Preparing to hire a : Day 37, Back on track
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Posted:Sep 18, 2016 10:38 pm
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2016 4:31 pm
7394 Views
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Ok, I got more than a little distracted by concentrating on what happens after I cum for the first time with a vagina involved and lose track of the task at hand. That being said I had to push back my first time to December 21st. That date is set in stone. Ready or not. I'm giving myself a early Christmas present. I've already refocused myself and pick out the girl and purchased the best condoms on the market. I'm going to got back to my prep full force. In the next few weeks I'll get more detailed with my schedule. This is happening.
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Rainbows
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Posted:Sep 14, 2016 10:19 pm
Last Updated:Sep 14, 2016 10:25 pm
7412 Views
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I could find a more perfect metaphor for life and this human experience than a rainbow. Light, we perceive it as on simple thing but if it passes through a prism you see that it if far from simple. It reveals all the beautiful colors of the constantly changing symphony of life. What a beautiful existence we live in.
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Easy cum easy go
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Posted:Sep 14, 2016 7:36 pm
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2016 7:39 pm
8252 Views
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I don't know if I mentioned this but I'm multi-orgasmic. I can stay hard after I cum multiple times as long as I keep stimulation myself. Which is found is rare in guys. Normally a guy reaches climax then immediately goes into a refractory period where he can't keep a erection. My refractory period comes after I stop stimulation. That's when I get dead dick for a good hour or so. I developed this superpower from not getting laid. I would masturbate so much the time between when I was ready to go got shorter and shorter until it wasn't a issue. I could go for as long as I wanted That's not a humble brag I'm leading something. Well I finally found my limit. It's 12.
I took a break from porn a while ago. Well I fell off the wagon. It's wasn't my intention. Let me explain. I was watching a YouTube video from one of my favorite content providers Mia Li who just happens to be a adult performer. I've watched ever single one of her videos on YouTube but have never seen her primary work performances. I guess being already in a weaken state from lack of porn I had a thought. Maybe it was rude to watch and comment on her YouTube videos and not be familiar with her more naked video. So I had to check them out. For research of course. So I sauntered over to Porn hub and checked out a few of her videos. All of them happened to be from my favorite porn company kink dot com. I don't have to tell you watching my favorite porn company made me a little frisky. So I spent the next hour ruining a towel but something strange happened after the 12th time I came. I started getting soft. It wasn't instant dead dick. It was more loss of stiffness to a point then back to hard but once it was fully hard it would start to get soft again. It was so frustrating that I just had to stop. Because every guy can tell you that a half chubby jerked off isn't worth the effort. This only happened to me once before. While I was trying to send my first and only dick pic but I chalked that up to it being late at night and me jerking off about a hour before but now I think I'm losing my gift before I had a chance to share it with a vagina.
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Am I really a debbie downer?
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Posted:Sep 14, 2016 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2016 4:59 pm
8779 Views
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I got a response to a blog post saying that I put myself down a lot and I bring everyone down. Which I didn't see but it got three agree votes so it doesn't matter if I don't see it other people see it. I know I can be a whiny little bitch sometimes with my "Here I live in the land of plenty crying about my own virginity" thing. And yes that is a Indigo girls lyric. I got Lillth Fair nostalgia, DON'T JUDGE ME!
I honestly don't get it. I do call myself a loser or a weirdo from time to time and of course my confidence is so low its has to ask the earth mantel to keep it down up there but I see it more as being honest with myself and not putting myself down. Am I getting the results I want. No. Am I getting the reactions from people that I want. No. A man is judged by the results he produces if I am not producing results I am a loser. I not helping myself by sugar coating things even if I'm more sensitive than the average person it doesn't matter. My feelings don't matter only results matter. So, to produce results I could lie which I'm terrible at or I could get better which I'm trying to do. And by calling myself a loser I give myself a reminder and a cathartic release.
I have one result I want to produce. Get laid. Which I'm trying to build up to. Because pity sex is a myth. No one fucks down. They fuck up or across. So like a jokey riding a race I have to bring out the whip sometimes to motivate but I'm also a gentleman and gentlemen make sure everyone around them is as comfortable as possible so I'll try to quell the loser talk.
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This is why I can't have nice thing
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Posted:Sep 11, 2016 8:11 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2016 10:54 pm
8342 Views
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I can't OM! If you're not familiar OM stands for orgasmic massage. It is a highly ritualized practice of stroking a woman's clit. Think of Yoga mixed with rubbing some clit. That's basically what it is. I recently finished a introductory online course on how to do it. It covers to basics of OM with all the rituals and etiquette that goes along with it and to the end of the course there is a section that tells you how to find a OM partner which is crucial because you can't do it alone and you need someone who has a clit which I am clit less and have trouble with finding a partner so I thought this would be useful. Now I'm going to paraphrase this section but this is basically what this section was comprised of.
How to find a OM partner
Step 1: Make a list of everyone you would like to be your partner it doesn't matter if it's realistic.
CHECK!
Step 2: Narrow the list you made to people in your area.
CHECK!
Step 3: Out of the people in your area pick 5 people who you trust and ask them to be your partner.
God damn it!
The Oming practice is presented as gender neutral, sexuality neural and being in a relationship isn't improtant but if you're a guy and single that's not how you ask someone if you can touch their most intimate area of their bodies. You can't just go up to women ask them to OM if you don't have a rapport with them. Especially if you follow the protocol for asking for a OM in the course. It's literally impossible for someone to find a OM partner outside of the oming community if they're single.
I think oming is a great way exploring sexuality in a different way but those who advocate for it are stuck in a bubble. With the rigidity of the rituals they lose the reality of the male female dynamic. The cultures of clitoris isn't a place for single losers like me.
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Random thoughts and repeating myself.
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Posted:Sep 9, 2016 10:01 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2016 10:30 pm
7766 Views
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I wonder what women think of my profile. I've always receive notices that someone has view my profile. A lot actually. About three a day but I've only received four messages. One from Affairlook welcoming me to the site and two spam messages from couples that send out generic messages to everyone. I'm really curious of what makes a person send a message to someone. I know I asked that question before but I never got a answer. I got a lot of responses and I appreciate them but I didn't get a straight answer. Is it personality or is it just sex appeal or is it a combination of both. I've messaged my fair share of women. I went with a 30 / 70 split on looks to personality. I usually go for the personality over the looks. If a girl stands out with her mind I send a message. If a woman is gorgeous I usually don't send a message if she's basic. Play a harpsichord or say your favorite game is magic the gathering or name then expect a message from me. Which all becomes a mute point when no one messages me back. I get it your can do better ladies.
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Why I don't celebrate my birthday
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Posted:Sep 9, 2016 3:25 am
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2016 10:31 pm
7241 Views
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Tomorrow marks what I like to call the birthday gauntlet. It's when my mother starts preparing for her birthday on the 13. Ending with my sisters birthday on October 23rd. In the middle of those being my birthday and three cousins. The birthday gauntlet is the reason I haven't had a birthday party since I was 10. No celebration of any kind since the age of 16 where I bought myself a dope Adidas jacket and shoes with my first paycheck.
The gauntlet goes like this. First mom throws a blowout for herself and since my family doesn't have much money. My birthday celebration 8 days later gets postponed due to lack of funds. Although my cousin gets her present for her birthday two days after mine because you know...appearances. Then a couple of weeks later another cousin another celebration another gift another postponed birthday for this guy due to lack of funds due to bills. Then another cousins birthday and my sisters birthday. Which get their celebrations. Then we come to The holiday season. Starting with Halloween and ending with new years and of course they get the attention and everyone kind of forgets about me.
I'm seen as the weird because I don't celebrate my birthday. It's because after all these years of the birthday gauntlet I don't see the need to waste money on a party. It's unnecessary. I still get older and who am I to break a 20 year tradition.
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(verified ) Tits pervert
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Posted:Sep 5, 2016 10:25 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2016 10:31 pm
9118 Views
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I was bored last night so I finally verified my profile so now I have a nice blue check next to my face when people visit my page. So rest assured people that is my face and yes, I am that fucking good looking. Ok calling myself didn't feel right but fuck it let's stick with it. Anyway on a unrelated note, Tits. I've kind of been obsessed with them lately. And by obsessed I mean I've been giving them way more attention then I ever have before in my life. I've always been a more geared towards asses than tits. I really never paid much attention to tits unless of course a women had a particularly spectacular pair. I'm only human.
Titties to the left of me, Titties to the right of me, Titties in front of me. Bouncy and inviting. That's basically been my existence for the last couple of days. Women on the street, Women in movies, even Serena Williams wasn't safe from me staring at her chest. Which has never happened before like I said earlier. It's strange. And of course I channel my sexual energy into research. Turns out that tits are fascinating. Did you know that women can have a orgasm through nipple stimulation? It's called a n-spot orgasm. Now I know how to give a nipple orgasms but no nipple so to try it out on. What else is new.
I hope I get over this breast phase before I get arrested for staring at some women's tits. But until then I'll have to endure.
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I'm unfuckable I swear!
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Posted:Sep 4, 2016 8:06 pm
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2016 2:32 pm
10128 Views
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So I was told not to keep telling people I'm a virgin...Didn't listen. I asked a question on this site and told people that I was a virgin. You know to add context and for the first time one this site I got accused of lying about my virginity by quite a few people. It kind of got to me. Maybe it's because I've been spoiled by everyone I met on Affairlook before this happened and I forgot that this was a possibility that it got to me but it got to me. Like what guy lies about not getting pussy. It doesn't work that way. It's not like women go for virgins. Being a virgin get chicks wet just the opposite. Just the thought of fucking a virgin turns their pussies into sandpaper. While I appreciate the thought that I must have gotten some pussy by now but I've never had sex. I have a face that screams unfuckable.
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My mom thinks I'm gay and other ramblings
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Posted:Sep 2, 2016 10:25 pm
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2016 8:57 pm
9699 Views
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Me and my mom have a little ritual we do. Every time we talk she asks me if I have a girlfriend. I say no of course then she gives me subtle leading "Are you gay" questions. Though out the talk like if we're at a restaurant and the waitress smiles at me which is apart of her job I'll get the "Do you think she's pretty" or the Is she your "type" and every now and again I'll get the blunt "If you where gay, you could tell me and it would be fine". Even though I think it's obvious that I'm a boring old heterosexual but I get it. I've never had a girlfriend in my life. How exactly do you get one. In the movies it seems so simple. You ask a girl out, she says yes, after a few dates your a couple. It doesn't really happen that way for me. I ask a girl out, she says no, which is not in the fucking movies. Now what? Do you keep pursuing her. That happens in the movies sometimes. Or that could be seen as stalking and they arrest people for that now this isn't the 90s anymore but some women like to be pursued. It makes them feel wanted I guess but only if she likes you. So figure out if she likes you while she pushes you away and there's a chance you can get a restraining order in the mail.
Just meeting someone is hard. There's work which I work with all guys so that's no good. There's family and friends which I have no friends that would set me up with someone and my family is a ditto. There's online dating which doesn't work for me. I wonder who actually gets a girlfriend online that just seems like magic to me. Also getting a women interested in you is sorcery. I don't know how it works. Come to think of it I cant understand this whole human pair bonding thing.
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Taking a break from porn
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Posted:Aug 31, 2016 1:32 am
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2016 5:33 pm
7853 Views
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Porn is great until it's not. At least that's my point of view. Granted not many people go as hard as I do when it comes to porn but being a virgin it's my only outlet to express my sexuality. Now I'm not one of those guys that can lose a 2 week vaction on a porn binge. There's a so much labia and cock shafts I can take until I have to back off. It's like when you eat a big meal a even if someone brings out your favorite food you're just like "Dude get it away from me, I can't I'm so full." That's me and porn. I'm at my limit. Anything more just gluttony.
There's another aspect at play with my decision. I'm kind of sick of watching other guys fuck. I'm just waiting for the guy to break the forth wall and say "Alone again aren't you loser, Not me. You just sit there with your dick in your hand and watch me do what you can't." And I can't live off of lesbian porn. For the record I don't watch lesbian porn I watch straight women who love pussy porn. Actual lesbian porn is boring. What feels best isn't entertaining. Not straight women who tolerate pussy for the money because we've all seen those strange porn where there's a lot of tounge but no contact. straight women who love pussy but that's another blog.
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Misunderstandings
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Posted:Aug 29, 2016 9:39 pm
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2016 8:28 pm
9968 Views
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I studied economics before I dropped out. Not the useful one about money the other one. The study of mindful human action. I loved it. I know that A+B doesn't always equal C. Because humans have for a lack of a better word free will. Also humans live in a world of limited goods to a satisfy their wants. That just a fancy way of saying just because something seems obvious doesn't always mean it's the case. And people will always do what's best for them and you can't always guess what that is. Although you can make some assumptions based on the constant that people will always do what they see is the what's best for them. Depending on their needs or what they value most.
I sometimes forget that not everyone thinks like a economist. And I have to be more sensitive to other people's world view. That's just a fancy way of saying shut up and be supportive. You don't need to question people's logic if it doesn't fit what you know about what drives human behavior. Feelings are valid.
I'm sorry to anyone I upset with my insensitivity.
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Dick pic fail
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Posted:Aug 28, 2016 4:17 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2016 5:39 pm
8798 Views
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Well I can't say I haven't sent a dick anymore. I was chatting with another member on this site when out of the blue she asked to see a dick pic. Not thinking she was serious I did the whole I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Thinking she would say "No, loser! Go away with this foolishness". That's how I hear things in my head. No she didn't tell me to go away. She actually went all in with a full pussy shot. Now I've never received a pussy pic so this is all new to me. I've never had this happen before. I was surpised but anxious because now I have to hold up my end of the bargain now. So I start to *ahem* get ready. Because nobody wants to see a flaccid penis that's just rude. After a couple of minutes let's just say I over prepared and now I have no pictures and a exhausted penis. I also *ahem* over prepared twice a hour ago so my dick is borderline dead. But my dick is a trooper so I go one more round, give it the old college try and get it to about 30% snap a quick pic and send it. Have to say it wasn't good. I Black Dynamite had nothing left to give. So I tried to explain that I jerked off and lied about the effort I gave and hoped for the best.
So that's how my night went how about you.
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To link to this blog (CeriosEros) use [blog CeriosEros] in your messages.
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