that there really is no turning back on it, that her marriage is over. I told her the lifestyle I was in, and she seems to be of the opinion that it really isn't me, but she is intrigued by the fact that this sort of thing exists, which was the same way how I felt when I was a newbie. She would like to go, but is slightly apprehensive. I have the "try it, you'll like it" attitude, but for now, I'm gonna give it a rest.
The big point I need to make now is I met this girl on a chat line in based in Indy, not off of this site, which is still backing up my general belief that women on this site are fake or the profiles are and in some cases, both the women and the profile are fake. The trouble is that she doesn't live in Indy, rather she lives about 90 minutes south of me, south of Indy, in another area code. Distance, with gas prices as they are now, may start to be a factor, but I am trying to budget it. She is very nice, seems to have her head on straight, smart and I am trying very hard to trust her as she is honest, but something she said about her was very troubling that was sending off some flags.
It was what she told me how much she weighed. Her story flipped from having a flat stomach to saying she has a larger belly. Then it was how big her tits were and the proportion between them and her stomach. Then the issue of the rest of her weight. From the time we talked to when we met her weight went from 180 to 225. When I met her in person, without going to the scales, she looked like more than 225. Again, I think she was doing this to not scare me off. Being deceptive is starting to push me away. She's not unattractive (she's big though), and I don't exactly know what a trophy girl is, but she is beginning to make me believe that a trophy wife is what I am looking for. This is causing me some confusion, alot of it. She is not a trophy girl. I want a woman to be honest with me, not evasive. It is this type of deception that is bothering me. If it sounds superficial, than that is me. I want a woman that is as beautiful inside as she is outside.
As for what the encounter was, I couldn't have been more pleased. She shaved her pussy and all over prior to meeting and was very hygeinic, which I really respected as well as appreciated. It was her kissing that was big for me. She kissed the way how I wanted to be kissed: wet, deep, full of passion, touching the very soul. I couldn't help but be aroused. And all this was on the front porch of where she worked! We went inside to take it a bit further and then I found out she wasn't bragging about her oral skills....she is one of the few to back it up.
Normally, it takes some skill to get me off orally, with only 5 women in my lifetime only able to get me off without having intercourse. Thinking back, I believe that those women, 2 of which I ended up marrying, were the only ones with true skill or patience rather than the issue being me. I guess I offered a challenge and still do, but this girl was exhibiting some skill and I was benefitting from it. The pre-cum was going and like a tank, I was loaded with a shell ready to blast. Had she continued a minute or two more, she would have been number 6 and I would have blasted a load in her mouth and impregnate her tonsils!!
But she stopped and inferred to me to back up what I had been bragging about: my cunniligual skills. Again, as always, I backed up my words, rather my TOUNGUE backed up my words. And she wanted me to finger her as well, so I had to pick up the pace a bit and let my "fingers do the walking" technique. She loved that and after only a few minutes "working under the hood" as I say, she came and muffled her moans so as not to awaken anyone in the house. Again, I talked the talk and walked the walk. After trying missionary for minute, we got into doggie-style on the couch and after a tempting notion to do anal, I passed and then tried a different approach for regular vaginal sex. Mid-way through as I was hitting her g-spot just right, she clamped down on my cock with her strong pussy muscles. It was then she told me she keagaled and had her only by c-section. In a word, her snatch was tight!! After a couple of squeezes, I came.
I got louder than I should have and we both pulled up our pants and went outside so she could smoke. She had a thing for keeping our clothes on in case someone woke up. After kissing more on the front porch and talking some more, I told her I wasn't done yet and pulled out my cock, pulling her pants down partially and trying to fuck her on the front porch. That wasn't gonna go, so we went back to the couch and proceeded to pick up where we left off. I was stroking her real long but at a quick pace because she was thinking that someone would wake up in the house we were at, as her shift was nearing it's end. I got so turned on by the excitement of possibly getting caught, at her work nonetheless, that we were really fucking hot, hard and fast. Thrust after thrust I went for minutes on end. I unloaded a shot of nut juice deep inside her. But I still was hard and still was thrusting inside her, just pumping away because I wasn't nearly done with her yet!! But, she then decided we should stop before awakening anyone. After a few minutes on the porch talking and kissing some more, I left and headed back to Anderson.
She wanted me to come back the next night, I told her I couldn't but we talk on the phone quite a bit. I would like to take her to the Klub on Friday, but I kinda want to see where this whole thing is going. But at least for the moment, I have a girlfriend or a fuck buddy at the very least. But there is potential for more and I admire her for alot of things. But I can't wait for her to fulfill her promise that she would be #6.
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Back in Black
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Posted:Aug 16, 2005 2:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3567 Views
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I used to wear alot of different colors in my wardrobe. It seems without someone special in my life, there is no color in my world. It's a very dark place and it's one that I don't like being in, but it is what it is. I am dressing in black for the rest of my gigs. I feel empty and with no life, but I don't know what to do. It's easy to say something but not easy to do, especially when you are the doer. So I'm stuck in a dark empty place, wearing black.
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Another Day, another round of emptiness..............
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Posted:Aug 15, 2005 3:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3378 Views
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I get disappointed on a daily basis it seems, and when outsiders say "If you keep being down, you'll always see down." I got news for those outside looking in on me: It is very hard to see up when you are practically face down. I don't like it, but don't know how to look up anymore. I get disappointed with people who promise and don't deliver. I know we are human, but damn people, don't promise what you will not provide.
Sorry, but I can't see positive anymore, and before you snap with an attitude remark, let me pre-empt you with a thought: If you are drowning in a sea of dispair and can't swim, how can you possibly survive when someone who doesn't even know how to tread water tells you you need to learn how to swim(while you're drowning right in front of their eyes) or they throw you a brick for you to float with? My so-called family did that today. At least my mother got to see her grand-. I didn't. I helped bring her into this world, so I guess my job is over now. I mean, my mother doesn't care, just as long as she gets to reap the benefits. She's the one that throws the masonry. Funny thing is, she doesn't care, just as long as she can tell her neighbors and friends that she tried to "help." How can you possibly call it help when you do more harm then good? Her ways make Dr. Kervorkian look like an amatuer. It's shit like this, plus my nightmares, that keep me up all night, just like I am right now. I want it all to stop. If I could just sleep and not dream or have good dreams with no nightmares, I would be set in that regard. Hopefully it would help everything else.
I have been let down by so many people lately that really, I can't trust anyone now. I've heard "Don't hate the player, hate the game." If love and life are a game, then it should take a lesson from the NHL. The players moderately deliver what they are supposed to and get way too much credit for shit they don't do. And sorry folks, but it's true in life as well: the bad guys always win. Maybe I should be one of them. But one thing is certain.
The game needs to end.
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I can't do this anymore
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Posted:Aug 1, 2005 1:42 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3294 Views
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I can't handle the fact that my ex is personally attacking me and knowingly hurting me. She has a guy to get over me, but I can't seem to match up to defend myself about it. It's one thing to be over someone, but you can't be over when they are emotionally killing you via the internet. My only wish was for her to be happy, but thats' not good enough for her obviously. So it ends at all the cost to me. I never thought someone would be so cruel when she posted it on that site.
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To link to this blog (joelbert) use [blog joelbert] in your messages.
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