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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
Bilingual
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Bilingual "Of course I Love you. I married you, didn't I?" "Of course I think you're pretty. I'm hard- can't you tell?" "Of course dinner was good. I ate it all, didn't I?" Bullshit. There ought to be a course taught in 8th grade that explains the difference between what men say and what women hear. For the life of me, I cannot understand men. I swear, if men are from Mars and women are from Venus, I must be from Saturn. I spend half my time trying to decipher what men really mean when they say certain things. And one could argue that, being the simple creatures that they are, I should just take their words at face value and be happy. But my mind doesn't work that way. I'm too much of a cynic- too suspicious of ulterior motives and double-speak that I can't just smile and nod like a bobble head. For myself, I try to be as clear as I can. I tend to be deliberate in my verbiage because when I leave room for interpretation, people get pissed off. 'Ambiguity' is a four-letter word in my dictionary. This is why I get frustrated very easily with most men- because they tend to speak in vague terms and leave just enough of an escape route to make me question their version of the truth. Especially the smart guys. The dumb ones just trip over themselves like drunken monkeys. But I recognize that I am a product of my past and that not all men are cut from the same cloth. I have to leave room for the men who can't say what they feel because they too are products of their upbringing, circumstance and environment. So I am left to interpret their actions. The statements above are a perfect example of the mindset that "actions speak louder than words". "I ate the food, therefore I must have enjoyed it." Well, no. Not necessarily. Maybe you ate it because you were hungry and you're too lazy to make something else. "I'm hard, therefore I find you visually appealing". Wrong again- maybe you're hard because you just watched the neighbors walk the in her tube top. "I married you...I Love you". Don't even get me started on this one. And I know that women can be just as frustrating- we say we're not mad when we're actually mentally sharpening a butcher knife. We agree to sex when we'd rather be watching Grey's Anatomy. We say we Love your mother when it's clear that we think she is Evil Incarnate. But I'm not MOST WOMEN. If I'm mad, you know it. If I don't want to have sex, I'll say it and believe me, I HATE your mother. I have a PhD in "Say What You Fucking Mean". Over thinking things...the bane of my existence. I wish I were a bobble head.  When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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Hmmm. Interesting theory. Nice tits.  knew liked you for a reason!Captivate my mind...and who knows what will follow. Discover more of my ramblings at [blog geysergirl] 
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Communication is the hardest part of relationships. When the last one ended i vowed never to speak anything that wasn't completely honest, even if the message was painful to deliver or painful to hear. I have had a few tests and i don't know about my victims, but its working out great for me.
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Ok...for the most part you love your husband and you're happy with your life...but there's something missing. And it's a big something. Yes? I don't think you're "over thinking" so much as you're just not having the needs that are so important to you filled. And that hurts. It makes you feel small and unwanted and under appreciated. I understand. I've been there. That being said, sometimes, we pitiful lil humans just really don't get it. We love in the way we like to be loved not understanding that our partner may not respond to that type of love. AFTER my divorce I found this lil book, I'm not going to get the title completely right, but it's something along the lines of, "The Five Languages of Love". AWESOME book...and it explained soooo much to me. It was too late for my marriage, but in the years since, I am always reminded that we all "feel" love in very different ways and it pays to find out not just your partner's language, but also your kids. I'm not much into "self help" books...but this ones a winner. I promise.  Don't be so hard on yourself sweetness...everyone wants to be loved. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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Charmer said: "We all need positive feedback on a regular basis. It costs so little and means so much." Fundamental social skill - critical when living in a relationship. Some people (men, and women) just don't get this. I'm lucky that my husband does. It helps that we both have these needs and ask for it when we need it. My ex used to look at me like I'd grown a second head when I asked these sorts of questions. I didn't get my emotional needs met. He was wrapped up in his own world and didn't understand why I needed support and validation from him. I don't think you're over-thinking; I think you're needy because your missing something critical in your life, and the neediness continues to build as more time passes. ((((((GR)))))))
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ugh, those first 3 phrases are ones that I despise (and, yes, there are more of those, almost anything that is presented as a "well, of course, this is the answer based on this useless correlation" I've asked people to say what they mean, and not worry if they think they will offend me, I'd much rather hear the truth, even if it as enjoyable as ripping duct tape off skin, but at least once it's done and the sting is gone, it's gone, there is no further BS, or at least for that topic.. Nice tits.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains - becaause the average man can see much better than he can think.
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1/7/2012 6:11 am |
Funny that. If you can recall the VERY FIRST comment I ever left you.... it was a list of reasons #1 - 10 - 'You're over-thinking it'.  Classic.
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Seems like you're trying to make a point, I'm just not sure what it is. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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All men are different...and some of us are a little different the most. The good news is, we're usually pretty consistent, so once you understand the translation table and the appropriate responses, communication is very easy. Just remember the three basic rules of manhood: ego, sex, and power. For example, here are some appropriate responses to those basic questions... "Of course I Love you. I married you, didn't I?" Why yes you did darling...and I couldn't imagine being any happier. "Of course I think you're pretty. I'm hard- can't you tell?" Of course I can tell...It feels like I'm getting fucked by a fire hose. "Of course dinner was good. I ate it all, didn't I?" You ate so fast it made me wonder....I hope you're not expecting me to eat your cock that quickly. Pretty simple really.
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ugh, those first 3 phrases are ones that I despise (and, yes, there are more of those, almost anything that is presented as a "well, of course, this is the answer based on this useless correlation" I've asked people to say what they mean, and not worry if they think they will offend me, I'd much rather hear the truth, even if it as enjoyable as ripping duct tape off skin, but at least once it's done and the sting is gone, it's gone, there is no further BS, or at least for that topic.. Captivate my mind...and who knows what will follow. Discover more of my ramblings at [blog geysergirl]
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We marrried you because we did love you. Now we stay because we can't afford a divorce. Of course we think your pretty. We no more close our eyes and think of the neighbor's daughter than you think of the pastors son who was bagging groceries. I'll skip the last one, and cook for myself. Not much difference between us, except the outside parts. We do are best to make each other happy, even if it means a little fib here and there.
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Another thing: I get livid when an answer I get is: "just because"! I am also one to say what I mean and hate innuendos. Less wars if men could really say what they mean! Something interesting in my life: A surprise on my naked body this morning Come visit my blog to know what I get up to from time to time: [blog 4jasmine2]
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1/7/2012 1:56 am |
I am totally relating on so many levels. "He" (when there was a he), used to say that I talked in circles. No I'm telling you how I feel not how you think I should feel... 'LISTEN' and not just hear me. "Fucking Asshole"... Did you hear that Ex! Ahh feel so much better - thanks G!
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Well this simple creature has the same problem as you only with women. If your on Saturn I'm out on Pluto (which isn't even a planet anymore). People should just say what they mean. It would make things so much easier.
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