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| Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
lonely, i'm so lonely............
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lonely, i'm so lonely............ i started to post about a work experience and then realized that it might be construed as a breach of confidentiality. i am so careful about this at work as many of our are survivors of domestic violence or have mental health issues. i erased it. but then i thought to myself - isn't it odd that here, where i feel so free to talk about so many things, both emotional and intellectual, that i can't share something that i really need input on. i can't talk to anyone at work. i can't talk to any of my . i can't talk to people i know that might know parties involved. so i just sit with this thing. and it feels heavier and heavier - like a stone weighing me down. when i got a call earlier this morning from the family shelter, i realized as the acting PD went on and on about an employee, that this part of my job - being a receptacle for all the information and yet never able to share the burden of some of it - is the most difficult part. folks say, "how can you pick him up off the ground, all covered with vomit and excrement"(okay so they don't say excrement), but this is easy for me to do. it's easy to do the work, to find a detox, to get someone into the shower, to set up a scabies clinic, to do all that stuff. what isn't easy is being alone with so much of the information and the politics and the personnel issues and knowing that how you do that means staff get paid - or doesn't. i was wondering how much longer i will be able to keep working and i think i would prefer to work than not work. but at something where i am part of the group - not the boss. i am tired of being alone. i'd love to do case management again - what's your dream job? what about your work drives you apeshit? do you want to retire? You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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9/5/2006 11:28 am |
my dream job... ya know.. i don't know lol my job now drives me bonkers at times but i do love it. I would like to retire yea but i know i'd get bored =^..^=
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9/5/2006 5:12 pm |
I totally understand what you are talking about. My job has a great deal of this as well... although for different reasons. It really stinks not to be able to talk about some of this stuff. In my case, the folks I can talk to about it... all have too many agendas and politics... so you can't really discuss it in he way I sometimes feel I need to. In some ways that is why I am here. But even here there are things we just can't discuss. I feel like retiring all the time now... why, politics and just getting burnt out. It is too hard sometimes to get basic things done without it becoming complex and a production. I don't want the job to become me. My dream job... is to work for myself... start my own company that makes doing the right thing not something that conflicts with profits. I think it is actually possible to be ethical, socially responsible, and a profitable company all at the same time... we just seem to have decided that stock holder value is the only measure of a companies importance. I know absract... but sorry... can't really talk about it all... 
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9/5/2006 7:21 pm |
My dream job ... I sorta live it, I'm a lifelong caregiver. No matter what, there is someone that leans on me. And yet, in my little dark corner, there is just me when I feel that I need to explode ... the silence of the tree falls in the forest for no one to hear ... but I hear ya Sis. warm huggies 2ya ya know ya loved.
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9/6/2006 7:34 am |
i enjoy what i am doing now which is working with the elderly. It is stress full and the pay is not good so i will eventually have to do something else. i'd like to go back and finish nursing school or go into radiology and be an x-ray technician. Buttery Delight
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Wicked I can't completely understand but I think I do partially. I can't discuss my work very much due to certain reasons however sometimes I really need to. I am not sure what I would do if I could do anything. I do like that I get to help people with my work. I don't think I will be able to retire just because of having to support my family. ~It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved! Be Good to those around you! Blade
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9/8/2006 10:51 am |
Sis ... I'm ready when you are for the "Fall Colors" to surround me  Oh and I'm not taking your line... I'm sharing it with you Nekkie Friday~~ woohoooo! Miss ya, let's talk this weekend!
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