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Being a Transgender...
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Being a Transgender... I don't think I'm complaining in this posting, but I am going to try and explain what being a Transgender is like; at least what it's like for me. Being a Transgender sucks. I'm college educated (and then some), I'm not a stranger to being in therapy, I'm pretty evolved Spiritually; yet for the life of me, I can't figure out why the fuck I am in a male's body. I wanted to be Snow White when I was six old and couldn't understand why I wasn't. The guys on here that want to fuck me, want to do so because I have the very thing (a penis) I wish I didn't have. It's a weird existence for sure. And yes, of course I understand the attraction that a person can have towards a penis, which is why they want to fuck me, as opposed to fucking a person that has a vagina. Clothes. Fuck. I DO NOT GET TURNED ON by wearing women's clothing. It is simply the only time I feel normal. The rest of the time when I'm in men's clothing, I feel like I'm cross dressing. And I can't stand the whole fucking "Let's get together and dress up" bitches that are on here. Uggghh. Yet, I lack the body shape that would give me the confidence that I could go out in public as a woman, and not get the shit ed out of me, or at least get looked at strangely. I also know I'm very judgmental as far as cross dressers or other Transgenders are concerned who look like starting members of a NFL football team; I don't want to be that person. My , my ex, family, and my close friends know I"m a TG and I know how lucky I am that they haven't simply told me to fuck off. It is a freakin lonely existence. Yes, I have been told that there are "clubs" that I can go to, in order to be with other Transgenders etc. However, in my case, I have never been a club going person, or a bar hopping person. I'm kind of a nerd. I'd rather stay home and cook a man dinner, or at least call the number of the restaurant that delivers lol. I had close to three hundred "friends" on this site; until I realized I never chat with these people; so I've deleted a ton of them. There's maybe like ten people that I actually chat with regularly on here. I guess I keep the other hundred or so to trick myself in to thinking that I'm popular. Oddly enough, if you knew me in person, you would think I'm of the more optimistic people you know; and I am. However, under the surface their is this cognitive dissonance lurking regarding my very identity. That's really weird to live with. I'm not on HRT (Horm Replacement Therapy) don't have) breast implants, and Transition Surgery is not an option for me right now. For starters, I don't know if I want to go through those steps at all; ; it's not a minor decision. Secondly, I need my career and I would fucking lose it in a New York Minute if I came to work wearing a dress. And then there's sex. The visual of men having sex together turns me off big time. And yes, that makes me kind of a hypocrite I suppose, but the site of a guy on here with his naked ass spread open makes me want to hurl, and yet I am wanting guys to fuck me...That doesn't sound very evolved on my part; but it is how I feel. So when a guy want's to suck my "clit" (and almost all of them want to) it makes me almost sick to my stomach. I didn't even like women sucking it. I do know that I'm hst, loyal, creative, funny, Spiritual, a little submissive, but I have not had luck finding THE , Male or Female so to speak. Fuck, I would marry me lol. Well once again, thank you for reading my blog and I hope it wasn't too bitchy. Be safe and have fun. Terri |
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9/2/2018 8:56 am |
I've never claimed I'm a TS. I am however a TG. Thanks for your comment.
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