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If "Assumption" is the Mother of All Fuck-Ups, "Presumption" is the Father of That Bastard, Fuck-Up.
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If "Assumption" is the Mother of All Fuck-Ups, "Presumption" is the Father of That Bastard, Fuck-Up. As a single, twenty-something female on this site, I an inundated with e-mails from men, women, couples, and groups. Predominately, though, the e-mails are from "single" men... And alarmingly, a good chunk of them seem to say the same thing, just in slightly different ways. To paraphrase, it usually reads "Hey, I'll be in your area for a few days. Let's hook up, because I'm am absolute perfection in bed, and I know you will let me hit that. I will make you come so hard." I'd like to take a moment to break down my various problems with this approach: 1- "I'll be in your area for a few days." That's nice, but I don't have an arch tattooed over my twat. That's right, there is no drive thru service. I am not looking for a fling, or a one night stand. I am looking for someone local to see discreetly and casually. 2- "Let's hook up/I know you will let me hit that" I don't hook with someone I just met. I have to get to know the person and feel comfortable with them, and around them... And I could never take anyone who says "hit that" seriously. 3- "I am absolute perfection in bed / I KNOW I will make you cum." Ok, and you know this... how? Look, not all women are the same. I'm not an easy cummer. Never have been. And if you tell a guy that, typically, he will say "That's because the men you have been with don't know shit. I can make you cum." No, that's not the case. Many of the men I've been with were brilliant lovers. The ones who took the time to get to know me before hand, to cultivate a friendship and ultimately made me feel the most comfortable with the... Then also took more than five seconds of fumbling with my clit before clumsily thrusting their quivering manhood in me, to find out what my likes and dislikes are, instead of PRESUMING THEY KNOW WHATS BEST, are the ones I always came with. I recently had a discussion with a guy who was about twenty-eight or so, who said, in no uncertain terms, that he would have me cumming in less than twelve minutes, and the reason that I doubted his claims was because I am "clueless" and have only been with guys who "didn't know shit" about what women like. He said because he had been with a bi-sexual girl when he was seventeen, and she had taught him "everything" about women, he could crack my code. Well, no two women are exactly the same. My best friend loves anal. She swears by Anal sex. I am not a fan. I have another friend who hates to have her nipples touched, and I love it. Some women don't like Oral (I've never been a big fan, but there have been occasions where I've enjoyed it immensely), some women prefer it to penetration. Some women like it rough, some women like it slow. And the same goes for men. I've met all kinds of guys, who like all kinds of things, and I don't ever assume that I can do something the same way with Guy B as I did with Guy A. In fact, I can almost guarantee you that the aforementioned guy WOULDN'T make me cum, because there's nothing LESS attractive to me than presumption, except for maybe B.O. To those of you (men and women) out there who don't presume to know everything about me before you meet me, Thank you. You have the potential to be my next orgasm. I'm going to to ask my waxer to wax the interlocking C's down there. That way, when a guy goes down on me, I can say "Careful, It's Chanel." Join my group Sassytarians |
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6/16/2009 9:49 pm |
First of all let me apologize to you and all other women for assholes like that. We are not all that way. I do not know about other guys, but as for my self I am not sure what to write in the emails. I do not take the approach of assuming anything. I try my best to be a gentalman, because being an aggressive ass is just not my style. The only problem is being an average gentalman is not the same as a physically built ass. What type of message do you prefer?
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I can SO relate to this. Especially the idea that I am a tourist attraction. I have blogged about this extensively. I haven't heard the orgasm thing as much but maybe it's because I've mentioned on my profile/blogs that I cum easily. First and foremost, I make it clear on my profile that I don't meet just to fuck and that I have to have time to get to know a man. So it is extremely frustrating when the vast majority are not patient enough to do that. Remember that saying "There's no such thing as a free lunch?"  ***
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6/17/2009 10:31 am |
OMG... the ones I hate are the MASS e-mails... go something like this.... Hey, I read your profile and I think we have a lot in common. Then... I get the Copy & Paste of their profile. It's very easy to see that this email has been sent to EVERY woman they can possibly send it to..... like fishing.... throw out enough lines.. something HAS to bite eventually... PAHLEEEEEEEEEZ! WTF-EVER...... and... I like cheese. 
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6/17/2009 3:04 pm |
"I don't have an arch tattooed over my twat. That's right, there is no drive thru service." Instant classic... Being in OC I am sure that you are absolutely inundated with that.
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Thanks, this post made me smile. Most men are assholes and the internet makes them feel safe to be even bigger assholes. I hope you'll find someone who will take the time to get to know you and treat you how you'd like to be treated.
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6/19/2009 7:51 am |
I can completely relate! for all you guys who use their pricks to think with, listen, read, or whatever you do, but GET THIS it's way too important, and if you don't get it , the only who will be fucked is you by yourself!!! What is said in this blog also goes for same sex relationships.
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good morning or maybe afternoon or night by the time you read this. anyhow...yeah it is quite a shame some of the things some of these...how should we call them...inconsiderate...maybe...immature...well yeah probably that too...umm...INEXPERIENCED yeah thats it...anyone who knows anything knows that "hey u wanna fuck" only works 1 time out of 10000000000 or around that. lmao but seriously i mean just cuz this is a "sex site" doesnt mean that the women are any different than they would be in "real life". come on guys WTF!? could u make it any more difficult for the decent gentlemen that know how to take care of a womans wants and needs?? thanx alot ASSHOLES!! lmao have a great day sweetie. oh yeah btw ill be in your area like next week or the week after so if you want to cum harder than ever before i KNOW i can make that happen! probably within the first FIVE minutes. LMFAO  sorry BAD JOKE i know i know peace @-->---
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Hahaahahaha. I love it! "You have the potential to be my next orgasm." Great line. Cookie cutter sex. Gotta love those guys who KNOW they can make you cum without even having said hello yet. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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