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| Blogs > phoenix71rebirth > Flamed by the Phoenix |
Exclusively Yours ...
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Exclusively Yours ... But I am merely an option in your menagerie Seriously? Why these double standards? It's a frustrated rant because I always end up on the short end burnt. Real life or Affairlook there's this very strange phenomenon that plagues my existence as a woman so let me once again try to address the source of my ire. As a long re-singled Asian brown girl raising 2<b> teenagers </font></b>I chose to for most part to be celibate simply because becoming the proverbial oil drum for passing dipsticks wasn't my idea of a necessity. Despite being often called beautiful, intelligent, loving ... bla bla bla ... it has long dawned on me a leg over is as much commitment any man is willing to give. Even the ones who say otherwise and woo you with promises of unicorns and rainbows. So after a confidence shattering divorce and a failed second attempt at romance I withdrew into my own safe place and celibacy came naturally with the rest of my roller coaster life. Only lately after long conversations with my teens did I decide that I might once again give romance companionship sex another shot ... inspite of misgivings of the male species. But I want to make one thing clear .. when (if ever) I am in a committed sexual relationship I am by default monogamous with that 1 person till the end. I do not need nor desire any one else to fulfill me sexually. However as it's quite plain to see I am not at this point nor in the foreseeable future going to be in a committed sexual relationship because every man I talk to seems to think I am now Rapunzel locked away in a tower solely for him. However he on the other hand has no such exclusivity clause - he is free to mix mingle leg over anyone he pleases. Even if he isn't the same 'hide her away' clause is not applicable because he is a man. My openbook heart on my sleeve nature doesn't see a point in hiding stuff let alone other men I interact with on a regular basis. It's not a competition, I just am someone who thoroughly enjoys conversation. And different people keep me satiated with chatter of various topics. I talk more with some than others but miss these others more than some. Even if I were in a relationship, I rather my man know who my male friends are. The ones I might have shagged are most likely not talking to me anymore (I seem to have this effect on men who shag me ... they never want to speak with me again after) Therefore here's my caveat. If you want me to hide away from the world and exclusively stake claim to me .. come away with me then .. we'll put a ring on it and sign the dotted lines and become the new Brady Bunch .... yours mine and a big fat US! I have been alone so long a lifetime of alone doesn't scare me. What scares me is being locked away and not loved the same way I love you. That you will never exclusively be mine ... that in your eyes I am merely an option on a buffet spread that you may never really ever choose whilst I wait alone to be the sparkle in your eye till the lights go out forever. So men of the world, the phoenix cannot be caged and until and unless the phoenix finds the elixir that cures its endless death and rebirth ... the phoenix continues to read between the lines from a safe distance. I might love you with all my heart but until you tell me you are mine exclusively I rather just conversations without thinking too deep about why you expect from me differently from what I expect of you. |
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1/7/2016 11:13 pm |
An interesting reflection of how you see things. Am I guilty of these things, if so should I abstain from telling you what a beautiful lady you are? Let the phoenix free, to fly and see where she goes x
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