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Some Funny Jokes to Me...
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Some Funny Jokes to Me... Hello! Here's Some Jokes That Made Me Laugh! I Hope You Like'em! As Much as I Did! Enjoy! An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand. The Amish man shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben in ihm geschissen!" Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs have shit in it!" The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand your jibberish. Speak English, infidel!" The Amish man shouts back in English: "Use two hands, you'll get more!" The Blonde & The Heart Attack A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!" The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten bitch," she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the !!" Some More Blonde Jokes... There were Two Blondes living in Oklahoma they were sitting on a bench talking, And one Blonde says to the other, " Which do you think is farther away... Florida or The Moon? " The Other Blonde Turns and Says 'Helloooooooo, Can You See Florida????' SPEEDING TICKET A Police Officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license She replied in a Huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!' RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank, 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?' The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.' AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show Me.' The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; like wise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?' 'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.' 'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.' LMAO!!! Another Reason Why... Blondes Have More Fun! A Blonde wanting to earn some extra money decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started canvassing the nieghborhoods. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch, "he said. "How much will you charge me?" The Blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the House?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes." A short time later, the blonde handywoman came to the door to collect her money. "You finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats - no extra charge." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added... "it's not a Porch -- it's an Audi." This Last One Has Me Laughing So Hard!!! If You Know of Anymore? Please Share'em With Me! I Hope You Like These!! Feel Free to Comment Me! Thank You! Have A Nice Day!!!  Some things in Life You won't forget, Like twirlin' tongues n swappin' spit! OoohLa LaLa Laa, Ah U |
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I Hope I didn't offend any Beautiful Blondes!!! I just have so many Funny Blonde Jokes! I Love Blondes So Much!! I don't really have much else to say? I don't like talkin' about myself? I don't want to bore Ya to Death! I've been living a sheltered life! I Like being Alive! I work when I want? I don't have a job? I'm not ever broke! I can take a joke! I'm not ill, I don't have any disease! I can do just about, whatever it is I please! I don't have to want for anything, I have more than I can ask for? I have just about all I Ever Need! Even though I keep gettin' richer, I can't get my picture on the cover of my favorite magazine! I can Love So Much! And that is just Such! To Me, I Really Mean! Maybe someday? I'll Find Me a Beauty Queen! If ya have some any kind of ideas? That you'd like to share! I'm a Good Listener! Don't hesitate to bare! When, If I have to deal with folks, I am always fair! I'm also very safe, in my own place! No landlord or tennants! I like it like that! Now I have to go, It's Time for me to Scat!! Some things in Life You won't forget, Like twirlin' tongues n swappin' spit! OoohLa LaLa Laa, Ah U
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