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| Blogs > female_4_u_2_pla > Vida's wonderful happenings |
Broken hearted
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Broken hearted I have learned that there is actually something that can break your heart more then the man you love. YOUR . Yep grown . I have spoken about how happy I have been about becoming a grandmother. Basically the past 5 months I have been using the baby to help me get over my Moms death. I have gotten the baby clothes and gave my n law a surprise baby shower that cost me 500 dollars. Because everything had to be in blue and pink because she doesn't want to know what it is and I am the only one that knows. So that way I could get all the stuff. They have enough cloths till the baby is a year old. I have helped her when her Dad got put in jail because her mom was being a bitch and said he hit her but he didn't I spent 3 days making sure the lawyer understood everything and went to Heaven a place for battered woman with my n law to explain that her mom was using them. It was in March I was informed that they no longer planned on naming the baby after me and they did that in front of my boss and her friends. Tonight my comes over still don't know why. Lately he doesn't come by. But anyway I was telling John he had to change his phone so it would ring at night incase she went into labor. I asked my if she was going to allow pictures or a video? He said neither then informed me that I wasn't allowed in the room while she was having the baby. I swear he slapped me. I asked why? He said that the doctor said only 3 people could be in there and she wasn't sure if it was going to be her dad or me so she decided it would be just Lee and her. Even with her dad and I that only makes 3 in the room. I started crying and asked him what he wanted and why he didn't take up for me. He said he tried. My ASS I know him when it comes to her its okay honey whatever you want. John says that I shouldn't be hurt or upset that it has nothing to do with me. I say yes it does what is so bad about a mother wanting to see her first grandchild born and hear her cry, to see the expression on my sons face when he first see's her and when my n law see's her. I am not asking to be down there watching I don't mind just holding her hand. I called her while my was here and she said that she just wants Lee and her in there and I asked why she didn't have an answer just I want just us in there. So Now I am so mad I want to strangle her and my and John. I think I have a right to be hurt. It seems they don't tell me anything I just accidentally find out by asking a question and he has to tell me . I am suppose to be watching the baby when she goes back to school but for some reason I have a feeling that she has changed her mind about that because Lee was asking me questions and I told him yes the house will be spotless right now I have 3<b> teenagers </font></b>home for the summer who I am trying to teach to do their chores. I have also been busy this past week my friends Dad died and I spent the week helping her at the funeral and everything else the week before was helping my n law. The week before that I was going to unemployment and hurting do to the stress of loosing my job. Sorry I am venting I just don't understand I just spoke to her about lamaze and she never said anything about not wanting me in there I figured if both my and I took it we could both help her since your first baby normally takes the longest and she is trying to go natural. I should have listened to myself when I had my 3rd . I told myself that once they where out of the house and married they where no longer mine because the wife had the say so when it came to babies and basically when he has time to do anything. But I thought he would be different he and I where like best friends and I had treated her like my . But WRONG AGAIN. I am not going to sit at a hospital for hours waiting for her to have a baby when they don't want me included. They can give me a call when the baby is born and I will come up to see her and bring her clothes over to her house. She just informed me last week that the baby had to come home in yellow its suppose to bring good luck so I have been going nuts trying to find a yellow dress. Should I even bother? I am juust sooo hurtttt. My didn't take up for me and my so called new could care less how I feel. Vida Hope everyon'e life is going great. Vida |
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7/1/2010 7:49 pm |
Hey it's ok to vent ... just what blogs are for at times eh  Ooops I hope none of them are on here too coz you just let the cat out of the bag in saying a yellow dress! lol. Hey darlin', don't feel too hurt and upset  I don't know what the norm is in the States but over here as far as my experience goes anyway, it's normally just the father only at the birth anyway.Hope all turns out with a happy ending ... I'm sure it will  Vida Hope everyon'e life is going great. Vida
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7/1/2010 7:41 pm |
Maybe the new daughter is insecure in her new role as a mother and therefor feels threatened by you with your experience..... Vida Hope everyon'e life is going great. Vida
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7/1/2010 7:38 pm |
Vida` As long as you and I have known each other, you know I'm not one to mince words. I say what's on my mind, and according to you, I've been correct more often than not. So, here's how I see it: 1. Not only do you have the privilege to feel hurt and angry over all of this, but it is your God given right to feel this way. No one, not me, John, Lee, or your daughter in law, can tell you how to feel, what to feel, or when to feel. They especially cannot make you feel any other way if what you truly feel is angry and hurt. 2. Ever since Lee and your daughter in law found out that they were going to have a child, you have done nothing but bend over backwards to help them with every aspect along the way. You have bent over backwards for them, (and your unborn grandchild), so many times over the last few months that you could list "contortionist" on a job resume under occupation. 3. On top of the above in #2, Lee and your daughter in law have literally had you on an emotional roller coaster, dealing with all of their bullshit. Never once in any of the conversations you and I have had, did you tell me that they were appreciative of your efforts, and I know I don't recall Lee ever saying "thank you". 4. I realize that a first time mother is going to be a little self-involved~ it's only natural. The experience of being pregnant and then later giving birth to your first born child is like no other experience ever. The same holds true for the husband, in discovering he's going to be a father for the first time. However, there is a big difference between being a little self-involved and being completely and totally selfish. 5. First, you gave your a daughter in law one very lovely, and expensive baby shower. No "thank you". Then, you helped your daughter in law again, over the whole thing between her Mom, Dad, the lawyer, and court. No "thank you" again. Then, they tell you they are no longer naming the baby after you, disgracing you in front of your boss and her friends. Next, they tell you that you can't be in the room. It seems to me that you have been taken out of the equation. You have given and given, and despite all the times they have hurt you, (as mentioned in #5), you still gave more. You are, other than the woman I am in love with, the most caring, loving, and giving person I know. The time for you to take time and take care of yourself came a long time ago Sis. I don't want to see you hurt further by their selfish actions. Focus on yourself, on your relationship with John, on finding work, and please know that there are two people who love you sincerely and truly~ the woman I love, and myself. Love you Vida Hope everyon'e life is going great. Vida
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7/1/2010 7:23 pm |
he thing is now a days it is about the family. Most mothers do go in with their daughters or sons. If she is shy then I hold her hand and she can squeeze mine as much as she wants. The biggest problem is they don't tell me anything I find out at the last minute and only because I happened to ask a question. He knows how important this is to me. I had C-sections with all my boys and with him I had it alone because he wouldn't wait. I myself think she is being a selfish bitch and I am tired of taking up for her with my son. Since they have met my son has been up her but and that is not coming just from me. He forgot his family. I have bent over backwards to have a good relationship with her she hasn't lifted up a pinkie. Vida Hope everyon'e life is going great. Vida
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Hey it's ok to vent ... just what blogs are for at times eh Ooops I hope none of them are on here too coz you just let the cat out of the bag in saying a yellow dress! lol. Hey darlin', don't feel too hurt and upset I don't know what the norm is in the States but over here as far as my experience goes anyway, it's normally just the father only at the birth anyway.Hope all turns out with a happy ending ... I'm sure it will
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6/28/2010 2:30 pm |
natural child birth?...shes about to get a lesson in pain she'll never forget...oh ive seen some real hardcore naturalists scream for the epidural once the show starts...but by then its to late  ...all your missing out on is seeing the birth of your grand child...your son could use a slap upside the head...respect thy mother...don't worry about the girl...natural child birth is gonna rip the fight right out of her...I'm 99.9% sure of that. personally i think you should be allowed in...its a grand mothers right...you'll see the baby soon enough...plus you wont have to listen to her scream...we used to laugh at the natural child birth people...especially if its her first...there still going to give her the option to tap out....i strongly suggest she takes them up on there offer.Vida Hope everyon'e life is going great. Vida
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