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The Book of the Beast
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The Book of the Beast The Book of the Beast: Bored at work since I don't have a real purpose this week and I've decided to mildly gross you all out Edition I think most people establish a list early in life which makes up the majority of what they will put into their mouths and swallow the rest of their lives. This list is fairly well formed by the age of 6 and only gets updated a few times throughout life. Macaroni and Cheese or Beefaroni (TM) (try ordering that in an italian restaurant) will eventually be surpassed by perhaps Steak and Guinness Pie, and Flavor Ade (TM) may get knocked back a peg by Beer. At some point in your 30s or 40s you may get experimental while on your first cruise and try a mysterious fruit with spikes projecting from it or perhaps a roast beast of unknown species. Other than a few updates though....the Mouth/throat/stomach agreement is established early. If you grow up in a country where eating tree slugs is a common practice, you'll probably think nothing of it as a slug slithers across your tongue on its way to an acid bath in your tummy. Here in the U.S. .... A bit more problematic than that I would think for most folks. And yet we think nothing of smearing bee vomit across toast and chomping down on it. That's what I'm going to call my honey company if I ever start one. Bee Vomit Inc. Because that's what honey is. We hear "bees make honey" as . They don't tell us the actual process though. I guess we all assume they have little kitchens in their hives where they busy themselves stirring pots of the sweet stuff over a stove. .... Sorry - No. They make it in their stomachs and then puke it back up. Yummy! I think people would think twice about many products if they took the time to learn what was in them. Women's beauty products would certainly take a huge dive. With all of the fish, insect, and other icky sources used to derive the raw ingredients, those products are all suspect. Ladies... Has your lip ever tingled slightly after trying a new lipstick? That was probably something in its larval stage trying to wriggle into your mouth. It's surprising as well how many women list Water Sports as a no no in their sexual turn-offs list and then use a plastic toy on themselves on cam. Don't they know Urea is a key ingredient in all plastics? Urea... Sounds a bit like urine- don't it? That's where it comes from folks. You're giving yourselves the cousin of the Golden Shower- the Golden Bludgeoning. Uh oh... Looks like they may have found a use for me after all. I'm going to have to cut this short. I promise you, my millions of adoring fans, that I will get back into regular posts now. It has just taken me longer than I thought it would to shake off that nasty illness that got. a hold of me. Everybody take care. I think I'll draw a picture of what my Bee Vomit bottle design will look like and post it for you all. BEAST OUT |
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12/8/2011 7:02 am |
Bad Beast! There's things we'd be just as happy never knowing, ya know?  "I reject your version of reality & substitute my own"  Offended Yet? Sign Here: [post 2929227] I mean seriously, DO IT!! Have you ever tried Sloggin' it? Blogger Slogger The best of some of the Canucks I love: [blog CanadaWeek]
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You just had to go there didn't you? *sigh* Bee Vomit...ewwwww. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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