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| Blogs > BringinSassyBack > Kiss my Sass |
He knows about
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He knows about Something I hear a lot on this site is: "I know how to handle girls like you." Oh really? Based on a profile, a picture, and a two lined e-mail, you know exactly what type of person I am? That is an amazing skill, and I wish you would enlighten me as to what sort of person I am, since I have no clue! (eye roll) Presumption (please see If Assumption is the Mother of All FuckUps, Presumption is the Father of That Bastard, FuckUp for further reading) is not something I find particularly attractive. In fact, I downright loathe it. I am a firm believer that we learn as we go, as each person is different in their own unique, special, slightly neurotic way. Yes, I might be a bitch, and I might be crazy, but I guarantee you that I'm crazy and bitchy in a way that is totally unique to me! Furthermore, anyone who is going to say: "I'm unfit, bald - and as I can tell you: still living with my mom. I have three legs. And four eyes. I am married (to four unknowing women at the same time), divorced eleven times, have tons of illegitimate , do all kinds of drugs. I am uneducated, unemployed, poor, diseased, lacking direction in life, uncharismatic, nail biting, bad in bed, 2 inches long, snoring, lazy, stinky and afraid of everything and anything, boring, not funny and dead serious all the time. Oh, and I like sarcasm..." in an e-mail should expect this response from me: "I honestly don't think you could handle me. And that is a brand of sarcasm that does not appeal to me. but thanks for your e-mail." I say that I don't think he could handle me, because I read his profile, he comes across as arrogant and a little bland. His e-mail and his attempt at sarcasm made me want to cry. I love how people think they can say something, and just because it's not true, they define it as sarcasm. (eye roll). His response? "LOL. I know how to handle girls like you well enough. Whether you're worth the challenge is a different story entirely. Thanks for replying, though." Oh yes, the classic "I didn't get what I want, I shall attempt to undermine your self-esteem. Muahaha." Oh yes, thats very clever. I replied: "Girls like me? I doubt very seriously you have any idea what kind of girl I am. And you're right, I'm probably not worth the challenge. At least, that's what you'll tell yourself later to rationalize it. Have a good night!" His profile shows him as being in Tokyo... That's another thing... How would the logistics of that work, exactly? 'Cause I sure as hell ain't flying to Japan. Especially not for such a lukewarm e-mail writer. The best e-mails I've ever gotten are relatively short -- No life stories, unending list of sexual conquests or endeavors, or delusions of grandeur. A good paragraph that gives me both a sense of who he is, and that he read my profile, while conveying that he's smarter than his penis. They don't have the subject line "Hi" and the message body "Let's hook up/fuck/meet up now/ mess around" and/or "I want to fuck/eat/objectify you" and nothing else. In fact, let's take a look at an example of an e-mail I actually responded to: "Hi there. My name is (removed for his privacy) and I live about 15 minutes from Bowie. I like how up front and honest you were in your profile; I don't really know what I'm looking for, either. I'm 25, single, and white. I'm about 6'3", and as you can see from my pix, I have brown hair and blue eyes. I'd like to chat with you sometime, any girl who likes robot chicken is worth getting to know. Hope to hear from you." He gets extra bonus points for using a semi-colon. Short, sweet, to the point, without being a walking hard on. I like it. Please note, he said he wants to get to know me. Why? Because he doesn't know me! He didn't presume! (OR ASSUME!) Good . (deep breath) It's a sex site, yes, but that is NO reason to act like a dick! ***UPDATE*** : I received another e-mail from this guy this morning. It reads: "You're cute. It's only natural wanting to be such a special little snowflake. But so far you've acted very predictably. Anyways, thanks for the chuckle. That was funny, following up "leave you to your assumptions" with "I am sure you are *never* wrong". I like your brand of sarcasm!" To which I responded: "And because you're here, It's clear with your charm, wit, and ability to never be wrong have yielded you so much success with the ladies. It's not that I endeavor to be different, its that I think it's silly to presume you know anything about someone you've exchanged two e-mails with. At the risk of being predictable, I'm going to ask that you not e-mail me again. (I predict you will need the last word, though.)" Well, we can add condescending to his list of qualities. I'll keep you posted if he replies (which I'm sure he will.) I'm going to to ask my waxer to wax the interlocking C's down there. That way, when a guy goes down on me, I can say "Careful, It's Chanel." Join my group Sassytarians |
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Wow, I just had a crazy two week fling with this dude who claimed to know about girls like me too. I have never met anyone more rude or disrespectful. Is there a virus going around infecting men and making them into total douchebags? ***
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Wow, I just had a crazy two week fling with this dude who claimed to know about girls like me too. I have never met anyone more rude or disrespectful. Is there a virus going around infecting men and making them into total douchebags? I'm going to to ask my waxer to wax the interlocking C's down there. That way, when a guy goes down on me, I can say "Careful, It's Chanel." Join my group Sassytarians
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It almost sounds like the same guy, really. Except this guy was in town, not in Japan. ***
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Ahhhh, Apathy ... I love you so!  / *hugs* /  This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine. RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me
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Sadly, you've replied at least twice, so this dude still gets more emails than I do... PoorMeImSane
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Sadly, you've replied at least twice, so this dude still gets more emails than I do... I'm going to to ask my waxer to wax the interlocking C's down there. That way, when a guy goes down on me, I can say "Careful, It's Chanel." Join my group Sassytarians
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8/25/2009 11:24 am |
Maybe you should start being an asshole... I can't be like that! I don't want to be an ass, even when I see that someone I'm interested in is attracted to that! One day I'll find someone who wants to pair up with a 'best friend'... Wish me luck!
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You need to turn your emailage thingy widget whattchmacallit back on... THAT way you can receive gems like the following that I was going to send you.... *ahem COUGH HACK* Ah yes...here we are: Cynical, sarcastic, down right ornery twenty-something who really has no clue why she's bothering to fill this out, 98% of you won't read it anyway. To make your typing fingers all buff and prison yard "swole?? " Works for me!  You just got exponentially cooler in my book. Not TECHNICALLY possible...but I appreciate the thought. Thanks 'fer playing...I believe Johnny has a lovely Lean Mean Grillin' Machine or a set of Uno cards waiting for you backstage. (haha, if you thought I was going to say "Edward Cullen", click that X at the top of the screen.), ACTUALLY I thought you were going to say Edward Scissorhands....because who's more awesome than Johnny D with steak knives for hands (or IS IT HANDS for STEAK KNIVES??? Wooo! Brain Bender there!! ) Yeah yeah I I know I'm an old codger for actually REMEMBERING an obscure movie such as that...getting older and more the scraggly lattee-sipping mountain man every day!! Bollocks!! like Ice Cream, Puppies Even better.... Puppy-flavoured Ice Creame, best of BOTH worlds!! Genius!! and saying expletives around small children. I think that's going to be an Olympic Sport next time. Water Balloon fights I am the proud owner of a bootleg custom built water balloon catapult, I shit thee not. (Though I COULD...in addition to the water balloons )Let us slip the Lasso Appasos of War!!  being called "Baby", "Babe" "Sweet (insert word of choice here)" No problem DOLLFACE!! people who use the British spelling of words when they are CLEARLY not British Oy?? Whye thee helle not?? Ite's Jollye goode fune!! For Soothe. Once, I climbed Mt Everest in gym shorts and flip-flops, just for the hell of it. Really?? Well I climbed Olympus Mons on freakin' in nothin' but a sony walkman and a COCKSOCK...beat that!! (No really, he insists...he's eveel!!) If you've ever worn a cape So you have a "theatre queer" fetish?? COOOOOL!!  pretended to be a dinosaur, or seen "The Ewok Adventure", feel free to e-mail me. We could be friends. isn't that the one with the little white girl who has a "Shirley Temple Afro" and gets lost on Endor? Yeah I perused that once when I had the ass for a bunny suit and a sippy cup face...NOOOW iff you had seen the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version of Boggy Creek II or Pod People...THEEEEN...we'd have a deal. Interesting profile ye hasth here...can you bake cookies? I may have to loiter around like Cousin Eddie for awhile.... ( "G'mornin'!! SHITTER WUZ FULL !!" ) Toodles for now  I'm not interested. I'm going to to ask my waxer to wax the interlocking C's down there. That way, when a guy goes down on me, I can say "Careful, It's Chanel." Join my group Sassytarians
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How did you manage to get this far in life when you have no idea when someone is just teasing you? Debasing?? No way!! LOL Wow! I truly feel sorry for you.  Adios. I'm going to to ask my waxer to wax the interlocking C's down there. That way, when a guy goes down on me, I can say "Careful, It's Chanel." Join my group Sassytarians
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