I love it when that happens!
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Posted:Jun 8, 2017 8:57 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:10 am
59353 Views
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Blast from the past. I love it when that happens!
Just like busses, wait for one for ages, then 4 turn up at once! Not that I ever wait for one, but some times they turn out nice.
Blast from the past 1
I recently met a man! Last month. Oh yeah, I do that sometimes as well. This guy, we call him John for now, is a guy who I worked with for 14 years up to 5 years ago, but only through the phone, and I had never met him! We never had a problem, never fell out.
He is an employment agency consultant, but not the director. The middle man if you like. Customers requiring my services, or similar, call him and ask for some one. He then sees details, like where the job is, who lives near, or who would be more suitable for the job and makes the call.
There have been many guys like that in my past, I worked for agencies as a temporary worker by choice, for far too many years, ( I live in London remember? ) and whoever let's me down just the once, never gets a second chance.
It is my way of guaranteeing shit don't happen on my working life. Yeah, agreed, I shoot myself on the foot when I tell them to eff off, but it is also ensuring it never happens again. So, 6 of this and half a dozen of the other!
Anyway, a few years ago there was a sneaky builder who wanted something for nothing, and to cut a long story short I was ending up 200 pounds short. One of John's directors got involved with that saga, as it was his lead, and after a lot of discussion, offered to meet me half way, and give me a 100.
I probably had made almost half a million from all their leads, in the last 20 years I was working for them as well as others, but that is just a number! Principles! PRINCIPLES, I say again, people, excuse the shouting! Only because I was not supported by him, when I was claiming I did nothing wrong, erm, ended up telling him I would never work on one of his own jobs again. Again, living in London allows me to be as selective as I wish, for a self employed man.
But I continued to work on all John's jobs, as he had not ever let me down. Only the very particular jobs though, as faster, younger people are coming in. The eternal question of speed against experience....at work! I have not spoken to John for 5 years. No leads! These guys can take a different set of responsibilities in their office, as years go by, and John went upward and was not dealing with people like me anymore.
Well John, recently wanted some work done on his own house, and guess whom he called? Really makes me feel so special! These guys know and deal with a million of others. When time calls for the best, my phone rings! I am even smiling as I type this! I finally met John! Nothing like I imagined, just much better. Even had a barbie in my honour when I finished. Such a great guy, and we have rekindled the old relationship.... looking forward to the next million! I love it when that happens!
Blast 2
Some other agency I worked in the past and told them to ef off, has just been bought from another company. All new people. How do I know this? Someone just rung me and I bagged myself another nice job, on a main London terminal!
I love it when that happens!
Blast 3
Came home yesterday and there was a letter with my name on it from the last mortgage lender I used 10 years ago, informing me that my ex is trying to claim back PPI ( some sort of insurance, miss sold at times ) from them, and how they do not agree. It was a joint mortgage and they can see I am on a different address, and know I am divorced. Can not see the reason they write to me! Still, nice of the ex trying to reclaim some of "our" money, it's just that I had no news of it, or share out offers!!! May be she was going to surprise me with a nice pressie on the upcoming fathers day. Or may be...Once a thief...
Looks like she is getting nothing anyway. I love it when that happens!
Blast 4
In the last few months two of my old friends, from when I had my break from here 7 years ago, have visited my blog! Just_Tracy and Papyrina. They were both bloggers so you might have heard of them. They never left a comment or said hello. They are not on here these days, as members or bloggers, you know, that period when some leave this place alone. I do not mind them at all saying nothing. I am really happy, in the knowledge that they are still around, on some corner of this planet. And somehow they seen their old friend's blog been active again and visited. They did not need to say anything. They already send me down that rosy path filled with nice thoughts, memories and laughs anyway. I hope they are happy whatever they are up to. I love it when that happens!
And a couple of funnies
Principles
Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
Therefore every day, I go down on the street and tell the passer by what I have eaten, how I feel,
what I have done the night before, and what I will do after, I give them pictures of my wife, my ,
my and me gardening and spending time in my pool.
I also listen to their conversations and I tell them I love them.
And it works :
I already have 3 persons following me; 2 police officers and a psychiatrist
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For the ex
The Divorced Barbie Doll
One day a father gets out of work and
on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his 's
birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How
much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson
answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for
$19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco
Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for
$19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It's what?!
Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The annoyed salesperson rolls her
eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's
Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of
Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.
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The Boss
A secretary comes in late for work for the third day in a row,
so her boss calls her into his office.
"Look, Sharon, " he says irritably. "I
know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over.
I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee
around here. Who told you that, just because we had an affair,
you could come and go as you please around here?"
Sharon lights up a cigarette and says, "My lawyer."
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The Contest
A guy and a girl are having sex when they both say, "I'm
really hungry and thirsty too''. It was freakin' freezing
outside so they both have an argument over who should
go get the food and drink. After a while they decide to have a contest. Whoever can
come up with the best poem would be the one to stay in bed. They both think for a while when the guy says, "Okay,
I got one. Two times two is four plus five is nine, I can pee in yours but you can't pee in mine". So the girl thinks for a minute and says, "Okay two times
two is four plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you'll
never know the depth of mine."
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20
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#31st Symposium Usernames
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Posted:Jun 5, 2017 9:26 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:10 am
50050 Views
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How did we pick our usernames.
There are plenty of blog posts with the same subject, including one of mine from a few months back, on this interesting topic.
For some people a username may not be an important factor. Not as important as lets say a nice picture or profile.
But some usernames have their own hints in them. I think for most of us they show a small bit of the person, who and what they want to be on here, the way they intent to use this place. A little flash of their mind at the time. A tiny insight.
We are all reminded every so often by someone, that this is "a sex site". And of course we all use this place as we wish. Some use something sexy, suggestive, or even crude for a username. Others opt for none of the sexy stuff, and use fantasy, wishful thinking, their current mood, something that is going on in their life, a trait of their character, something they enjoy, looking for, or something totally random.
I think they all offer an insight to the users mind. A very small first step, I admit, but all great journeys started with a little step at the right direction. Oh yes, the last sentence only stands for when I am not looking at makemecry, pissonmymouth, longdic, longerdic, greekdic, wettestpus, and some others I may see on here. I don't think that journey would be a great one! I hope there are no real profiles with any of the names I just used. If they are, erm, apologies for the mention, and yeah, good luck with that!
My first username here was greekdickinyou,   Please don't ask! Been young and imature at 42, those were the days! Changed it about 3 weeks later to my current one. I kept the "Greek" because why not? Friends often confused my square logic, the way I think and the things I come up with for some philosophical thought, while it was attempted as a simple comment at the time, maybe just a bit deeper than they expected, and "philosopher" soon stuck with me.
Pssst, I am not a real philosopher!!! Sometimes, just a practical thinker, and when I am not pickling my brain with various poisons...
Oh, as this is a sex site, I wanted to use something sexy too!
Here are some of my old usernames from other internet places I used to be and I can remember
Alfabetamale
Diamond Geezer
Phil1
Phil33
Philosopher
Sikoseto ( tittle of a footie anthem from 2004 when the Greeks won the Euro cup )
Peterpanos
Princepeterpanosthe1st, a combo of fantasy for prince,
reality for the boy who never grew up and my own name as I am known by some for peterpanos,
and wishful thinking for the 1st, as in 1 only! In the whole wide world!
Random usernames? Random larfs too!
Philosopher
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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Judging Others
An elephant asked a camel, 'Why are your breasts on your back?'
'Well,' says the camel, 'I think that's a strange question from somebody whose dick is on his face.
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Got a Headache
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into
bed when his wife complained, as usual, 'I have a headache.
'Perfect,' her husband said.'
I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin.
You can take it orally,or as a suppository, it's up to you.'
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A couple
A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
His wife replies 'You've got a bigger knob than your brother'
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Morning
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone.
"Morning" I said.
"No" he replied, "just having a pee."
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Aging
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.
He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
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Sexercise
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think two minutes and fifteen seconds every three months is going to shift this beer belly.
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Eskimos
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.
They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
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21
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Oh no, Greeks bearing gifts!
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Posted:May 27, 2017 2:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:10 am
48697 Views
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A blind date.
Have you ever gone on a blind date? I mean totally blind, where you do not know whom you meeting apart from their name? Taking risks sometimes can also be so much fun,  for a single man, anyway. I have gone to many of those in the past, and they were all enjoyable and fun days out.
Once, I even stood on the entrance of a quite busy London tube station, Camden Town, with a red rose and a big smile on a Valentines night. Got many funny looks that time, as I had to look every woman in the eyes, to try guess. My date came on time and introduced herself, in the end. I had never seen her before, in a photo or real life. Only knew her name. Always found it really exciting. The wondering, the heart beats near the time...
It has been about 8 years I have not done that. After typing and reading the last sentence, I am now wondering, WTF not? Don't ask, I really don't know. All I do know is I feel it is the right time for yet another blind date! 
The date
The Greek community in London has held a wine festival for many years. Well the Cypriot community, to be precise, but it's almost the same! In this years event, held on Lea Valley athletics centre, tomorrow Sunday 28th May and Monday 29th, a Greek singer called Giannis Ploutarhos, ( mother google will lead you to some lovely tunes ) is appearing as the "star" of the event. There will be wine, of course, and plenty of food. I have never been on this wine festival, and never seen Ploutarhos live, and would love to do both. Guess what? This Monday 29th May I am doing both. Very excited about this. So excited in fact, that I got 2 tickets!
T's and C's
I suppose, it would be preferred if you are a woman who likes wine (!) , Greek music, and foreign food, unless you are Greek! And you can get a chance to meet a Greekphilosopher too! Would you like to come and why?
As a wishful thinker, if there is more that one mad woman to take this offer up, the runner up will have to wait for a few weeks...Despina Vandi is coming to town soon!
I guess it is a public enough place to meet, starts about mid day and finishes about 11 at night. Entertainment starts about 4 in the afternoon. For more details, apply within. I am even more excited now! I even know who I would like to take, but I don't think she knows! ( I don't think she knows that I know, you know? )
Are you up for a blind date? 
Oops, no blind date jokes, oh no... found some wine ones though
I was told I could make ice cubes with left over wine. I am confused here. What is left over wine?
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The secret for enjoying a good bottle of wine...
1 Open and allow to breathe
2 If it does not look like breathing, give it mouth to mouth.
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What wine gives you a good nights sleep? Pino More.
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At a wine merchant's, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new
one to hire.
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said, "It's a Muscat , three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in
steel containers.
Low grade, but acceptable."
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass....
"It's a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels,
matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.."
"Correct."
A third glass...
''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the
drunk.
The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if you don't give me
the job, I'll name the father."
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My small grandson got lost in the new Liverpool One shopping centre the other day.
He approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my granddad!"
The guard asked, "What's his name?"
"Granddad."
The guard smiled, then asked: "What's he like?"
The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied:
"Red wine, and women with big tits."
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Sorry, I was drunk.
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Posted:May 21, 2017 12:53 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:09 am
33216 Views
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I am now calling myself the sultan Greek philosopher, as I have a little harem on tow! The collection is growing!!! Women like PURPLE, how many times do I have to say it?  Trust me! I think I even have some purple on me, always! The harem is probably to remain virtual, but you never know...
Arrangements are frantically been made for acquiring a 12 seater mini bus, just in case, as I hear they all want to go shopping together. I got them all some high viz lipsticks, so I don't lose them at the mall. I have green and purple! They can use any one, or both together!
Sorry, I was drunk . What do you think of that one? Have you ever heard it?
( Hope not from the person you spend last night with, after they just woke up and took a look at you! )
Does the "drunk" person get's exonerated? Is it even a good excuse?
Could it be, that when someone is drunk, they are also more honest as they do not care, for what feelings to show and express? Kind of thing like do with their innocence. Or is it just beer goggles and no brain, feelings, instinct, or thought? I think when someone is drunk, as well as been silly, they are actually more honest than when sober. I do not include those who drink and become aggressive or looking for a fight in my thought here.  It is just the "good" drunks, and not the "bad" ones, for now. You hear the truth from drunks and , they say.
"Sorry, I was drunk" as an excuse, does not cut it for me.
I know what it means, ( Only from what my friends tell me, of course! Never from my last nights partner!  ) or why it may be used as an excuse for something done, said, or not. Even instead of " you are not my type", but a bad excuse, all round. Are you happy with that excuse? I personaly prefer the truth.
A couple of drunk jokes today.
I woke up this morning, got dressed and went in the kitchen where my wife was already fixing breakfast.
I looked to see what she was cooking, and I see one of my socks in the frying pan.
"What are you doing?" I asked her.
She said "I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very
Drunk," she replied.
Completely puzzled, I walked away thinking to myself ,"I don't remember asking her to cook my sock..."
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud
pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in
the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
'Not a chance,' says the husband. 'It is 3 o'clock in the morning.' He slams
the door and returns to bed.
'Who was that?' asked his wife. 'Just some drunk guy asking for a push!'
'Did you help him?' she asks. 'No. I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the
Morning and it is pouring rain outside!'
His wife said, 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we
broke down
and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself!'
The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, 'Hello. Are you still
there?'
'Yes,' comes back the answer.
'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.
'Yes! Please!' comes the reply from the
darkness.
'Where are you?' asks the husband.
'Over here on the swing!' replies the drunk.
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Free cams and a colour crush
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Posted:May 18, 2017 8:21 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:09 am
28427 Views
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I just discovered I have a 7 hour 40 minutes porn video on my computer! 7 hours?
How did I just discovered that?
As a standard member, for the last few days I have not been able to watch any cams on here. That's how.
I think we are not allowed free views anymore. Ironic that, because let's say cams d ot com, for example, is also run by the same company running this place, along with their 4062 domains, and that one is free to view...
I am still playing around with the colours and fonts and text size in my posts. I read on mother Google that women like blue, purple, green and black, viewing a page on the net, where they are most likely to feel at ease and even decide if they want to interact, by leaving a comment.
So, yesterday I changed the colours on my blog. First change for ages. Guess what? It worked!
A woman, came out of the blue, and declared on her blog that I am one of her secret crushes on blog land! Aww, thanx sweet sexy Zara_thustra,  I am still drowning in dopamine, and it is almost 12 hours later. Looking forward to our new closer friendship, maybe organise a virtual engagement party with drinks, snacks, and loads of sex? And she never even visited my blog yesterday! So, boys, take the advice, change your blog colour! It works!
Of course there is that other little fact, a few thousand miles between us, but I am sure we can over cum this.
I did yesterday, I took her to bed with me...well she was in my mind. We did not do it, just cuddled...and the Pope is not a catholic!
What would you do if someone had a crush on you, you liked them too, and they were in the other side of the world?
Make sure your camera works and get the tissues do I hear you say? Oh you wicked lot, you demoralising me already!
Just some short jokes today, all 10 of them!
A man walks into a Welsh pub and orders a white wine Spitzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him. "Where are you from? You sound English", "I'm from across the Severn ," replies the man nervously."What do you do, just across the Severn ?", "I'm a taxidermist." "What on earth is one of those?". "I mount animals." "Its alright boys," shouts the barman, “he's one of us”!
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A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied – “My husband’s cheque book!!”
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A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl: “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor”.
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Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv. What’s the secret?
Old man: I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.
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Wife: I wish I were a newspaper so I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper so I could have a new one every day!
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An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has traveled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat.
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A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said . . .'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humor, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
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My 's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow that, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
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At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
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Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!
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21
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Intimate relationships
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Posted:May 17, 2017 9:51 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:05 am
25298 Views
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I have played around a bit with the background color and text on this and another 6 of my previous posts. Please have a look and tell me what you think is easier to read and what is a no no for you. Open to other suggestions as well. Many Thanx.
Lust and desire. They are similar. Usually included in the same sentence or context. Are they the same? I think lust is when someone just wants to fuck you. I see desire as someone wanting a bit more from you than fuck you, a mental connection, I can not describe it, but I think it is more than just physical. If, like me, you do not think they are the same, what do you prefer to feel, desired or lusted after? One of? Both? I prefer desire, seeking and offering.
Some women on here say they like a connection with their partner, and I quite agree with the need for a connection, and seeking the same. Is "a connection" and "intimacy" the same? The bond or chemistry some of us are looking for?
Mother Google seems to think there are four types of intimacy that we can offer each other, or seek from. One of, or a few or all four together.
1) Physical intimacy, sensual proximity or touching, holding hands, hugging, kissing, petting or other sexual activity...
2) Emotional intimacy, a bundle of subjective feelings that come together to create a bond between two people, and particularly for sexual relationships, typically develop after a certain level of trust has been reached and personal bonds have been established...
3) Cognitive or Intellectual intimacy, where two people exchange thoughts, share ideas and enjoy similarities and differences between their opinions...
4) Experiential intimacy, when two people get together to actively involve themselves with each other, probably saying very little to each other, not sharing any thoughts or many feelings, but being involved in mutual activities with one another...
Which types of intimacy do you think can be achieved or included in pure NSA or FWB relationships? Can a relationship which started as a FWB or NSA ever develop to something more?
My own view? I can only see the 1 and/or 4 type of intimacy in NSA or FWB relationships, which is not something bad, just seems (to me) a bit mediocre, plain or even bare, without the other two. I can understand there are a myriad different reasons, for when anyone opts out of 2 and 3, and only seek and offer any of the other two. It is harder to find, I can tell you that for free, but I am a strong believer of the fact that, 2 and/or 3, eventually bring the other two along, but never the other way around.
( the numbers in the right order, in my own mind, 3 followed by 2 which is followed by 1 and experiential comes last )
I have no right or intent to judge anyone from all those different to me. I just find it hard to disassociate love from sex. To have sex with someone, I must really really like them in the first place, so I need to know them first, and if I really like them I would probably be wanting to see them again, and have the possibility that maybe, just maybe, it could lead to something more. It can be a lonely world for hopeless romantics!
So before you get your blog hatchets and come for me, I am not saying or judging here. Just thinking out loud, sort of.
And some what else, sex jokes!
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
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QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
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HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
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WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
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The sins of men
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Posted:May 16, 2017 9:48 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:05 am
24003 Views
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Years ago, when I first joined up on here, I must admit, I did most of the sins men might do as newbies.
I had the word "dick" included on my handle.
The handle was changed in the first month.
I did copy and paste a message to many women. I sort of had a main body for it, and was adding a few different details for each woman, but still, copy and paste, or carpet bombing! At the time it seemed an OK thing to do. It did not last long. At this time, it reminds me how silly I can be, at times. Still, we all learn from our mistakes.
I did not send any uninvited dick pix, but there was a private album in my profile photos.
Having a private album may not be a sin as such, but remember this time around, 10 years later, I have send links of my profile and blog pages to both my daughters and my sis. I do not think they be interested at seeing my bollocks!
Even if that was not the case, I never ever share nude pix of me, unless I am sharing them with you and we done them together! And I don't ask for any either. I want to meet the person, cum on her tits, not have a tug on her photo!
I did have some rare but pure rant moments on my blog. Even a rant about the ex. Or two.
These days I see the negativity on that, so I try to avoid blogging in a bad mood. And I care much less about the ex, naturally. In fact I care less for many things. It is a stage of life. Could not give 2 hoots, is a good description.
I did have a very long profile.
Ha, if you think I still have a long one, you should of seen that other edition, wow! Why did I ever think anyone would read it to the end?
I did cam. Dressed, naked, at home, even at work. Obviously the dressed times, or at work, were not sexually charged, just fun. Cum to think of it, some of the sexually charged times were fun too!
Had to try it, a couple of times it was nice, other times not so. Now, the only cam I will use is the one on the tripod, in our room!
I did have cyber sex. It always left me feeling empty. Pun not intended. I meant the feeling of been so near yet so far away, cursing the miles apart, or the circumstances not allowing a real time meet. From early on then, until now, I rather wait for the real thing.
I had my expectations, and the belief I would find what I was looking for. That sort of worked! I was looking for sex, and found it. But also, sometimes it was so soulless, almost mechanical. It was the reason I left this place alone, for years. Can it ever be NSA, or FWB but not soulless and mechanical? I still have my expectations and beliefs, it will be interesting to see how things turn out this time around.
Well, here I am , 10 years later, with more life experience in general and more A*F*F experience too. But there are a few things I still do not understand.
There are 4062 domains connected with the company running this site. I know they include dot net and dot biz and dot info, dot this, that or the other, but still an impressive number. Is this the total number of denominations or different kinks, kinds and shades of sex? Have they catered for all possible tastes?
As I am quite high on the local top members list, why are there no hordes of single women outside my door yet?
Why, when something I have asked for, is finally given to me, I find it less attractive, than when I started asking for it?
Will I ever find my way out of this dark labyrinth called the female psyche?
And some funnies
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...
'Oi, what's your disability?'
I said 'Tourettes! Now fuck off!'
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath,
he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a '.
He says 'That's all right, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.
She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan'.
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.
The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.
The second couldn't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."
The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his dick.
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16
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Trouble at the manor
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Posted:May 15, 2017 9:48 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:05 am
22027 Views
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I live in the first floor of a house. The woman downstairs is the ex wife of the landlord, who lives down the road. She lives with her 2 late . He just seen me when I popped to the shops, and asked me to have a chat with his ex, about some work needed doing with the front step. The thing is, me and her, well how can I put it. I think she is a witch, who still hits her late .
In the past, I heard some screaming and some door slamming from downstairs, and because it was really late I got worried about them and called the police. I did not know it was just a late night domestic going on, and she probably thought I was interfering. Ever since she will not talk to me, just blanks me out, like if I am totally invisible. Which I do not mind at all, broom stick and pointy nose connection in my head, and all that. Her are both lovely and polite, and we often say hello. How am I to talk to her?
I would love to work on my front step and get paid for it, but this house, near a train line, shakes and rattles about, every time a train passes, there are about to be problems with anything done on that step, as new tiny cracks appear often. Plus who wants to have the witch over their head as a paying customer? I don't even want to talk to her, never mind work for her. I know I can ask for a stupid high price, to make her not chose me, but I am scared the witch will pick me anyway, because she is a witch, and she knows...
Any advice?
In other local news in my head...
Potentially I am supposed to get e-mail notifications on my screen, when someone views my profile, sends a message, leaves a comment on my blog, etc. Realistically, I get the e-mail notification almost instantly, if I am already logged in on the a*f*f*, ( an e-mail notification for something I know about already from the site's own notification system, at the bottom right of my screen ) or at least 3 hours later, if I am not logged in on the site! Should it not be the other way around?
Has anyone ever joined this place and thought oh look, blogs, yum!
It took me about 6 weeks to discover them. The 6 weeks of continuous clicking any gold does when they join, viewing every one's profiles!
If I was a porn star my name would of been something patriotic, like "Homer the Donner", or "Homer the hammer".
If you were a porn star, what would your name be?
The words "Sloppier", "Hopper", Relish", "Holes", are all anagrams of "philosopher". I wonder if that is significant.
What anagrams can you make from your user name?
What we got here? Ah, a few jokes!
Jeff and Mary
They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Jeff asked Mary out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted.
They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.
Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink.
Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Mary soon joined Jeff for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....
Jeff was thinking: 'If I'd known she was still a virgin, I'd have been gentler.'
Mary was thinking: 'If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off '
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A guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an
hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his
drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a
menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?'
The poor little guy starts crying.
'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I
didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying.'
'This is the worst day of my life,' says the little guy between
sobs. 'I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an
important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking
lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I
left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with
the gardener and my bit me. So, I came to this bar trying to
work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up
and drink the damn poison.
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Difference Between Complete & Finish...
People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!
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They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!
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Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"
"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."
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A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
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A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
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And something for all you mums...
The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mummy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mum knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't know everything!
14 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother? She wouldn't have a clue.
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's so five minutes ago.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mum's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mum would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mum.
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18
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Internet Dating
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Posted:May 10, 2017 1:32 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 8:02 am
23517 Views
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Internet dating. Millions of us on it. With even more millions of wants, wishes, likes, hates, preferences, kinks and requirements, as we are a diverse crowd. Every denomination of the human body, sought or avoided, and every fold and shade of the mind, from the "normal" to the dark, and back again. Oh bollocks! I wanted to have a serious mood for this post and it is now gone! You get this instead.
Internet dating for men.
I
N eed
T o
E ncounter
R andy
N ymph(s)
E xpecting
T o
D ate
A nd
T o
I nitiate
N aked
G ames
| Internet dating for women
I
N eed
T o
E ncounter
R omantic
N ice
E ducated
T errific
D ark
A thletic
T all
I nteresting
N on
G olfer |
And some larfs.
SING IT GIRLS!!! OUT LOUD
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those Jeans!
Go on now-go! , Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
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Women are like phones:
They like to be held,
talked to and
touched often.
But push the wrong button
and you're disconnected......
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Blonde Men!
A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
------------------------------------
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex.
The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
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A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
------------------------------
A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
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A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ."
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone.
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first ?" asks the doctor.
"No," he shouts, "this is her husband!"
------------------------------------
A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
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A blond man's goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.
------------------------------------
A blond man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"It should be around your neck," says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
------------------------------------
(This one actually makes sense...sort of...lol)
An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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The common game
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Posted:May 7, 2017 10:48 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 7:56 am
21927 Views
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Are we all the same? Of course not. But even as we are all different, I think we share so many common things. Little things we do every day, similar or even exactly the same like others do. Boys, do you pull funny faces when you shave? Girls, does your mouth move when applying your eye/face make up? And what if the wind changed and we all stayed with the funny face for ever?
Do you have any common things with others? Let's see!
If someone has mentioned any of your "commons", please don't forget to give them an agree vote, and of course, share your "commons" too.
Here is my list of some "commons", what I think I have in common with many, to get the ball rolling.
I keep all plastic bags in a drawer in my kitchen.
I park my car facing the same way every time I return home.
I am looking for someone sexy, as this is a sex site!
I own a pair of lucky pants.
I believe there is life on another planet.
I own a lot of single socks.
I only drink real coffee.
I can be silly without been drunk.
I keep all my sex toys in a bag under the bed.
I love the blogs.
Anything you fancy, and think you have in common, from how many times per day you think about sex, to what you do first thing on a Sunday morning, from what you do straight after sex, to how many orgasms you need for a great night.
Is this some sort of word game? Are blog games common?
A couple of common jokes? Oh no! Not this time! 3 "common" one liners too!
How was Colonel Sanders a too common male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
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How many common men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know-it doesn't happen often enough for us to have encountered the event.
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What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? All were invented by women.
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An Obituary for common sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- Maybe it was my fault;
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not , are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly .
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his , Responsibility, and by his , Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I know my rights
I want it now
Someone else is to blame
I'm a victim
Not many attended his funeral because very few realized he was gone.
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The common rules of bedroom golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Some players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they consider to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning of bush around the hole to permit improved viewing of, alignment with and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the course owner's request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance (time permitting) to play the same hole several times in one match.
16. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.
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18
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#30th Symposium Dreams
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Posted:May 4, 2017 8:43 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 7:28 am
23450 Views
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Dreams can be the awake type or the sleep type. They can also be day dreams, pipe dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares, recurring, prophetic, life changing, signal, epic, progressive, sexual or mutual. Oh what a coincidence, I put sexual and mutual next to each other!
I used to get loads of dreams on my sleep, but not these days. I only have sleep dreams rarely and also when I realize what the time is on most nights, guzzle my last glass of scotch and go straight to bed. Those times I get some real weird ones, or nightmares, even with the ex. So after thinking long and hard about it, I stopped doing that. The going straight to bed I mean, of course! I stay up for another 10 minutes after the last scotch and then crash!
I sleep like a log and often experience a sudden muscle contraction (called hypnic myoclonia) as I feel the "falling" on sleep's NREM stage 1. This is when I punch you in the face, or kick you, totally unwillingly, ( unless you deserve it ) and then wonder why you try to suffocate me with the pillow, especially as you just said how much you liked me and kissed me good night, a minute ago! I can not seem to remember the hypnic myoclonia explanation as I am gasping for air. I only learned about the name today, from mother google! I had this forever. Just never bothered to see if it had a name, and I thought it made me so rare! Mother google also says "intense dreaming occurs during REM sleep as a result of heightened brain activity" REM stands for rapid eye movement, and is the other period of sleep, following the Non REM period and it's four stages", which together make up the sleep cycle. 4 stages of NREM, and REM, repeated many times during our sleep time. I learn something new every day!
Most of my dreams are the "awake" type.
When I see a pretty woman. I dream I am her man, how she smells and tastes, sleeping and waking up with her, how she feels when I am inside her, how lucky my friends would think I was, and those nice thoughts are soon replaced by thoughts of the hair, her hair all around the house, everywhere, from the shower to the butter dish in the fridge. Her funny moods every now and then, when she says everything is "fine". Her 168 jars, tubes and tubs of moisturizers, lotions, potions, creams and ointments occupying most of the bathroom, on every possible space, including the one inch wide window ledge and some of the floor. Her shoes, all 87 pairs, and I thought I was the one with the shoe fetish!
A fast car. I dream about me been the driver, and beating the last person who beaten me at the traffic light come F1 kind of start. I can only remember the last one, the most recent, as they all beat me with my snail pace 1.6 little Ford! No warp drive on this one. I guess I should of got a Ferrari if I wanted to be boy racer! Then I think of how many speeding tickets I would of accumulated with the Ferrari, and feel kind of thankful I drive an old banger. Even our motorways have a 70 miles per hour limit on them. That's just 5 miles higher than a Ferrari still on 2nd gear, no?
A nice house in town. Steps and columns at the front, four floors high, and a gym at the basement! I dream of been the owner, the one who can afford to live there, the good earner. Enjoy the amenities of my little palace, while I am raking in thousands every week! Then I remind my self that the best houses in town are build with love and not money. Wealthy people can have exactly the same problems others have, or even worse. And they can be equally nasty as well. It's just seems more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
A boat, when on holiday in Greece. I mean those grand vessels you see moored out, 30 or 40 meters length, with cabins for guests, crew, the lot. Still divided and never know if I prefer the schooner types, with the sails, the busy deck areas, and all the ropes hanging, or those shiny white motor boats with the tinted windows and helipad! Both send me day dreaming. Been a host or guest. And then....and then there is nothing against that, in my mind, nothing to help me snap out of that dream! So, the boat ones are long time day dreams, lasting for weeks after returning to reality...
The moving back to live in Greece in a decade or so, is also another day dream of mine, and although far away, seems the most likely to achieve, as far as day dreams go. There is not even a plan yet, just the idea...
A huge nice job. Something long term, and located somewhere nice, in town or out. I dream how it could be, steady wages for a couple of years. The joy of driving by, years later thinking, I helped to build that. All the peace of mind. Then I see the slaves coming out of them. I was working on one recently, as a self employed contractor. My colleagues were all "employees" of the company, having their rent, transport to site by bus, and food paid by the company. On top of wages! Nice I hear you say! Not really. Wages.....3 pounds per hour. Taxable! WTF? I was making in less than two hours what they got on a day! And I thought slavery was long dead! They live 10 or more people in 3-4 bedroom homes. The food allowance is just that, a tenner a day. And always under the threat that if you put a tiny step wrong, you end up on the street and with no job! I was there as an independent contractor but hated seeing all this slavery going on. I am surprised there are people who accept to do it, to be slaves. Not for me, at all, and never ever!
A bird flying. Makes me dream and wonder how it could be if I could fly. And shit all over those white cars! The only real life flying I know is from a diving rock, 4-5 metres above the sea, and it's always downward! I know nothing about white cars, and the customized marks birds put on them. Is this some sort of art? Ass-emblage art? The inventiveness of placing a flying shit from high up, right in the middle of a windscreen amuses me!
A asleep on a sunny patch. When I see that I think why do we use the expression "it's a dog's life" as a somehow detrimental term? They have sex with anyone, anywhere, sleep anywhere, what's so bad about all that? I will not even go on about their ability to lick their own balls! I like my balls but always try to get a friend for the licks, and I do not dream of a dogs life. The dogs house always sounded a scary place.
...as I drive my Ferrari, returning to my palatial home and my basement gym to pull some weights, I see a pretty woman, think of pulling her legs over my shoulders, on the top deck of the schooner, what a nice slave she would be all tied up, as we fly over the waves of the Aegean, and on to cloud nine, with all her help with the ball licking...
I hear the driver behind me hooting, informing me I been standing still on the green light, in my 1.6 Ford with no warp drive, caught day dreaming again, and need to drive off! I think of my last day dream and smile as I drive on for ten seconds and stop again. I see the guy behind me on my mirror, looking at me, wondering why I think a mile long traffic jam in front of us is funny! He is confused and a mile long jam will help him, and I have a mile more of day dreaming to come...
I also have many of the other types of dream I mentioned in the beginning, serious or not, but this is the "lite" version of my take on dreams. Can not do philosophical, deep, or thoughtful all the time!
And some dream jokes, what else?
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Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt you got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing'.
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Follow your dreams. Except the one where you're naked in church.
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I would tell you about my dream involving a Lion, a Witch and a Wardrobe, but it’s Narnia business.
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I had the worst nightmare last night, it didn't scare me at all.
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After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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Andy said, "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamt I was with twelve of the most beautiful girls in the world. Blonds, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row."
The psychiatrist replied, "Hold it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible."
"Oh yeah?" said Andy, "In the dream, I was the third girl from the end."
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Oh no, no sex for 8 years ?
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Posted:Apr 27, 2017 1:53 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 7:45 am
26786 Views
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Oh yeah, this is me. I had not had sex for 8 years! What? I hear you ask or scream. Close your open mouth and let me explain. I know I am a man and should see sex just for the act, and no feelings involved. And I do, when I visit one of the pros behind the windows in Amsterdam, or London.
No windows around here but there are some places with "massage" or "models" signs by some sort of red light. But some "massage" places are just that, so watch out if you are visiting! Or you can meet on some hotel or private room, via cards found in the public phone boxes.
That is just a business transaction with a woman, I need to hire her body for half an hour, to cum somewhere in or on her, and she is happy to lease it to me, for a few notes. An ejaculation and nothing more. The luxury of not seeing your hand...again! And when you are on time, you save your ear drums from the blasting alarm by your head, on the bedside table!
By the way, I never go with those who do not speak very good English, here or in the Dam, as I get a smell of people trafficking or something, and do not want to support it. I try not to anyhow.
Sex for me, in my heart of hearts, is associated with feelings. They are not and do not need to be feelings of eternal love. Is intimacy a feeling? Is the wish to know each others bodies, so you can give and take the most pleasure, another feeling? Achieving it? The waking up with your partner, after the night you spend together? The pleasure in the knowledge that she or he chose you to spend last night with? A few drinks and a nice dinner before the sex? The hug saying goodbye or see you later? I can not get any of this when I hire a pro. So I call that a business transaction, and I call having sex, the times I get all the "feelings" above.
And why did I not go out seeking someone all this time? Because I am a grumpy sod, usually not in the mood and don't want to shave everyday! Not really, though I am sure some times it was that. I went to work then gone home. I love my home comforts, the mellow smokes and beers, sometimes friends or family visiting, the privacy. Other times out with friends. And it seemed easier, a couple of times per month, go to town, spend a bit of money, and life just rolled along.
There was a series I used to watch, years ago, and there was this widower doctor, about my age, never gone seeking a date or someone, and when his colleagues asked him why, he just said "I go home, close the door, get a book, pour my self a scotch, and I am fine", and I could not agree more. I would of offered the same answer had anyone asked me.
I have been called an old romantic, and I am not as old as 55 yet  but I can wear the romantic guy badge. There is nothing wrong with that. We are not all the same, not all guys are romantic, and not all women want a romantic guy. So business transactions, yes, for 8 years, but no sex! See? It can happen.
A couple of sex jokes
A 5th grader asked her mother the age-old question,
'How did I get here?'
Her mother told her, 'God sent you.'
'Did God send you, too?' asked the .
'Yes, Dear,' the mother replied.
'What about Grandma and Grandpa?' the persisted
'He sent them also,' the mother said.
'Did he send their parents, too?' asked the .
'Yes, Dear, He did,' said the mother patiently.
'So you're telling me that there has been NO sex in this family for 200 years?
No wonder everyone's so damn grouchy around here!'
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Sex Insurance
Just Like You Can Get Insurance For Cars, Property, Sports etc.,
You Can Now Get Insurance For Sex !!
Make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having.
To help you, please find a list of companies catering for most tastes 
a). Sex with your wife - Legal & General.
b) Sex on the telephone - Direct Line.
c) Sex with your Partner - Standard Life.
d) Sex with someone Different - Go Compare.
e) Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than.
f) Sex On the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels.
g) Sex with a - Commercial Union.
h) Sex with your maid - Employer's Liability.
i) Sex with an OAP - Saga.
j) Sex resulting in pregnancy - General Accident.
k) Sex with a transvestite - Confused
Make sure you have the right cover!
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The life-work balance!
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Posted:Apr 21, 2017 12:04 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 7:27 am
23163 Views
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First of all, after living in here for the last month and a bit, on my voluntary mini holiday, I went back to work this week and can not get up to my years ago shenanigans, taking the laptop to work, on building sites. I miss this place, the people in it, the blogs, everything. Missing you already.
I need to work on my "Life and Work" balance. I think I can not say no when someone flashes me a wad, and the balance is always one sided, so nothing balancing there. This is a chronic illness of self employed people, I believe. And another as usual, sods law, when one job comes in, a nice one, oh yeah, another two come the next day! I am an extreme man, all or nothing and everything that comes with it. And I take it as it comes. The highs feel like above Mars, and the lows are near the centre of the earth somewhere! And that carries on to work, as well. 
Posting this from above Mars, obviously. Another reason I am looking for a girlfriend too. Not on top of the actual planet, hopefully. Help to work on that balance! I want a reason to say no thanx to long hours or weekend working. And I am missing this place, damn another one of my other addictions, ( I have a collection ) my fixation with the blogs and the rest this site offers! Just wanted to say I miss you all.
Another joke
This is my own version, ( some women I have met and some I have not... ) unlike the "men hall of shame" funny on my previous post, from my inbox archive for which I do not claim ownership. If I do, I say so. 
I don't want to be called a man basher...only! . In the name of fairness it's the girls turn, and of course I know, that most men from the previous joke, or women from this one, are not like this. But there are some out there, and if you read this, come on girls and boys, you know they exist, so here is my take on
WOMEN ON LINE
Women Online Hall of Shame
The time traveler
This woman has managed to travel forward in time. From six weeks ago, when she send you a "recent" photo of her, to today, the first time you meet her, she has time traveled about 5+ years in age, and 3-4 dress sizes. When your car tilts on her side after she sits on the passenger seat, she blames the new shoes that you insisted she wears, or the change in her pockets. She is trying to fool you, so play the game! Pretend you didn't notice and drive carefully, and hope you can meet again, in another of her time travels. I love Dr Who!
The man hater
Once upon a time, probably when she was in her teens, a man broke her heart. Ever since, her longest relationship has been with her dildo. Everything and anything about you is wrong. If you joke with her, you are cheesy. Too serious, if you don't. If your shirt is hanging out, it reminds her of a homeless man she knew, if not you are too uptight. If you like to hold her hand on the walk on the park, you are too clingy. Indifferent if you don't. If you tell her you really like her personality, that's fine, but it's the wrong time for that.
The ego boost addict
She has read your profile, some of your blog, and seen all your photos. She messages you a dozen times a day, with sexy hot inviting messages. You feel like a Greek God! If you tell her she is not your type, she says she swallows. You think, oh well, who cares about types, she is just a one night stand anyway. You agree to meet her. As soon as you ask for details, the where and when, she disappears from the face of the earth, smiling and satisfied that she got you, with a fully massaged ego, and you never hear from her again.
The married, attached one, who says she is single
Discretion expected, should be a red flag. You can only meet her in a town 100 miles away from both of you. This, she claims, is because she is the explorer type and likes new places. You will never visit her at her home. You will never meet her in the evening. Unless hubby or her other half is a night worker, works away, or is in a hospital. You can only contact her after she has contacted you first. Strictly.
The drama queen
Prepare for tears. If there is one more or one less ice cube on the drink you just got her, tears. If you have more chips on your plate than hers, tears. If you misspelled her name by a single letter, ( Anne/Ann ) how could you, you brute, more tears. If your favorite color is different to hers, yeah, tears. Welcome to a world of slamming doors, smashed crockery, "I am fine", and huffy silences.
The normal kind of girl with good sense of humor
She likes to go out, she also likes to stay in with a glass of wine and a DVD. She probably means on her own. She does not know what she is looking for, but will know when she find's it! She has the same profile in another 8457834 dating sites. Or, if it is not your day, "normal" in a Lorena Bobbit kind of way. Normality should be a given; so run away as fast as you can from anyone selling it as one of their good points. The golden rule of dating on the net, is that anyone who feels obliged to mention they have a sense of humor is usually devoid of one.
The fake one
Fake tan, boobs, eyelashes, hair color, hair extensions, nails, designer clothes, smile, life, friends and personality. Fake address and job. Fake everything. But cant find a "Genuine Honest Man".
The princess, trophy girlfriend
For some men, she's the one. When you scratch the perfect surface ( she sleeps in full make-up ) you'll find drama. This high maintenance woman needs to be center of your attention and thought of like royalty. You need the red carpet with you at all times. She will get everything she wants. And she won't necessarily return the favor. Expects the lot, and then some. Looking for a new wardrobe, jewelery, new posh restaurants to try, and a few weekends away before she dumps you for a man half your age. If it's not your day, she'll marry you!
The Clinger
As soon as you ask her for a date, she says, have you talked to your about us. She will always want to hold your hand, in bed, the shower, the super market, even running for the bus. She is overly emotional, shares all her feelings from the start and needs constant reassurance about your relationship status. That means lots of "let's be together for ever" text messages, phone calls and I Love you.
The stalker
She follows you around on line, knows who's blog you visited, what you commented, and at what time. Her other house is your FB page. It was a big mistake to give her your mobile number. The texts " I can see you are online", "why don't you reply to my messages" or "I am thinking of buying the house next door to you" fill your phone. Her friend is walking about across the road from your house, taking pictures. She is always texting. She is always interested at what you doing. Sends you funny little messages. She loves it. Not the interacting with you, just the tracing. Every time you reply!
The been there, done it all, got the T-shirt
There is no new place to take this one for a date. Cinema, club, restaurant, crocodile taming, high rise building climbing, bull racing, mountain climbing, paragliding across the Atlantic, robbing the bank, been there, done it all, got the T-shirt. The only place she has not been yet, and would love to go, is the church altar, with you next to her. She has of course done that already with the previous 4 boyfriends, just not with you, yet.
The liar
She tell's you this is the first time she is online dating. What she means is, she has done all the internet dating sites in the last 3 years, has had 682 new dates in the last six months, she is now on her third time around on this one, and it is really her first time, on a Tuesday at 04.00 in the morning, meeting you in a jail car park. She claims she is still a virgin. She never done it before, on her left ear.
The divorcee
If she instigated the divorce, she will never stop reminding you what a bastard her ex was. If her ex instigated the divorce, she will never stop telling you how good her ex drove, as you driving, what her ex said, as you speaking, how did her ex eat, while you having dinner. In any case, prepare to learn about her ex. Everything. And then some more.
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