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| Blogs > jessabell1967 > Ginger Snaps |
Winter is dead
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Winter is dead Easter has long been my favorite day of the year. This is the day that marks a new beginning. When I was a younger adult, following in my parents religious path, this was the day to celebrate my Saviors rising. The day that marked a new beginning, my<b> sins </font></b>were washed away and my savior had ascended into glory, and he was busy preparing a place for me there. What a fantastic day! Several years ago, I faced a horrible life event. The unimaginable happened. Honestly, I didn't deal with it well. I held my grief and rage as a captive, or more as a guest. I stroked it. I fed it. I wouldn't let anyone try to interfere in the relationship I had with my negativity. I found comfort in my anguish. Peace in my broken spirit. I railed at the almighty, I vowed to never set foot in his holy home. My world was dark, not so much shadowy and gray, but brown. Dry. Barren. When the next Easter came I new I needed to find some glimmer of life, for my . So I looked at it through pagan eyes. It was the celebration of new beginnings again. New life, but this time it was nature's new life. Flowers were blooming, were squealing, and laughing and riding high on a wave of bunny ears intoxication. I could be happy. Because the Earth was changing, there was new life. I couldn't seek my lords embrace, but I knew joy again. Fast forward many years to a play date with a friend. After our play session I was lamenting. Trying to find the true joy that so many other people have.,She just stared at me while I went on and on about my miseries. Finally, she squinted and said "you need Jesus...... You don't need pussy, you don't need cock, you need Jesus...... And you know exactly where he is..... He never left you..... And you know that...and if you think you get pissed off, imagine how pissed the guy who created us gets" That was one of the strangest sermons of my life. My rowdy bi friend who drinks too much Tequila and belly dances on bar tables, telling me I need Jesus. She was right. I've spent the last few months trying to patch my spiritual life back together. But yet, here I am. I know I'm not alone in trying to wrap my head around how to balance my sexual life and my spiritual. I'm not sure why I'm adding this post honestly. It could be seen as a sermon. Some might think I'm looking for a pat on the back. But that's not my style. I guess I just hope that wherever you are, you can celebrate today as the day of new beginnings. Whether it's the promise of heaven or just the changing of the seasons. Winter is dead. |
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And it is time for something new to bloom. 
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embrace the new life
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