Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Forgot password?
Blogs > Nonsatiable > Lucid Ravings

The Enemy of My Enemy Is My Friend?  

Nonsatiable 51M
9 posts
12/31/2016 12:37 am
The Enemy of My Enemy Is My Friend?

I have communicated with a few divorced women here on the website. Several of them have commiserated with me over the travails of divorce. There are very few uplifting parts of a divorce, and even the most amicable is painful. It is comforting to hear someone else express some of the same feelings you have felt as the process unfolded. An additional upside is that person is usually on your side of the argument. In fact, they will talk trash about the ex for you.

Got to say that there is some appeal to those women. We have some things in common to start, and almost endless things to talk about based on that alone. Misery does love company, and there are always parts of you that feel the sting of divorce.

What I have found is that it becomes an endless cycle of nothing but “my ex this” and “my ex that” discussions. Constant rehashes of the issues with the previous partner and very little effort to move forward. While the sharing of negative experiences does help bring you together, dwelling there for more than the first few conversations limits growth. It just keeps going back to the anger or disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong, it is a decent place to start – something to jump start a dialog – but there is more to life than the ex. And while I appreciate someone willing to share something of their real life with me, I want to do more than provide<b> therapy. </font></b>(And I hope that I have not come across as a misery vampire when discussing it.)

So, feel free to talk about the ex, just please try to remember that there are other subjects I am more than willing to broach with you. And I bet that they will make you feel a bit better in the end. This ends the public service announcement.

And on a different note, Happy New Year to everyone and good luck in your searches out there.

Become a member to create a blog