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| Blogs > babykakes73 > The Spirituality of Passion |
one of the best articles I have ever read about relationships and love!
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one of the best articles I have ever read about relationships and love! the thing is: DO YOU REALLY WANT LOVE? A RELATIONSHIP? Are you kidding yourself? Lying to yourself and others? Are you a game player blaming everyone else instead of taking personal inventory? THINK ABOUT IT...do you "PROJECT" your own issues on to others? Example in sports: Joe Girardi says his team is inconsistant. WHAT? He's inconsistant. I have NEVER seen a MLB manager take out a player that had 2 HRs in that game (e.g. Jason Giambi in the AZ series)...and I have been a MLB fan since I was 12. Lots of us do that kind of thing and never assume responsibility. JOE, your team is inconsistant because you take hot hitters out of the line up and make them warm the bench to give your second stringers a chance...that's because you were never given the chance you thought you deserved and yet as MGR of the NYY you can't handle it. How does he expect to have anyone who is playing/batting "hot" consistantly? Joe is doing it to himself. This job is too big for him and instead of taking responsibility and CHANGING his managing style...he is doing the same thing BUT expecting a different result. That's insanity in MLB and in relationships. This is a typical self-sabatoging type of psychology. Folks, this is a common psychological phenomena known as PROJECTION. Please own your STUFF and move forward being a responsible person. ========================== GREAT ARTICLE BELOW ========================== Find the love you want! By Chelsea Kaplan Those who’ve been through a divorce or widowhood are often faced with a challenge: When love comes your way again, will you be ready? According to Dr. David Hawkins, author of Are You Really Ready for Love? 10 Secrets to Finding the One You Want, you can prep for love. It’s like learning any specific skill, such as playing the piano or learning a foreign language. “We must be intentional about learning all we can about love, and what healthy, loving relationships look like,” he says. “Approaching love naively will often lead to disappointment–and failed relationships.” When you’re looking for love the second time around, consider Dr. Hawkins’ tips: 1. Take notes on love “Finding the love you want requires learning all you can about love and what it takes to have a wholesome, loving relationship,” Dr. Hawkins says. “Healthy, exciting, energizing love will not walk up to your door–you must seek it.” In order to do so, figure out the kind of person you want and the gifts you offer such a relationship. “Develop a self-assurance based on this knowledge,” he says. “This kind of confidence is incredibly attractive to others.” 2. Understand your love history Dr. Hawkins believes understanding your family issues and past relationship baggage is essential to finding the love you want. “Understanding your love history means you have to work on your issues because you know that problems denied are intensified,” he says. Look to your past and learn from it–whether it involves a messy divorce or a blissful marriage that ended with widowhood. What were the best things you two shared? What would you do differently if you could have a do-over? Doing so will show that you’ve found a silver lining to your wounds–say, by developing a greater degree of sensitivity and availability. 3. Be emotionally available to both give and receive love in spite of being hurt previously, you need to prep yourself to take that ultimate risk–being vulnerable to another loving person. “This requires the ability to not only be loving in many ways (physically, emotionally, spiritually), but also to receive love–emotionally, physically and spiritually,” Dr. Hawkins explains. Having learned from past failures, you’re now more ready than ever to experience zest, joy, adventure and delight in love. 4. Eliminate any sabotaging character traits Come on, and admit it… We all have them–childish behaviors that can totally destroy love, such as patterns of blaming others for problems. “Such patterns, when repeated, can kill love,” says Dr. Hawkins. For example, if you tend to harbor resentment when upset rather than share your feelings in an honest manner, you’ll not only frustrate a future mate, but also not get your needs met in the process. Working to identify these patterns and endeavoring to eliminate them will help you find – and keep – love. You can look to your past for clues, or ask a trusted friend to share his or her insights with you. 5. Practice total honesty You’ve been hurt in the arena of love before. But if you’re looking for love or a committed relationship, don’t hide from that fact, says Dr. Hawkins. Accept it, and move ahead in a forthright way. “Make your intentions clear from the beginning, and then maintain that level of honesty throughout the relationship,” he says. “Many come to me complaining about game-playing, only to discover they’ve been active players in the game. Model what you want in a relationship and settle for nothing less.” Go out there with your head held high and find love again! |
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I have to agree with the article. You and I agree on something.
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1/21/2010 2:46 pm |
That's a great read. Thank you for sharing it 
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I think that too few men make themselves available emotionally because they don't take the time to understand what went wrong or more aptly what wasn't right to begin with. There is usually blame on all sides when a relationship, whether marriage or a long term bond with someone disolves. I think that more men should seek therapeutic resolution or at least attempt to find some objective professional to sort out some of their frustrations. Unfortunately, we don't do this enough as men and make unhappy decisions for ourselves, often repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
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