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| Blogs > Xenia0natop > Musing of a Sexual Nerd Girl |
Sexual Neurosis
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Sexual Neurosis Don't you just love feeling of having sex with someone for the first time. The sexual tension of the other person's hands on your body, the feeling of their breath on you skin, your body pressed against their's, the taste of their lips on yours - it's simply magical. Such a wonderful experience that just can't be duplicated, although we try. And the problem is, and I don't know about you personally, but I know many people do, we try to recreate that feeling by over analyzing it. Don't get me wrong, communication with your sexual partners is a very important thing, but sometimes we pick apart sex with that other person until it becomes an instructional manual for them, or a scientific formula. FP*12 +(M*14 + i*23)= O FP = foreplay M = manual stimulation or oral sex i = intercourse O = orgasm - with the numbers representing time spent on each, not including variables for position, dogs on your bed, waking up, time, place, or a sexual attraction quotient. Sometimes it does comes down to that. Don't think I'm right on this? Think about how many sex manuals there are out there. We end up reducing that incredible feeling we had in the beginning of sex with our partners to a laundry list of actions that send us speeding down the road to orgasm. I came to thinking about this as I watch a documentary(yeah, I'm a nerd) about the search for the illusive G-spot. Surprising the mountain of research put into that magical little "on" button. The documentary brought up some good points such as, are we setting ourselves up to feel bad about our sexual performance by over analyzing every aspect of it? or, Are we taking the spontaneity out of sex by it now becoming a science? It made me think of other questions, such as...If you can't find the G-spot, are you some kind of sexual loser? If you aren't a squirter, is there something wrong with you? How long is an acceptable length for a penis? How long is too long? How long is too short? Are you lasting long enough? Should you be considering a little blue pill? Are you into group sex, and if not, does that make you a prude? Are you into swinging, and if not, does that mean you have jealousy issues? According to statistics, are you having enough sex compared to the national average? If you haven't has sex in a week, is it a sign your partner isn't attracted to you anymore? If you aren't using 2 or more positions during sex, are you a boring lover? Are you a boring lover if you haven' gone all "50 Shades of Grey?" Are you letting your partner down if you aren't constantly challenging your sexual boundaries? If you are pushing those boundaries, how far is too far? Are you good at oral sex, or do you only think you are? Is your partner faking their orgasms? Can you tell? Are you a dominant or a submissive? Are you watching too much porn? How much is too much, and qualifies your enjoyment of porn as an addiction? Are your fetishes normal? And that leads to the next question...Are you normal? What is normal? Asking questions is a good thing, but are we killing the spontaneity in our sex lives by asking ourselves too many questions? Are we just putting too much pressure on ourselves, and others, by over analyzing something that is suppose to be fun and relaxing? One of the things I wonder is can we ever go back to just enjoying ourselves, and being spontaneous once we've started down the road to asking all these questions? Can't we just fuck and not make ourselves neurotic about it afterwards? This all brings me back to the beginning of this blog post. Did any of this stuff matter when you had that incredible sex, full of sexual tension, that you could just lose yourself in? Maybe it's less about all the scientific research and technicality of it all. Maybe it's more about connecting with another human being. Just a thought. |
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Yet another part of what makes us human. And makes life different every day. Always trying to find a balance between being spontaneous. And wanting to make things "right". (For both, yourself and your partner.) Balance between caring and not overanalyzing.........
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