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Blogs > gymrat1974 > ManwranglerJen

There’s nothing suspicious about holding hands  

gymrat1974 49F  
1057 posts
2/10/2019 11:55 am
There’s nothing suspicious about holding hands

I wish you could see the real me
I’m playful and funny and silly
I laugh at nonsense
And go out of way to make others laugh too
But then I can become awkward
The silly becomes strained
The laughter becomes tears
The funny becomes odd
And I try and try to control myself and there’s no explaining
And you always tell me it’s fine
It’s cool
You understand
But there is no understanding
I don’t want you to understand
I want you to listen
I want to break the cycle
I want you to know me
The one who giggles uncontrollably until everyone around me is giggling too
I want to be happy and carefree
I want to take your hand without thinking
And let you hold mine
And to understand
There’s no motive
You just want to hold my hand
What’s wrong with that?
There’s nothing, nothing in the world wrong with that
I want you to hold my hand
And I don’t want you to let it go.
But I know that I’ve scared you away
Chased you away
Walked away even myself because it’s easier than breaking walls and barriers
That come between me and you and laughter and joy
And holding hands late, late at night

A

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