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| Blogs > tazzerman2000 > Cosmic Debris Part Three! |
Why do Bisexual guys turn some of you gals off?
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I have a couple male friends that are bi; and, they are great guys. I think sometimes a man with an overly feminine side can be a turn off.... Great question!
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I personally think bi-guys (who play very discreetly and safely) can be very hot. For those of us old enough to remember ... I think the big issue/turn-off about bi-men for most women is that when the AIDS virus was spreading rampant among MARRIED WOMEN and their children ... it was revealed that it was husbands who were secretly bisexual and gay who were having unsafe sex in indiscreet encounters who were bringing it home. Male/male sexual encounters (whether due to genetics or desire to avoid homosexual stigma) are typically more anonymous, more indiscriminate, less emotional, "just about the sex," they don't typically employ safe-sex practices like male/female (because the risk of pregnancy isn't there). (Yeah, I'm generalizing, but I have read enough articles about it and read enough gay and bi (and straight) profiles on this site to see that the men aren't as picky about their sexual encounters as most women are.) You don't hear of things like "Glory Holes" or anonymous rest area bathroom sex in male/female encounters. I think Gedalia3 is correct also in saying that there is a fear among women that a "bi" guy is really a "gay" guy trying to cover his orientation with a heterosexual relationship. Few people like the idea of being "used" that way.
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Don't make threats you can't keep!! Hey, we could even go at it at Citi Field without anyone noticing these days other than the crickets!
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Molly, I'll let LU speak but she listed ONLY 2 reasons. Insecurity, and homophobia. She even place numbers in front of them to emphasize. That doesn't leave much open to interpretation. I am simply saying that that statement is as much of a judgment, and an incorrect one, as the one she claims those non bi having sex women are making.
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Aha the gauntlet as been tossed! LOL That picture? Well it SHOULD look familiar. Boston Commons my dear!
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You know how I feel about bi guys! Meowww.
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Here's an interesting take, that frankly, I'm surprised no one has mentioned. It may be a NY thing, I don't know, and it may be due to my age, and "coming of age" so to speak, in the '80's. Honestly, I won't even be with a woman who has been with a bisexual man. Do I know this about all the women I've been with? No. But here's why. In NY, the % of HIV in the Bi and Gay community was so high, there was just no way to avoid it during my heavy dating games, and it was just not worth the risk. It's just that simple. Again, this may be a NY thing, I don't know. I worked in the gay community and there is no other way to describe it for those 10 years or so as anything but a plague. Infection rates were well over 50% for a time. Part of it was the fact that so many bi men really ARE gay, but are keeping that hetero part of them for appearances only and are living a subculture gay lifestyle. I can't tell you how many women I know who were dating gay men. Hell, a woman I lived with, she and her fiancee went to couples therapy b/c the sex was so bad, and she was told by the therapist "you know he doesn't like women, don't you?". That was typical in the "bi" community here in NY. YOu are HIGHLY unusual Taz in that you are TRULY bisexual. There are not very many like you. In fact, if you speak to women here who claim to be looking for other women, what you will find is that they suffer as much failure as the single guys looking for women, b/c most of the women who identify themselves as bi or bi curious, really are not. So, I can't speak for the women. I will say to LU, that her comments are silly, and just as stereotyped as those she would condemn. If SHE is allowed her preferences than a woman who doesn't want to be with a bi man is by NO definition homophobic. Everyone has their sexuality. As I often say, there are as many sexualities as there are people. So I would never judge what turns someone else on. However, expressing MY preferences does not categorize me (or anyone else) in any stereotype the same way anyone else expressing theirs does.
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I think ultimately it's a bit of two things: 1) insecurity - maybe the man would prefer another man over her, maybe she doesn't want to compete with a man 2) homophobia - a bi man might seem like less of a manly man than a straight one. This homophobia also contributes to the double standard in the lifestyle where we're told that bi women are hot and bi men are icky. Personally I LOVE bi men! Of course, I'm not insecure sexually and I'm not homophobic either!  And of course, I love to share  I hope you don't mind if I pimp this post! ***
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