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Into the Mouth of Madness
 
Observations on life, relationships, or whatever the hell else I feel like displaying for all you people...
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Wishful thinking testimonials?
Posted:Nov 15, 2009 11:00 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2011 3:11 am
5228 Views

What is it with people who post (and those who approve) all those stupid wishful thinking/compliment only testimonials? Testimonials are supposed to be for when you meet someone, saying how they fit your expectations and what they were like. It's silly seeing someone with like 200+ testimonials, and having only a few (or none) be from people who have actually met them. Why the hell do you put up a "testimonial" with nothing but empty praise, a desire to meet, your e-mail address (which you really shouldn't put out there like that where everyone can see it), ASCII artwork, or demands for them to come to your area?

Just seems like a waste of time and effort, to me.
0 Comments
Valentine's Day...
Posted:Feb 6, 2009 11:49 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2009 3:49 am
5098 Views

Here we go again, another Valentine's Day on it's way. The day where stores (especially jewelery stores) go that extra mile to try to make weak-minded suckers believe that being alone on Valentine's Day makes them an utter loser, and that the only way to gain someone's love is to buy it with overexpensive jewelery and gifts.

Unfortunately for me, love does seem to be in the air, as earlier in the month I had a potential FWB find a boyfriend, and therefore didn't trust themselves to hang out with me a second time to have some homemade fettucine alfredo (I guess that's a compliment towards my sexiness... or my cooking ability, I dunno). And just within the past few days, my established pretty-consistent FWB got a boyfriend, too, so I lost my only semi-consistent nookie/companionship to the love bug.

Looks like ol' bitter Aftershock is gettin' left behind. Any of my faithful readers getting the same thing happening to them, or perhaps gettin' hit by the love bug themselves?
0 Comments
I'm back...
Posted:Dec 26, 2008 12:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2012 10:22 pm
5674 Views

I've returned from my little family vacation listed in my previous blog post... a day earlier than expected, because the weather was so bad up in Michigan we had to do the present exchanging a day early so we could leave on Christmas day, as the weather on Friday was looking extra atrocious.

I had a decent time, though it snowed constantly, so we were snowed in and unable to go out and do anything the whole time, which kind of sucked. I was also reminded why I don't talk to my family much... on the drive up, when I took over it took less than three minutes for both my mother and my brother to start giving me shit about my driving and for my brother to display A) his lack of trust in my abilities and my observance of care when driving with my mother, brother, sister-in-law and two of my neices in the car with me, when the car belongs to my brother's mother-in-law and his thoughts that he could read me, as in determine my actions based on my postures, after not being around me for over three years. A huge snowstorm during the drive causing the trip to take over 12 hours instead of the planned 6, combined with the house we were staying at not even having a DVD player and only three TV stations (which caused my nervous condition to flare up and make me all twitchy and on-edge) made the first day... a bit disasterous.

Things settled down a bit after that, and at one point I had a talk with my brother where I displayed my concerns about his lack of respect towards me, and my aunt bringing over a DVD player for us, made things a little better, but overall I see there's a good reason for these kinds of family gatherings to happen like once or twice a year at most... we'd kill each other otherwise.

Hope everyone else (who reads this) had a good holiday, and thank goodness Christmas is finally past, so we have a near-year break from all this Christmas bullshit. Bah humbug.
1 comment
Takin' a trip
Posted:Dec 19, 2008 7:31 pm
Last Updated:Dec 25, 2008 9:43 pm
5646 Views

Hey, all, just wanted to let all of you (who read my blog) know that I'm headin' up north for a family vacation thingy with my mother, brother and sister in law from the 20th to the 26th. Hope your holidays all go all right, and at least you don't have any disasters.

Got my unemployment filed, so when I get back, it's nose to the grindstone job-huntin' time.
1 comment
Finally happened...
Posted:Dec 16, 2008 5:11 pm
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2008 3:19 am
5790 Views

Well, it finally happened... I got fired from my job. I mean, I figured it was gonna happen eventually, with everything going downhill like it was... in all honesty, it kinda feels like I tripped and fell over the side of a ship that was already sinking. Just didn't expect it this soon.

Saddest part is, I was one of the best techs they had, and my boss did all he could to prevent me getting fired, but the thing I forgot happened to be part of a policy where it implicitly outlines what happens if such a thing occurs, so his hands were tied. He even said he was irritated that he had to do it, because he said I was setting a really good example for the other techs with my actions, and without me there, he was worried that things would start to go downhill again.

Now, the thing that really sucks about this is the company, for some convoluted bullshit reason, doesn't allow anyone you worked for in the company to give you a reference... you have to give your potential employers some 800 number that says some generic bullshit, 'cause my boss really wanted to give me a good reference. He told me to put him down as a reference anyway, and he'd say as much as he possibly could, then give them the 800 number for me.

It's not 100% bad, though... at least I was already living pretty well below my means, so I've got a good cash buffer, and the 60+ hours of paid time off I'd accrued gets sold and (though heavily taxed by IRS law) given to me as a check, so I've got a little safezone to support me while I look for a new job.

Wish me luck.
1 comment
Two months of hell...
Posted:Nov 11, 2008 8:37 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2008 4:38 am
5620 Views

Well, I went to Walmart this evening just to buy some paper towels, and (as expected) they already had their Christmas decorations up, and Christmas music playing. Slowly but surely, Christmas is devouring other holidays... Halloween has survived the Yuletide assault so far because the stores can make money on cheap decorations, costumes and lots and lots of candy. Thanksgiving isn't a holiday for anything but food and family, so the stores have come to completely ignore it, 'cause they can't really profit off of it.

As it is, I hate Christmas music, mostly for the consumer whoreism that it's come to represent. Usually it just gets on my nerves, for the fact they play it EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE for TWO MONTHS STRAIGHT. Now, however, it seems to have gotten worse... just one song in Walmart, and it was like it was assaulting my soul... I got a headache and slightly nauseous after only about 30 seconds of Christmas music, and it took all I had to finish my purchase and not just drop the paper towels and run out of there as quickly as possible. It seems I've developed some kind of mental allergy to holiday music, which does NOT bode well for me, 'cause normally the casino starts playing constant holiday music starting the beginning of December, at the latest.

This could be very, very bad for me.
1 comment
No replies... rude as I think it is?
Posted:Aug 10, 2008 11:27 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2012 10:23 pm
5784 Views

A question for the ladies... now, first off, let me explain that I know that, in general, a woman gets a lot more mails/flirts/views than the average male on this website, simply because of the ratio (and how society has made females taking the initiative less likely).

Now, with that out of the way, should I still find it rude when a female doesn't reply to an e-mail message I send to her, especially when none of the messages I send are one-line, half-literate messages that are a couple steps away from spam? Now, I understand people are busy, but Affairlook implemented both an auto-reply feature and a quick-reply feature for messages, and I'd rather get SOMETHING like, "I'm busy, give me a bit to respond" or "I'm not interested, sorry" rather than being ignored.

So, is a complete lack of reply to a decently-written message as rude as I think it is, or am I overreacting here?
2 Comments
Cyber or Erotic RP? (Plus an example of my work)
Posted:Aug 3, 2008 11:32 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2012 10:23 pm
5635 Views

I recently had a conversation with a friend who I first met online and had quite a bit of online fun with before we met in person. I was asking her about the cybersex she had with other guys, and she mentioned that we had never actually had cybersex. I asked her why she said that, and she said it was because what me and her did (and, I guess by extension, what me and every other woman I had online relations with did) was beyond cybersex, and was more into the realm of erotic roleplaying.

Now I, personally, cannot bring myself to do stuff online without making a setting, establishing clothing and props, and making it like we're scripting out a sex scene between us IRL... now, is that not cybersex? As an example, here's a session (for the lack of a better term) I had with a friend of mine a while ago... I have to ask A) what do you think, overall, of it's quality and would you categorize it as "cybersex" or "erotic roleplaying"? Or something else entirely?

Ezmerelda: *does hindu bow* whatever you desire
Aftershock: *smiles, and steps close. Making a quick sidestep around you as you're bowing, he puts his hands on your waist and moves them slowly up your ribs, straightening you up against his chest and pulling you back against him*
Ezmerelda: *purrs softly as she feels the draft of you walk past her as you step around her, her body shivering as you trail your hands up her, pressing her body against yours as you pull her to you, a slow grin on her face*
Aftershock: *moves his hands up further, cupping your breasts through your top. Squeezing lightly, he then moves your hair aside with his chin and begins to kiss your pale neck, the slight tickle from his beard and moustache overridden by the pleasant sensation caused by his talented lips and teeth, kissing and nibbling lightly as his palms knead your soft breasts*
Ezmerelda: *moans quietly as you knead her breasts, her head falling to the side baring her neck for you, a quiet purr running through her as you turn her on, a quick giggle escaping her as you tickle her neck, then pleasure as you kiss her. Gently wiggling against you as you make her squirm...
Aftershock: *kneads your breasts for a moment longer, then his hands trail down your chest and stomach, until they reach the bottom of your shirt. Slipping underneath the material, they slide slowly up your flat stomach, so lightly as to cause goosebumps to appear beneath them as they trek upwards, finally reaching your breasts again. Massaging this time through your bra, the heat of his palms is more prevalent through the silky material as your nipples harden further under his ministrations*
Ezmerelda: *whimpers softly as you tease her, goose bumps quickly appearing as you trail her stomach, arching back against you she rests her head on your shoulder, moaning unintelligent words as you tease her, her nipples hardening instantly as you begin to rub them, wrapping her arms around you backwards to pull you closer to her, she whimpers as she is trapped on you and can't torture you as you torture her
Aftershock: *you feel his lips twist into a grin against your neck as you mumble, and he then slowly begins to kiss up your neck, along your face, until finally he reaches your lips with his own. Capturing you in his lip's embrace, he kisses you deeply, slowly beginning to explore with his tongue as his hands slip away from your breasts, tracing your bra line to your back, where he begins to loosen the catches on your bra one by one.*
Ezmerelda: *a quiet giggle escapes her lips as your facial hair begins to tickle her again, arching her back as your hands trail to the hooks of her bra, hearing them pop off one by one she moans quietly, her hands limp by her sides, she brings them up behind her to catch a hold of your waist band, to hold on as you make all rational thought escape her brain, shivering as your tongue begins to taste her, eyes closing to simply feel you.
Aftershock: *finishes unclasping the final hook of your bra, slowly pulling it free from under your shirt with his left hand as his right moves back to your front to cup your now-freed right breast, capturing the nipple quickly between his thumb and forefinger and twisting it lightly, pinching it once before palming your breast once more, his left hand soon joining it at it's respective breast, capturing both your nipples between his middle and rings fingers of each hand as he massages them both firmly, as his tongue slides into your mouth to find it's partner.*
Ezmerelda: *moans into your kiss as you pinch her now extremely hard nipples, her chest rising and falling with excitement as you torture her, body squirming to meet your hands, as she lips her tongue along yours, tasting teasing, testing, you, devouring your taste her hands still stuck in your waistband gripping for dear life, as you make her already weak knees turn to wax, arching against your hands, pressing herself further into you....mmm you are making me very turned on....
Aftershock: *continues to massage your left breast with his hand as his right hand travels back down your stomach, refreshing the goosebumps that remain there. Reaching the waist of your pants, he slowly wriggles his hand inside, reaching inside your panties as well, feeling the heat rising from you. Dipping his hand between your legs, he parts your wet pussy lips with his fore and ring finger, and dips his middle finger along your slit, collecting some of your honey as your knees buckle again. Pulling his hand back out carefully, he moves his hand back outside your shirt and moves it to your kissing lips, dipping the honey-coated finger between your lips as you kiss, letting you both taste your excitement as his hand moves back down and under your shirt again to continue teasing your breasts.*
Ezmerelda: *her body quivers as you trail your hand down her stomach again, a quiet moan escaping her as you slips your hand into her silk wet panties, her legs parting for you to touch her, arching against you as you touch her, feeling your fingers slip on her already wet pussy, begging for more as you allow her to taste herself mingled with your taste as she continues to feverishly kiss you, her arms brining you closer to her, as you still have her trapped against you
Aftershock: *smiles again, and suddenly moves his hands away from your breasts, down your ribs again to grasp the bottom of your shirt from the inside. Pulling back away from you, breaking the kiss, he suddenly spins you around to face him while simultaneously pulling your shirt up, leaving it around your head with your arms trapped upwards, your breasts exposed. Unable to see, you suddenly feel his beard touch your sternum, and soon after feel his lips touch down upon your chest. He is soon kissing down your chest, moving to your left breast, slowly running his tongue under it's curve and circling inward towards your nipple slowly, torturously, until finally his tongue licks around your areola lightly before his lips wrap around your left nipple, and he begins to suckle and nibble it.*
Ezmerelda: *ghasps as you twist her around, her nipples harden even further as the cool air from leaving them bare reaches them, her arms trapped upward, her eyes blind she moans as she feels your mouth moving over her, a moan escaping her, as you tease her with your tongue, arching against your lips as you slowly, slowly make it to her nipple, a more audible moan escaping her lips through her shirt as you suckle and nibble on her hardened nipple, a shiver escaping her as she feels herself become more excited as you slowly arouse her, with your surprising movements.
Aftershock: *sucks and nibbles at your left nipple for a time, then suddenly detaches himself. As you sit for a moment, blind, wondering what will happen next, he suddenly attaches his mouth to your right nipple with no warning, making you jump in suprise as you feel the warm moisture of his mouth over your right nipple, your left now colder and harder than ever from the cool air going over it in it's wetted state. You then feel his hands shift as he grips both your thin wrists together with the long, strong fingers of his right hand as his left disappears from your awareness, only to reappear on your left breast, kneading it and pinching the nipple between his fingers as his mouth worships your right nipple and breast.*
Ezmerelda: *jumps out of her skin as you surprise her, moaning quietly as she feels how hard her left nipple has become, a whimper escaping as your hands entrap her, in your right, yelping softly as you pinch her left nipple, and suckle her right, hoards of feelings rushing through her, she squirms on the bed, in her sitting position, enjoying the feel of you trapping her, not allowing her to touch you, to see, squirming as she feels her heat getting wetter with each torment.
Aftershock: *worships your breasts for what feels like eternity, moving from left to right, until finally you feel his hand release it's grip on your wrists, freeing you to escape the blinding confines of your shirt if you so choose as you almost immediately feel both his hands on the front of your pants, quickly releasing the catches and tugging downward on both pants and panties together, slowly tugging them down your ass, though they catch between the edge of the bed and the bottoms of your thighs on the way down.*
Ezmerelda: *wildly rips off her shirt tossing it over to the side grasping on your shoulders to hold herself up as she moans then so primitively as she feels you tugging on her pants, moaning as she now feels her legs trapped as her heat is bared, glistening from the wetness, panting softly as you continue to excite her...her hands crawling down your back to rip off your shirt, she violently removes it and runs her nails over you flicking your nipples teasingly before she trails them back up around your neck, vibrating with excitement
Aftershock: *smiles at you, growling lightly under his breath as he stares deep into your beautiful eyes, trapping them in his gaze as you see him stand and begin to remove his own pants, dropping them to the ground as you see the enormous bulge in his boxer shorts just out of the bottom of your peripheral vision.*
Ezmerelda: * gazes at you while you remove your clothes, simply blinded by the beauty, and amazed at forgetting how impressive you were, she watches, her heat getting more excited as she watches, her legs still trapped as she trails her sight over your body, your chest, your hips, your increasingly large bulge, growling back at you.*
Aftershock: *tugs harder at your pants, finally pulling them past your butt and down to your ankles, trapping your legs together by your feet. Dropping quickly to his knees, he suddenly lifts your feet up with his left hand, making you fall back onto the bed with your butt exposed towards him. Soon, you feel his warm tongue slide up and down your exposed slit, your thighs currently pressed together as your pants dangle from your ankles, your feet slightly crossed with your shapely ankles held in his powerful grip as his talented mouth begins to suck your tightly-pressed pussy, his lips pressing against your outer labia as his tongue slowly tries to penetrate your tightness.*
Ezmerelda: *yelps playfully as you pull her pants down to her ankles and trap her on the bed, feeling exposed as her rear hangs off the bed, moaning loudly with pleasure as she begins to feel your tongue trail her slit, bucking against your hold on her ankles wanting to open her legs for you, but not allowed as you lock her, her arms thrown over her head gripping the spread, whimpering as you suck and lick her, moaning as you try to slip into her, bit by bit, her eyes closing as she bucks against your ever creative lips, moaning more and more as she feels herself getting wetter with each torment you do.*
Aftershock: *feels the tug of your ankles, and finally adjusts his grip on them, crossing them and allowing your thighs to fall open, and you see his shaved head slowly become revealed through the diamond shape your thighs create, his powerful tattooed arm flexing as he holds your ankles firmly above him, his eyes looking up from under his dark brows as he dives further into your now-opened slit, his moustache tickling at your clit as his tongue dives deep into you, scooping your honey into his mouth before his lips move up to suck on your clit, then back down to your slit, his beard becoming soaked with your juices.*
Ezmerelda: *a sigh escapes her as you allow her ankles to fall open, exposing herself to you, looking down at you as you dive into her again, a quick moan escaping her as she bucks under your tongue, her body climbing higher and higher, not knowing what you want her to do, her first orgasm ever so close as you suck her clit and insert yourself into her, moans escaping her, over and over again, squirming as she feels your face and lips love her
Aftershock: *sucks and licks you further and further, until finally you crest over your first orgasm. As you buck and scream, you are dimly aware that he has stood up, and his boxer shorts are now gone. Bobbing in your blurred vision, viewed through the diamond formed by your legs, his 7 1/2" member stands tall, the mocha skin darkened to purple at the head, a dribble of precum slowly forming at the tip as it slowly bobs up and down with his hearbeat.*
Ezmerelda: *screams your name violently as she cums violently, and eyes widen as she sees your member appear between her thys her body still bucking and quaking from her first orgasm, her chest heaving a moan escaping as she can only imagine what you will do to her with that lovely member...
Aftershock: *not even letting you fall completely from the high of your first orgasm, he quickly spreads his knees slightly and lands them on either side of your ass on the edge of the bed. Still holding your ankles aloft with his left hand, he uses his right to direct his long member to your slit, and the heat of the head sliding up and down your slit brings you back up a bit until suddenly he dives into you, your intense wetness making the transition smooth and quick, and soon he's buried to the hilt in your sweet pink canal. Not yet thrusting, he simply holds it inside you, smiling down at you wickedly as he again stares into your beautiful eyes intently, waiting for you to make a move.*
Ezmerelda: *moans loudly as she feels you enter her, her legs upward she throws one on the other side of your head, so they rest on your shoulders, wrapping her feet around your neck, she brings her hand to her already heaving pussy and cups your balls while pressing one finger to her clit to make your expierence so much better, not only allowing you to pleasure her, but assisting you in doing so she gently massage your balls, and raises her hips to slip you in deeper making the first move....wondering mmmm is this heaven?
Aftershock: *grins, then slowly begins to thrust, pulling until your arm reaches it's full length to still be able to cup his balls, then slamming into you firmly, slowly at first, then more quickly, getting a rhythm down as he begins to fuck you hard, grapsing your hips with his now-free hands to keep you in place as each hard thrust pushes you back slightly, his balls slightly slapping your ass as they escape your grip momentarily with each thrust, a deep growl growing in his chest.
Ezmerelda: *moans with each thrust as she feels him grip her hips keeping me firmly in place, her hands reaching out for your balls with each thrust, whimpering as the rythiem keeps up, her right hand trailing up your stomach and torso to flick at your nipples while you slam into her, her body growing and moving higher and higher with each thrust, moans escaping her lips as you growl
Aftershock: *continues to thrust, watching your face and body react with a practiced eye, only the ever-increasing tempo of his growl defying his iron control. As he sees the tell-tale signs of a second orgasm approaching, he suddenly increases his thrusting frequency, beginning to fuck you at such an intense speed that only your incredible wetness prevents the friction from becoming painful as he commands, in a deep, throaty growl, "Cum for me again, Ezmerelda."
Ezmerelda: *me simply nods as she can't hold herself in and spills cum all over his cock, over and over as his speed increases, his name escaping on a scream from her mouth as she begs for more, more you simply you, begging for you to cum for her, as she orgasms moaning louder each time, simply preparing to cum on you again, she does so over and over...
Aftershock: *grins wickedly as you cum on him, his teeth a glistening white semicircle in the blackness of his beard, then suddenly stares at you with incredible intensity. Mere seconds later, he suddenly opens his mouth wide, and his eyes roll back in his head as he roars loudly, and you feel his cock explode inside you, his hot sperm filling you with another spurt every thrust, his pulsing cock causing you to cum yet again as he fills you with his seed.*
Ezmerelda: *whimpers and moans as you fill her, feeling your seed shoot into her she says your name before she simply dies on the bed...allowing you to come with her, she curls up into you for a nice long nap, cuddling against you...as she begins to pet you quietly, still quaking from the roar and orgasm that left her weak.
Aftershock: *smiles contendedly as he spoons you carefully, his furry body warming you as you drift into a peaceful slumber in his arms*
0 Comments
What's with the "black guys only" thing?
Posted:Jul 25, 2008 11:17 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 7:59 am
5191 Views

Now, before anyone even thinks it, this isn't a racist post. Hell, I'm half Puerto-Rican/half Dutch (with some Native American sprinkled in for flavor). I always judge someone by who they are, not what they are.

With that out of the way, I gotta ask... what's with all the profiles out there with white women seeking out only black men? Now, I know everyone has their preferences, but I haven't seen any other race specifically mentioned as much as black guys... and it's always white women who ask for them. The part that really gets me about the whole thing is some women say they prefer black men... but there are some who are ONLY for black men, and no one else. Why the exclusivity? Is it the (shown by studies to be false) thing about black guys always being well hung? Or is it something else? I'm truly curious, enlighten me, please.
0 Comments
The "wedding ring" conundrum...
Posted:Jul 7, 2008 1:09 am
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2009 6:14 pm
5256 Views

After having a conversation with a co-worker tonight about how a female customer hit on him, but said, "I'm joking" after he mentioned he was married, and my own experiences with having it seem like a lot more women were hitting on me back when I was married, I gotta ask, ladies: Is there actually any particular thing about married guys that gets them more attention? Or is it just an appearance of getting more female attention, since every time a flirt comes across, or an apparent flirt, it's just more noticeable because you know you can't do anything about it? Thoughts?
0 Comments
Sudden changes of living situation...
Posted:Jun 23, 2008 11:35 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2008 11:07 pm
5201 Views

Well, I suddenly found out last night that my mother, who has lived with me since my dad divorced her when I was 21, is going to be moving down to Duncan, Oklahoma with my brother and sister in law at the end of July.

I can understand why, since her grandkids are down there, but I didn't even know this was in the works until yesterday, and that kinda sticks me with a $650 a month rent house to pay for by myself now. I make enough that I'm not gonna get kicked out or anything, but it's gonna be a huge pain in the ass, and I'm gonna be just scraping along instead of having enough to have fun with off and again. I'm kinda glad I ended up upgrading my computer now, when I had the funds.

I can't move into an apartment, because no apartment is gonna take two 100 pound dogs, no matter how well behaved they are (and mine are easily prompted to bark when they hear something they think is in "their territory"), so my best option is gonna be find a roommate. So I gotta find a roommate who I can A) trust to not touch or mess with my stuff and can handle living with two 100-pound dogs. I'm not looking forward to this search, as I just know it's not gonna be easy.
0 Comments
Cunnilingus 101
Posted:Jun 13, 2008 10:53 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2012 12:59 pm
5447 Views

Well, since I've gotten on this site, I've met a couple people. The last one I met I had a conversation with afterward about the "benefits" portion of the meeting, and one part we ended up discussing is cunnilingus, and all the basic rules of female arousal that most men ignore. So, I decided to make a post about some of the basic rules I've learned about female arousal to hopefully give assistance to all those ladies out there with less-than-perfect lovers.

Oh, and I'm not worried about "giving away trade secrets", because everything I'm writing I've read somewhere else, and I'm going to assume the majority of men will ignore this anyway, since a lot of them think they're perfect and have no room for improvement. Note, BTW, that I know I'm no "sexpert", and nothing is black and white. Not every rule will apply to every situation, but they're just good general rules of thumb.

1) When a woman is experiencing something sexual that she enjoys, she does not prompt the same reaction as a man would. Men usually want you to go faster and harder when something feels good... women just want you to continue with exactly what you're doing, with no changes in speed, location, or intensity. Increasing your tempo or pressure just overstimulates and ruins it.

2) Don't pay attention to porn movies. When a guy eats a girl out in a porno, he has to leave room for the camera to see what's going on. Unless you're making your own home movie, there's no camera for you to worry about, so dive in wholeheartedly. If your mouth and chin don't look like a glazed donut when you're done, you're doing something wrong.

3) Two important moves you gotta remember with your tongue are the flat swipe and the sharp jab. You gotta alternate between long, flat strokes with your tongue up and down the inner and outer labia, with "flexing" your tongue to harden it and thrusting it into her canal. Suck and kiss the clit once it's exposed, but don't concentrate on it until she's near the edge, or (again) you'll overstimulate her and mess up your rhythm. You can also use the light tongue flick, or "butterfly kiss", but don't concentrate on it like they do in pornos, just slip it into your rhythm now and again.

4) Remember, you've got her whole body to worry about, even when you're eating her out. So, try not to forget that you have two perfectly good hands that are useable for more than keeping her thighs spread. Reach up, tweak a nipple, stick a couple fingers in and make a "beckoning" motion while you kiss her clit, or even just run your fingertips lightly over her belly and thighs. Just don't let your hands sit there, because you're wasting potential.

5) The final, and most important tip: PAY ATTENTION and LISTEN TO WHAT SHE SAYS. The number one way to find out what a woman likes when you're in ANY sexual situation is simply pay attention to how she reacts, and ask her if you're doing it right. Now, don't get me wrong, asking over and over again like the "Can you hear me now?" guy is the wrong approach, but don't just sit there confused and guessing. She wants you to know what turns her on just as much as you do, because "letting him explore and discover on his own" only goes so far before she gets impatient.

So, any comments from the ladies? Did I miss anything important?
1 comment
A lot of BBWs aren't much of the first B. :P
Posted:Jun 7, 2008 12:31 am
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2008 5:41 am
5353 Views

I'm just curious. I keep seeing women listing themselves in their profile as BBWs, or putting their body type as Large or Ample, but when I see their picture, I just don't get it. Back when I first got on the 'Net, BBW meant you were a very large woman, usually over 250 pounds, sometimes 300+. Yet, I keep seeing women who maybe have a "muffin top" over their pants saying they're BBWs. Most "BBWs" I see on this site I would list body type as "Average", or "A Few Extra Pounds".

Now, I know women's self-body-image is usually pretty screwed up these days... I mean, seriously, what the hell's up with women's clothing sizing? Size zero? How does that even exist?!? If you're size zero, that should mean you don't exist.

Anyway, I for one believe that women need to stop overusing the BBW moniker. Leave it for the heavy woman fetishists and the "feeders". Take a more honest look at yourselves, and realize that a lot of you women out there aren't as big as you think you are, and just simply be beautiful.
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