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Latin, White, Asian, Black or Mixed .... we all have a preference.
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Latin, White, Asian, Black or Mixed .... we all have a preference. Recently here on Affairlook/Swinger central while chatting with the few friends online, it dawned on me that we all have a preference with our lover/sexual partners. While some (actually it seems many) of us have had more of a variety of partners varied in ethnicity, race, economic status and religious beliefs. Others may not have had such variation. What we personally find attractive, is what we have experienced through our personal and professional exposure. If a woman here online does not want to respond to me, even if it is a friendly way and non-sexual interest, it is never taken by me personally. Not that they need to . It is not my business why they don't respond. It's their own personal decision. It was over twenty (20) years ago, in my late 30's, the decision was made by me to stop dating black women. Yes, it may sound snobbish, bourgeois or even ridiculous to some (especially here in sex dating land) for a reasonably handsome and intelligent black man to make that kind of decision to stop dating my own race. It really has little to do with color and more to do with adopted values, in my career and friendships. Many of the women in my family (also my ) are Black. My mother, baby sister, paternal aunt and many older extended cousins and god sister are all beautiful, funny, intelligent and successful Black women. The many Caucasian, Latin and Asian women in our family, through marriage, relationships and close family friendships are talented, creative and funny. Why as a young man, did my mom tell me that she felt her middle (me) would end up married inter-racially. Who knows, why she felt that way. It seems maybe our mothers do know best? Being raised in South LA (Compton exactly) is a very mixed neighborhood in the Late 50's, growing up in the turbulent 60's and roaring 70s and watching the neighborhood / urban area change from the "white flight". Yes the Watts riots of 1965, the mandatory school busing in Los Angeles in the 70's. Looking back at the girls in my class at my neighborhood elementary school were more diverse in ethnicity (white, black, latin and japanese) and that changed, seemingly overnight, to having an almost all black and latin middle school (Jr. High - 7th, 8th and 9th grade) in the early 70s. Maybe it was economic and not race related. Families with<b> education </font></b>and opportunities moved out of the urban areas into the suburbs. Yes, even a few black families we knew moved to far away places like Cerritos, Inglewood and even the San Fernando valley (now the porn capital of the world). My family, stayed on the block, although both parents and 3 of 4 grandparents were college educated (one set of grandparents lived next door). It is an idyllic life as a , if you had nothing to compare it to. Visiting the other grandparents a few times a month in a more "affluent" area and seeing different lifestyles, listening to different conversations, with different neighbors and also different problems opens your eyes. The crucial high school years were spent in Mid Wilshire (now known as Koreatown) and miles away from my south LA neighborhood, due to the gang activities and shootings occurring. Spending my high school years with my peers, the young men and women, whom many of their parents also were college educated taught me that how you present yourself goes a long way. The girls (young women) were more cultured on the outside in public and more freaky in private. Sex, at least for me was far more available in the upper economic area(s) than in the urban areas that like my mom/dads area were more modes with their dalliances . It makes me wonder if my sexual preferences were not just based on an image of women from TV and movies. Yes, Maryann was more desirable to me that Ginger. "That Girl", Marlo Thomas, Audrey Hepburn and Natalie Wood were all just stunning to me. That is what a beautiful woman who lived next door looked like. Why didn't the girls who lived next door look like that. That made me search even further away, not just distance but in economic and academic. All these experiences help shape what it is we desire. Meeting one of my ex-girlfriends younger sister really helped me when I met her a week ago for lunch. The list of what my "perfect girl" looked like was tall (over 5'7") with a slim/athletic build with brunette hair or a strawberry blond with a sweet smile and who was college educated who could make me laugh.. She had to have an open mind (sexually) and willing to date outside of her race / religion and economic status. Yes it does seem shallow putting this in writing yet, it is amazing how these things work out. Do you have a preference with your dating? Can you look back and see how that developed, or was it always your preference?  "Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time.” |
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