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| Blogs > CeriosEros > The life & times of Zero Mega |
Please, Tell me to fuck off!
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Please, Tell me to fuck off! If I send a message and you're not interested. Please for the love of God tell me to fuck off. Tell me that I'm ugly or stupid or not worth you're time, something. I rather have all hope of a interaction beaten out of me than to be ignored. Hope is evil. That's why the Greek Gods put it in Pandora's box. It's a predator that preys on your dreams. Lifting them higher and higher so that it can let go and bash them against the rocks below and fest. Ladies I understand that you get so many messages that you can't keep up without quiting your job and abandoning your responsibilities but please use a auto response to tell me to fuck off. Or just send me a one or two word reply like "NOPE" or "Not interested" or "No blacks" You don't even have to write it. Just copy and paste. Anything. I know that I'm not entitled to any of your time or effort but when you send a message like I do. Which is respectful and witty and references your profile. Proving that I actually read it. And after all that effort getting not even a fuck off but seeing blog posts about guys sending vulgar two word messages and getting at least acknowledged even if that acknowledgement is mockery. It actually makes the rejection worse. Like I wasn't even worth mocking. I'll take mockery over being ignored any day. Kind of like if you try to shake someone's hand and they flip you off is so much less a disrespectful act if they just refused to shake your hand just walked pass you like you weren't there. And that's all a message is. A extended hand of greeting. Please have the decency to flip me off I would really appreciate it. |
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A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. Elbert Hubbard
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I am ganerally amused when men weigh in why women do this ow why cant women do that. Let me give you the insight on a couple of reasons you don't hear anything. #1. Once upon a time a very polite lady, whose mama raised her with good manners, joined a certain web site. Let's call it "Grown-U Buddy Locator. She got a fuckton of emails at first because she was new and men in her area noticed. As happens real life, most of the men were either too much or not enough and like Goldilocks, the polite lady was looking for a few men who were just right for her. When she sent a brief note, "Thank you for the message but I'm not interested" she was surprised to get a message back from one of the men calling her some pretty nasty names. Then she got another one from a guy demanding to know why she was turning him down. Then a third figured that any response was an invitation to begin a dialog. Pretty soon she realized that about 1/3 to 1/2 of the men were responding with either nasty grams telling her she was a whore, a fat cunt, "insert your favorite racial slur", or one of these other types of unwanted follow messages. One man told her that she must be poor and live in a ghetto since she couldn't appreciate the nice hotels he could take her. FFS. Finally one day a man wrote back to tell her that he deserved to be beaten and *d for turning him down. Fuck no, I was done dealing with that kind of rancid vitriol. I didn't expect sunshine and flowers 24/7 but that some of these messages, and the men who sent them, were re-god-damn-diculous. So I said fuck-it-all. If a guy is too dumb to realize that I'm not interested after 3 or 4 days of silence, that's on him. On the flip side, if I write a man and don't hear from him in a few days, I cross him off my list for good. #2 I'm a fat middle aged black lady and I get about 5-10 messages per week. I know that some of these women must get 20, 40 or even more. you figure if it takes 5-7 minutes to read the message and write a "no thank you" reply, multiply that out by 40 messages 200-280 minutes a week. That's nearly 4 damn hours! No woman is perched in front of her computer all day. We have jobs and school and kids and vacations and friends and family and so on. Even if we have the 4 hours in our week, no woman (or man for that matter) wants to spend it rejecting stranger after stranger who didn't even bother to read their profile. Personally, I want to read blogs, write posts, check out groups and, oh yeah, connect with I might actually want to fuck. So it's bad behavior from other men that conditions women not to respond and the volume makes it impractical for some women because they would rather be interacting with people on the site than drafting no thank you messages. Oh and why don't some women use auto response? because men complain about that too. They get offended that they got an auto reply instead of a personal note. Double fuck that bullshit. OK, now I have a question for you gentlemen. Why the heck does this matter? I find that a surprising number of men get a bit butthurt over not hearing back from women who aren't interested. I'm really curious to hear directly from the horses' mouths why so many men bring this up.
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You disagree with me? But I didn't write anything to agree with. I wrote a little post about rather being told to fuck off than to not be acknowledged and all of a sudden I'm being lumped in with a guy who doesn't speak for me. I didn't get emotional or respond negatively. My self esteem wasn't tied in with strangers on the interwebs. I guess I did beg to be treated in a certain way but I didnt expect it. I stated that I wasn't entitled to anyone's time or effort. That being said l don't think that you understand the level being ignored I that prompted this post. Let's just go with Affairlook because my life story would be too much. I was ignored by my family and the opposite sex too. Lets leave it a me still being a virgin at 32 and me not having't had a birthday party since I was 10, which is all in my blogs. I've been back on Affairlook for 6 months. I've sent tons of messages. If I had to put a number on it I would say about 60. How many messages from actual people including auto replies, 3. One from you to give me points and one from someone who read my blog and felt bad for me and who was admittedly drunk at the time and one who thought I post I made on their blog post was funny and didn't know how to respond back. That's it. Around 60 messages and no replies and if it weren't for my blog there would be no interactions at all. That's the level. This isn't me complaining about a few people who snubbed me. This is 6 months of isolation. Me sending detailed respectful messages and getting nothing back. And not wanting, demanding or expecting anything but asking for some acknowledgement not even positive acknowledgement just acknowledgement.
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I am ganerally amused when men weigh in why women do this ow why cant women do that. Let me give you the insight on a couple of reasons you don't hear anything. #1. Once upon a time a very polite lady, whose mama raised her with good manners, joined a certain web site. Let's call it "Grown-U Buddy Locator. She got a fuckton of emails at first because she was new and men in her area noticed. As happens real life, most of the men were either too much or not enough and like Goldilocks, the polite lady was looking for a few men who were just right for her. When she sent a brief note, "Thank you for the message but I'm not interested" she was surprised to get a message back from one of the men calling her some pretty nasty names. Then she got another one from a guy demanding to know why she was turning him down. Then a third figured that any response was an invitation to begin a dialog. Pretty soon she realized that about 1/3 to 1/2 of the men were responding with either nasty grams telling her she was a whore, a fat cunt, "insert your favorite racial slur", or one of these other types of unwanted follow messages. One man told her that she must be poor and live in a ghetto since she couldn't appreciate the nice hotels he could take her. FFS. Finally one day a man wrote back to tell her that he deserved to be beaten and *d for turning him down. Fuck no, I was done dealing with that kind of rancid vitriol. I didn't expect sunshine and flowers 24/7 but that some of these messages, and the men who sent them, were re-god-damn-diculous. So I said fuck-it-all. If a guy is too dumb to realize that I'm not interested after 3 or 4 days of silence, that's on him. On the flip side, if I write a man and don't hear from him in a few days, I cross him off my list for good. #2 I'm a fat middle aged black lady and I get about 5-10 messages per week. I know that some of these women must get 20, 40 or even more. you figure if it takes 5-7 minutes to read the message and write a "no thank you" reply, multiply that out by 40 messages 200-280 minutes a week. That's nearly 4 damn hours! No woman is perched in front of her computer all day. We have jobs and school and kids and vacations and friends and family and so on. Even if we have the 4 hours in our week, no woman (or man for that matter) wants to spend it rejecting stranger after stranger who didn't even bother to read their profile. Personally, I want to read blogs, write posts, check out groups and, oh yeah, connect with I might actually want to fuck. So it's bad behavior from other men that conditions women not to respond and the volume makes it impractical for some women because they would rather be interacting with people on the site than drafting no thank you messages. Oh and why don't some women use auto response? because men complain about that too. They get offended that they got an auto reply instead of a personal note. Double fuck that bullshit. OK, now I have a question for you gentlemen. Why the heck does this matter? I find that a surprising number of men get a bit butthurt over not hearing back from women who aren't interested. I'm really curious to hear directly from the horses' mouths why so many men bring this up. To answer your question guys get fustrated because the whole reason to be on this site is to interact but there's no interactions. You said you're not a middle aged and you get about 20-40 messages a week. We'll I'm in my prime and I've gotten 3 total and 2 were strictly platonic. Just imagine if you only got 3 messages total. To get noticed you might have to change your approach. But how can you change your approach when you don't even know what you're doing well and what you're doing wrong. Because no one will even acknowledge you. Just crickets. Some guys have to protect their ego so they get super defensive i.e. You're fat anyway. Some guys get resentful. Others like me ask for some type of feedback. But it's all just too tainted.
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Why are you so angry? No one owes you their time.
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Goddamit, man-the-fuck-up! You've been being a bitch about this for a year. Knock off the begging and knock off the self-putdown behavior. Go exercise. You said you were getting all fat and dumpy looking. Work on that, especially if you don't have a 6 figure income.
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Goddamit, man-the-fuck-up! You've been being a bitch about this for a year. Knock off the begging and knock off the self-putdown behavior. Go exercise. You said you were getting all fat and dumpy looking. Work on that, especially if you don't have a 6 figure income.
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