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The Book of the Beast
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The Book of the Beast The Book of the Beast: TTIFF Edition I've had to set my alarm for 0300 the past 3 days while we play our silly little war games for the umpteenth time. I am so thankful the weekend is upon us and I'll actually get to sleep in tomorrow morning for as long as my allows. He'll eventually demand I feed him breakfast and I suppose I'll have to cave in at some point. It's been an interesting morning in the tent so far at least. Several of us got into one of those wildly diverting conversations that switch topics more often than I change my underwear (that can be 3 or 4 times a day by the way). The conversation began with 1 man stating he needed some tequila because he thinks he's getting sick. From there, it quickly switched to rattlesnakes, scorpions, jellyfish, some guy yelling "piss on my face", giant squid, and how much a fat loves giant, Souper Meal cups of noodles. I love those type of spit ball conversations. The Beast has discovered the evolutionary need for clumps of body hair in certain nooks and crannies. The last time I decided to do my man-scaping, I got a little crazy with the razor and passed the sac and ended at the back of the crack. I know that manly trench hairs can absorb certain... Odors. I thought I would give the slick feel a try. While it's probably true that body hair in certain areas is a turn-off for some ladies, I now realize it does serve a purpose as a buffering and padding agent. In short... My cheeks are all slippery against each other now. Weird. It's no wonder professional body builders always look slightly annoyed. I suppose I'll adjust. The Beast finally got back into the gym last night after several weeks of either skipping it completely while I was on vacation and sick, or getting a half-assed workout at a half-assed gym in a half-assed town. It felt good to get back in a real facility with modern equipment. I thought I was going to feel exceptionally weak after 3 weeks, but the 40 year old body responded just like the 39 year old version I recently off loaded. I know some of you ladies like to make fun of many of the messages and pictures you get bombarded with here on a daily basis. I have fun as well reading your blog updates with the best of the worst. I have to say though... Be at least thankful you're getting attention. Some of us here (the penis wielding types) don't get nearly as much interest thrown our way. Well... Maybe it's just the Beast. I'm sure BobLuvs2Lick34 gets bombarded with daily messages as well. I wonder if that's an actual user name? Somebody check into that for me. OK... Enough from me this morning. Time to look like I have a purpose in the tent other than looking majestic. You would think that would be enough for these people. Everybody have a great day and enjoy your weekend. The Beast truly cares!  BEAST OUT |
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12/9/2011 6:55 am |
Yeah you'll get used to the slick look - it's like embracing your feminine side for a bit!  (at least console yourself with the knowledge that women will appreciate the effort even if the other guys laugh at you  )"I reject your version of reality & substitute my own"  Offended Yet? Sign Here: [post 2929227] I mean seriously, DO IT!! Have you ever tried Sloggin' it? Blogger Slogger The best of some of the Canucks I love: [blog CanadaWeek]
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I'm truly not worried about any other guys laughing at me. I have very few male friends at the moment and even fewer who would, for any reason, be in a position to see that my ass crack is shaved smooth.
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Truthfully... I'm really just getting to the point where I want to Nair everything except my flattop. Every year I find a new spot I have to maintain grooming standards on. My niece used to date a guy with that birth disorder where you end up with zero hair. He didn't even have eyebrows. You don't pay that much attention to somebody's eyebrows until they don't have any.
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And conversations with dirty girls always take a turn for the kinky.
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Nope...Bob's not real. Feeling a little random were ya? I thought your goal for today was to not talk. Your 40 year old self is as fantastic as your 39 year old self was...really. And yes. You are truly MAJESTIC. *giggle* I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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Wee Hag.... you do realize I don't have to actually speak the words for them to form on the screen, right?
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Beastly Buttercup...OH? Hmmm...you learn something new every day now don't ya?  But alas, I was referring to "Several of us got into one of those wildly diverting conversations...", which of course would require you to "talk". Yes? Majestic yes...but also silly.  I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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12/10/2011 4:33 pm |
I feel so left out. baby
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Left out of what Baby? You know you're welcome anytime for anything.
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Neither have I Witty. I'll be making a run to the fabric store just as soon as I get a chance. Life just doesn't give me much breathing room except on the weekends.
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