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Blogs > greg16ge > Musings, dreams, and visions

Are you real?  

greg16ge 67M
0 posts
4/29/2016 2:58 am
Are you real?
Let's face it, that's one of the most common questions we're asking about each other in this little online world. And we should. Some of us are plunking down some serious cash and/or "points" to, um, "interact" with each other. What a shame if that "friend" is just a figment of the site admin's imagination, luring us into more and more activity.
DISCLAIMER: I am NOT accusing THIS site of this kind of behavior, not am I claiming that any other social network does this. But we do know that catfishing happens, so we'd be fools not to be asking that question.
And that goes for those who are interacting with us, too, doesn't it? Do your profile, pics, and activities represent an authentic version of you? Or are you engaged in a bit of role playing?
Now, here's the lesson I'm drawing from all this about so-called "real life" ("RL"). Every one of those questions is no less valid, with respect to our RL contacts. They're also valid for our friends, partners, and lovers to be asking about us.
I have a friend with major trust issues. She's always complaining about people "talking out of both sides of their mouth." She sets her own firm boundaries, and selectively self-discloses, but loses faith in humanity when those close to her do the same.
I care enough about her to to have listened to her for hours about her boyfriend's "lies," and how badly her co-workers are treating her. I started dodging her calls and fuming about how much of my time she was wasting. Then I realized it was my time to waste, and I needed to make better choices.
So, did I blow her off, tell her to stop calling? No. I still care for her, she does make me laugh, and we do have a lot in common. But I'm more honest with her (!), and more confident about setting my own boundaries. I've gotten quite direct with her about her trust issues, and I just don't join her in judging people I haven't even met. We're still friends. I don't think she likes me as much as she used to, and that's actually a good thing. I'm sure she doesn't trust me as much, but that puts me in a very large club. I really hope she can find the kind of happiness and peace I have, and I've done all I can to help her find it.
The rest is up to her.
Peace, y'all.

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