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Transitioning continues
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Transitioning continues I haven't blogged for a few days but i had an experience this week that adds to my transition. I met with a great cd yesterday and she showed me how to tuck. She has a g string that pulls my cock back and if i work it right gives an illusion of a vj. The look is great and I am hooked. She also paid me the best complement. She comes by for our first date. She needs to dress so I give her a place to change. I wasn't ready for her either as she shows up an hour early. I get all dressed up for her and go to the family room to wait. I am sitting there enjoying a gin and tonic and i hear a text message come in on my phone. I read it and it is her and she is freaked out. She had seen a woman walking around and said is your wife home. I smiled and told her no it was just me dressed up. I smiled at the thought that someone really believed I was a girl. He finally comes out and we kiss and play a bit. She keeps looking at me. She smiles and apologizes and tells me how hot I looked. WellI blushed feeling a rush go through me. We sat and talked and we made out. She shows me her pussy and well that was hot. I played and sucked her off. She offered to show me how she achieved the look and instructed me on the use of her unique "g-string". The feeling is amazing but I wasn't quite able to get the full vj affect. My balls aren't quite big enough to completely surround my cock but it still looked and felt nice and hot. I couldn't stop rubbing myself. She hung out for a little more play and after successfully getting another mouthful of her cum she had to go. I have to say the tuck part was assume but as a date I was a bit less enthusiastic. She is nice but not really as exciting as I like. I had to be the aggressor most of the time and I am really not turned on by that role. My needs are so much more fulfilled as a sub letting myself give in and be controlled. So the exploration will continue. I also finally made contact with a t-gurl I have been chatting with and in a couple of weeks we plan to get together and she wants to help me with my transition. we talked on the phone yesterday and we talked about what i was wanting to become. I told her that the sex wasn't the only thing I was interested. I told her about needing help with the fem side of me such as makeup and mannerisms and dress. She seemed very open to helping. If all goes well I maybe coming out more in public. She was very manner factly about not working about what others might be saying about me. She said once I can get past that it will become easier. we are thinking of heading to a social club in San Jose that she thinks I might enjoy. I looked at their site on line and I really think this might help me breakthru and give me the confidence to become a woman full time. It provides a place to go dressed and meet others of like mind. It has a retail store where I know I will spend way too much money lol. I am really looking forward to meeting up with her and I am hoping this might be the beginning of jennifer for real. We will see how it goes. I really want a relationship and a girlfriend so I can talk about my feelings and have someone supporting me in this journey. I will keep this blogged posted on this new adventure. Me final thoughts today are where am I going when it comes to my mind set. I have been seeing this wonderful guy who fits almost everything I might be looking for in a man. He is assertive and strong. He is hairy all over which really turns me on. When I am with him I am as close to being jennifer then I ever have been. We talked a bit yesterday and I explained to him what he did to get me excited to see him. I asked him how he saw our situation and he was very positive about it but our situations make it a bit difficult to see each other when we want. I asked him if he could be even more in control. The example I gave him was the first time we got together he just called me told me he was coming over without me having a say. there was something inside of me that wanted to be treated like that. I told him that one thing that disappointed me was he wasn't always like that. He had texted me that his job was going to bring him by my town and he would like to meet for a bit. I wasn't against us meeting but I told him that is the kind of situation where I would have rather than asking me nicely just text and say I am coming your way be ready I want to fuck you. I told him that is what I really want from him. Be ready to submit at any time at his beck and call. He said he understood but I am not sure if I will get that from him. He was suppose to come see me today. We were talking about the planning as he drives a big truck so he can't just bring it into the neighborhood. He suggested a few scenarios and we settled on one. I think this is where he could have gotten me drawn in closer to him if he would have said Jenn I will be in town at such and such time. be dressed and ready to come and pick me up. I did mention to him that if he liked I could come and jump into his cab and just sucked and fucked him there. Now that was a hot fantasy but he wasn't going to let that happen. I guess I just want him to tell me how it is going to be and not worry if I agree or not. I guess if I keep suggesting these things he might just finally take more control. the reason I bring this up is when he does get control he is fantastic I can't get enough of him. This feeling I have about having a lover in control has gotten me thinking more and more about smbd. I have been on the various blogs and group sites exploring the possibility of engaging this life style. I thought it would be easier to find a person who might want to help me explore. As of now I haven't had a dom even approach me which is frustrating. I did have chat with someone that has been a sub and she says this site isn't very good for that. So I am beginning to look at other sites. She said she found that friends have been more of a help in finding someone. She also mentioned meeting does a certain parties. I will have to look into this more and see if it is even worth pursuing. I am pretty sure no one will even read this since as of today I haven't gotten a single comment about my other blog posts but a gurl can dream right. Well I am off line for a week and will check back with news if I have any on he continuing journey to be jennifer. Peace and love friends. Kisses from jennifer. |
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