Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > Fishdx01 > My Blog |
Philosophy in the Bedroom
|
Philosophy in the Bedroom Over the years, we’ve both taken submissive and dominant roles, enjoyed sex with both men and women, and have deeply explored the dynamics of power exchange in the S&M-B&D scene. We will share a secret with you that we’ve learned on our journey. There is ecstasy to be enjoyed in both roles. Taking control of another is an awesome responsibility, and one we don’t take lightly. As artists, directing and shaping behavior, rewarding and punishing as needed, and above all, exploring limits and pushing you beyond them to mold you into the perfect slave is our artistic goal. If you honored us by accepting us as your master/mistress, entrusting yourself to us both mentally and physically, you would become our canvas, our block of marble, our lump of clay. And we would never take such a show of trust for granted. Oh, what a picture we could paint or sculpture we could create with you!!! We’ve both assumed the role of bottom/submissive as well over the years. This provides its own unique type of fulfillment. One that often transcends sex and physical pleasure. Descending into the role of submission is liberating. Working in the real world, making decisions, balancing your checkbook, sending back the cold soup at the restaurant, arguing with the bank teller, and generally imposing your will on others being “in control” day to day is stressful. But when the day is done, giving yourself over to another, letting someone else guide, control, and make decisions for you, especially in a sexual situation (which can't be explored during the workday and is therefore doubly liberating), can be transcendent. Few people have experienced this sensation of freedom, but once you have, you will hunger for it and go to great lengths to find it. It is a wonderful feeling and it can free the mind, body, and soul. It’s the exquisite sensation of powerlessness In a power exchange relationship, a master/mistress can control your every waking and sleeping moment. You don’t have to think. You don’t have to decide. You don’t have to stress about anything. Someone else is freeing you of those responsibilities. In the confines of the master/slave relationship, sacrificing freedom is not only requisite by definition of the role dynamic, it is the most intimate offering and gift that can be bestowed. Submission of any kind is sacred. Sexual submission even more so since it requires the voluntary acceptance of vulnerability and relinquishing the notion of personal and interpersonal space. A German philosopher (extra credit if you can tell us who), once described two different kinds of freedom. Freedom "From", and Freedom "To". Freedom "From" implies being free from obstacles in your way. Being able to do as you please. Freedom "To", refers to being self-directed. Being free to act. Free to make a choice. One is more active, the other more passive. But while the concept of freedom in either form is central to the human condition, there is existential weight and anxiety associated with both. Because freedom isn't free. You pay for it. Making decisions, (asserting one's freedom in either form) is stressful. The beauty of sexual submission is that, for a time, while in a role or playing out a scene, the stress, anxiety, and responsibility of freedom in all it's forms evaporates. Some describe it as a mental orgasm. I would add a third type of freedom the the philosophical list. Freedom from freedom. It's saying "I freely chose to relinquish my freedom and hand it over to another for a time. It's saying, “I give myself to you utterly”. My only purpose is to please you. My mouth, my cunt, and my ass are yours. Open and available to you at all times without reservation. You will decide what's best for me. My needs are secondary. In fact, my identity is secondary in scene. My pleasure comes from making master/mistress happy. If I displease you or do not satisfy you in any way, I will accept your discipline and punishment and learn from the experience to be a better slave. I do these things voluntarily and without hesitation. In return, I know that I am loved. I am cared for. My master/mistress will keep me safe. I am the focus of their desires. They lavish me with attention, torment me when it suits or entertains them, and allow me pleasure when I have earned the privilege. But through it all, I am the center of their world. I define them and give them purpose. What is a sculptor without a block of marble and a hammer and chisel to bend the stone to the will of the artist. A slave in a BD/SM relationship is remarkably powerful. There’s no give and take without a giver and a taker and a sub surrenders control because surrender is in their nature. Being controlled and “forced” to do things is part of their psyche. They do it because it gets them off, because they enjoy the theatrics of role play, and because deep down, there is a true desire to serve and please which often cannot manifest itself outside of the bedroom. Often the sub derives pleasure from the act of “letting go” or by relishing the pleasure they are providing their top(s) in scene. The feeling of control a master/mistress/dominant player in scene is in some ways an illusion. The submissive has more control in many ways. Topping someone is an immense responsibility. You are responsible for their welfare and safety. If they are restrained, bound, gagged, or have a reduced ability to communicate, or the scene has a theatrical “non-consensual” edge-play component, the Dom must assume a duel role. He/she/they must still enjoy their dominant status “in the scene” without guilt or hesitation, (or why bother), but they must be diligent with respect to monitoring their sub’s body language, verbal and non-verbal cues, use of safe-words or gestures, and the general disposition of their bottom to prevent physical or emotional harm. Being a top is often a lot more work than being a bottom, and it’s easy to get caught up in either role. Luckily, we are caring, careful and experienced in both roles and won’t play with anyone without firm, established ground rules. You would be in good hands with us. We can take you to wonderful places that you know well and are comfortable with, and, if you’re feeling adventurous, we could even take you a little farther!! |
Become a member to create a blog
