Why bother resisting what you know you want
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Posted:Feb 29, 2020 1:46 pm
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2020 2:45 pm
25597 Views
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I absolutely did not want to sleep with him. We were practically strangers The timing was wrong I was willing to communicate with him But I wasn’t ready to go home with him But he coaxed and cajoled and called to me with this primal yell that said “get over here before I come and drag you” So I went to him Allowing him to touch and tease and kiss and stroke and fondle until he took me to the point of no return It was only then that he disrobed When I was beyond all resistance When I no longer had the desire to be reasonable Then I could feel his hardness pressing into my thigh I could feel the pre-cum On my hand when I touched him He resumed touching me but made no move to go further Impressing upon me that I did really want him That I had been wrong to try to resist him Finally, he hovered over me. His cock resting just beyond my now eager pussy I tried to maneuver him But he resisted me until I was all but begging him to take me Finally he filled me Sliding into my wetness Claiming me for his own Taking what he needed but giving too The night wore on and ended with repeat performances My only regret was in not going to him sooner
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7
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I had my doubts
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Posted:Feb 28, 2020 5:38 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2020 4:11 pm
23539 Views
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Not every detail needs to be written. It’s not important to know that he grabbed me the hand, led me to the mirror, and stood close behind me with his arms wrapped around me as he pointed out all the things he thought were beautiful about me. It’s not important to tell you that we stood there until I was willing to accept there was beauty to be seen. But these things set the tone the evening. I told him I deserved a back rub having to put up with such torture, and I kicked off shoes, took off shirt, laid down on the bed and was as comfortable with him as someone I’ve known for a lifetime, though we didn’t know each other at all. The details of the sex weren’t important, either. I’m not going to explain who put what where and how it tasted or felt though I will say it was pretty damn good.
But what was important is that someone found me desirable even though I believed it would never happen again. It’s important to know that nipples are fun to play with and body is worthy of attention and pussy still stays sopping wet and that a man didn’t just want to fuck me and leave but fucked me once, twice, and a third time, though I didn’t think I had the power to entice anyone even once anymore. And it’s absolutely important to know that I am capable of being exposed and naked and fondled and kissed and stroked and pleased and pleasing because I thought those days had come and gone, but maybe they’re just getting started. And maybe as I delve deeper into own hidden desires the stories will become worthy of being written.
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9
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At Home That Night
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Posted:Feb 23, 2020 8:15 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2024 10:29 am
16206 Views
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I have flashbacks of that night. Some of the moments were breathtaking and some were awkward. I knew early on I wanted to touch you. I remembered asking if I could help you rub the soreness of your neck and shoulder. You obliged, and there were those minutes where I sat behind you, longing to place my hands on your bare skin but satisfied enough to touch you through your shirt. It was a ploy to get you to touch me back...would it work? Time would tell. So much yet so little happened in the space of an hour. I smile at the reminder of seeing you turn your perfect little ass from me as you grabbed your rope. From my vantage point on my knees, I was at eye level. You sure know how to fill your jeans. But my favorite part, the one that makes my heart melt, is the remembrance of how I was kneeling before you as you sat back in your seat. My hands were resting on your thighs. Even through the thick material, I could feel your strength and your heat. And you didn’t stop me. You didn’t tell me I couldn’t touch you. You didn’t tell me my hands belonged at my sides or behind my back. For as long as I kneeled there, my hands were touching you. And they’ve never felt more at home.
It’s those things, those moments with you that I long to recreate and replicate. I long to see you again. More than I expected. I want to pursue all my fantasies and longings. I want you to allow me to put my hands all over your body. I want to feel that sense of belonging and of being at home with you.
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The New Car Challenge
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Posted:Feb 20, 2020 7:39 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2020 3:39 am
14680 Views
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I bought a car last week as many of you know. In the midst of negotiations and deciding what I wanted, I also chatted with someone, who knew where I was and took great delight in making me blush and giggle (yes, I still giggle like a little girl; it’s adorable). I am not a blusher, though, so my hat’s off to him for his skill. One of the things he said to me was that I should celebrate my new car by taking pics for him...maybe one with the girls free and atop the steering wheel. Really? Me? Do that? Have you not noticed there are no nudes of me anywhere?
I did make a fully clothed video for him of me talking about the fact that I could not make it work logistically and what I could do as a substitute. While he thought the video was cute, it was not what he wanted, so he sent me back to try again. He gave me pointers on how to make it work. With this ever increasing desire to please him, I put on my best red lipstick, took off my shirt, and went to my car. I pushed the seat back, climbed in, started recording, and knelt in the front seat as he suggested. I could not make it work still, though I now know for certain the horn works. What ensued was a recording of me playing with my wayward tits, stimulating my nipples, and laughing at the ridiculousness of the the situation, as I tried to make my large breasts cooperate in a compact car. I was all the more pleased with myself because in spite of my failure, I knew I would amuse him and cause him to smile.
I thought I would delete the video as soon as I sent it to him. I’ve since decided to keep it. I could do without the images, but the sound of my voice and my own amusement are captured in a minute of carefree woman- delight, which cannot occur often enough.
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2
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If I Had The Words
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Posted:Feb 18, 2020 11:02 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2020 2:28 am
14068 Views
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If I had the words I would tell you How you somehow captured my imagination on that very first day How it didn’t even take meeting you to know I was bound for trouble If I had the words I’d tell you that I think about you daily I wonder if you are somewhere safe If you’re happy If you’re giving your attentions to someone else And if you ever think about me If I had the words I would ask you to come back To hurry To not linger any longer on adventures in the world But to instead embark on a new one with me If I had the words I’d tell you that I long to explore with you To kiss your lips To taste your body To listen to you breathe To feel your hands touching me To have you fill me with your own need If I had the words I would tell you that I know it makes no sense But I need you in my life But I don’t have the words All I have is the feeling The ever growing feeling That I may never see you again That I am destined to feel this ache inside me That began the moment you first spoke to me And doesn’t seem to dissipate with time or distance or silence from you.
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2
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Different Paths and New Things
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Posted:Feb 17, 2020 5:17 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2020 6:42 pm
13826 Views
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I bought a new car yesterday. I went to the dealership with specific ideas in mind, yet I wound up with something I hadn’t planned on buying. The biggest departure is the color. I absolutely wanted a blue car. I always want blue. Everything I have is blue. Blue eyes, blue glasses, lots of blue clothing, a blue head, and my car I left behind was blue. This car is gray...there are hints of blue, but it’s gray. However, I walked on my back porch to look down at my car this morning and smiled. It’s not what I expected, but it’s absolutely beautiful just the .
I think the biggest thing I’m dealing with in the afterglow/buyer’s remorse mixture at the moment is that I let someone lead me in a direction, and I followed. I was given key information that was designed to turn me on, and I think I forgot all the things I thought I wanted. What does that say about me? It’s an internal struggle I’m having. I want to be in control of everything, but I want to experience things that take away my control. I want to satisfy my own immediate needs and wants and have always been stubbornly resistant to anyone else’s input about what would be good for me, even if I would benefit from this information. Yet, suddenly I’m finding myself wanting to allow myself the luxury and pleasure of letting someone else be in control to satisfy me even if his methods would have never been my own.
So, today I have a new car. It’s not blue, but it’s beautiful just the , and I have a world of experience ahead of me that might not be what I expected, but it will be beautiful just the .
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4
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This could take a while. ;)
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Posted:Feb 12, 2020 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2020 3:17 am
13758 Views
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I want you to come here and teach me everything you know. Your mind is brilliant and exciting Your thoughts are rare I’m honored to be in your presence But be certain I am listening and learning My mind wanders to your beauty When I should be focused on your knowledge instead Quiz me for understanding Test me for comprehension Challenge me for depth I want to be with you where you are to have my limits stretched My boundaries expanded I want to learn everything you have to offer Be patient with me as I grow As I struggle to be the best I can be Your capacity seems limitless Share with me your knowledge Help me to be a better me Teach me everything you know
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3
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Trying to figure me out
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Posted:Feb 12, 2020 4:10 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2020 7:22 pm
12572 Views
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I have said it in passing in my typical flippant manner, but maybe it’s the truth... I want someone to dominate me so I don’t have to control anything. I just want to be there experiencing but not forcing for a change. In my daily world, I make every decision for everyone. My brain is tired. Beyond tired. Maybe for once I don’t want to have to tell anyone what should happen or how to please me. I want someone to watch me and study me and figure it out and then pick me up, carry me to the safest place he knows and then tease me, torture me with my own desires, and take me at his leisure. I am a conundrum to myself. I don’t want to submit. I want to be dominated into submission to where even the decision to submit has been made for me. I want to love it for how much I hate it. I want to find excitement and sheer pleasure in how unnerved it makes me. I want to squirm and yearn and quiver in my delight but also in my lack of control.
This I promise, though. It isn’t going to be easy for all my acquiescence. I will be a brat. I will tell you to go fuck yourself somehow, someway. I will make you want to kill me even as your heart reaches out to me and you can’t take your eyes from my pretty face.
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2
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Always the fat lady, never the bride
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Posted:Feb 11, 2020 5:45 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2020 4:13 pm
12348 Views
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So I’m going to be honest right here and say that while I have the desire to get my eating disorder recovery back on track, I haven’t had the motivation or the energy. It is difficult to be as hyper vigilant as I need to be about my recovery process and still manage to work, laugh, play, and breathe.
However, there are two things occurring simultaneously that have helped to ignite my inner motivational fire. The first is that I can’t seem to get fucked for anything these days. The second is that my and her boyfriend are looking at engagement rings. I cannot be the fat mother of the bride. I refuse to be the fat mother of the bride. The day will of course be all about her. I have no desire to steal the show or upstage her, but if I have to be present for all of the preparation and the parties and the joy and the laughter, then I also don’t want to do anything to shame or humiliate either her or myself throughout the entire process. She is my best friend, and I am super proud of her and want her to be proud of me, too. Besides, I have every intention of staying sober and still managing to take home one of the groomsman.
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3
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The Highs and Lows
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Posted:Feb 10, 2020 8:12 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2020 7:23 pm
12705 Views
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The internet allows you to get close to people you might not have otherwise met. Windows of correspondence come from every corner of the world. Through these tiny windows, people enter your living rooms and bedrooms. They share your laughter, your tears, your bed. They become a part of who you are, leading you in directions you would have never expected to take. They become a part of your journey, taking on meaningful roles in your life. Sometimes they become the fabric of your entire being. But other times, they disappear. Even though their role is not complete you, they’ve satisfied whatever longing existed in them. They are ready move to on, and often do so without a proper goodbye. These moments become the highs and lows of an otherwise static existence. Sometimes l wish I never found you. You led me to the lowest of the lows. Yet, I know in heart it is because you first took me to the highest of the highs. And that, I can only truly be grateful and nothing more.
Altered
The internet allows you to get close to people you might not have otherwise met. Windows of correspondence come from every corner of the world. People enter your living rooms and bedrooms through these tiny windows with bewildering deftness. They share your laughter, your tears, your bed. They become a part of who you are, leading you in directions you would have never expected to take. They become a part of your journey, taking on meaningful roles in your life. Sometimes they become the fabric of your entire being. But other times, they disappear with almost the same deftness but the ache and the longing they leave behind. Even though their role is not complete for you, they’ve satisfied whatever longing existed in them. They are ready to move on, and often do so without a proper goodbye. These moments become the highs and lows of an otherwise static existence. Sometimes l wish I never found you. You led me to the lowest of the lows. Yet, I know in my heart it is because you first took me to the highest of the highs. For that, I can only truly be grateful and nothing more.
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6
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Empty packages
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Posted:Feb 7, 2020 9:19 pm
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2020 3:03 pm
11560 Views
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*Disclaimer* it’s not the being married that hurts so much. Everyone needs affection sometimes,. No, it’s that they lie about it and make fools of everyone involved.
It's not fair Not fair at all When these married men hit on me When they want to take what they can from me Never able to offer their best in return they never understand That though they're convinced Their penis alone makes them God's gift to the world It's a gift wrapped box Filled with nothing There's no comfort No companionship No safe harbor There's no friendship No meaning No purpose All of that belongs to another Like the contents of a box A box that has been emptied, gift wrapped, handed over to a woman who would rather have the contents Than a pretty package
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Longing
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Posted:Feb 7, 2020 11:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2020 7:18 pm
11638 Views
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Ask about my day I yearn to kneel before you as you listen to me speak As you get to know me As you watch me with eyes of intensity Talk to me Hear what I have to say I’m starved for your attention Feed my soul with your questions Replenish my body with your responses I crave your touch But even more than that, I ache to feel your mind connected to mine I long for you to draw nearer to my soul
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2
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Stroking
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Posted:Feb 4, 2020 3:56 pm
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2020 5:56 pm
11761 Views
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My friend sent me a video of himself stroking. Normally I’m not a fan. I want it in the room with me, not hundreds or thousands of miles away. And stroking seems like such a waste anyway. We don’t need your hand on your cock. It’s mine! Mine to play with. Mine to arouse. Mine to fuck. Mine to get off on. I’m a greedy one. But this video was sexy as hell. I’ve watched it a dozen times so far with a delighted smile on my face. But it’s not so much him stroking that appeals to me. I mean, that’s sexy, too, seeing his hand wrapped around that fat cock, glistening with warming oil. But it’s more than that. I see him going from recording his play to his face as he looks into the phone screen, calls me by name, and tells me that if he doesn’t make it to see me, I’m going to have to come to him. Like I said, it’s mine. He knows it. I know it. We both know that one day soon his fat cock is going to make its way to my tight little pussy, and I’m going to ride it like I’ve been straddling him my entire life.
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4
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