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Blogs > elwood19641000 > AFF=Always F**king Frustrated

The frailty of the human mind  

elwood19641000 59M
40 posts
9/28/2013 8:19 am
The frailty of the human mind

I am dejected. I am depressed. I am disillusioned. I am disgusted.

That's just for starters.

What follows is a familiar tale on here or any other swingers site, but when I get put in this situation I like to vent by writing things down and then taking soundings.

First. It happened on another site, but I don't want to post this there. I may do so under an assumed name.

I met a couple online two years ago. We seemed to hit it off and chatted and cammed on a semi-regular basis. One day the female half said they'd like to chat further "to see where it leads". It led to nothing. No big deal, thought I. They changed their profile names entirely twice, but we bumped into each other and continued to be friendly.

About two months ago our cam contact became more frequent. I would see them in a chatroom and they would immediately view me and we would play (well she writhed seductively to music - he never appeared). It got hotter and hotter until one night we swapped skype names and clapped eyes on each other after a mutual masturbation session (again, her & I alone).

Finally came the offer. "We'd like to take this further." Naturally I said yes. A "drink" was arranged. Then he sent me the address - a hotel outside London. Hmmmmmm, thinks I. Not exactly a drink. He and I have a LONG chat on skype about the play rules (so is this a drink only or not?) He keeps saying "I'm sure we'll be fine." So, we now know, implicitly, that the bedroom beckons. I should say at this point I am married. It's not on my profile (I have since changed this) and he hasn't asked me, even though I keep checking he's had all his questions answered.

We meet. Have a drink. I tell them I can't stay the whole night, and this seems to be accepted. Go to their room. Start playing. She is, I admit, gorgeous, and certainly loves the attention of two men. I am, admittedly, a little nervous, with the inevitable result of a semi-erection, not helped by the need to wear a condom even for oral sex (I'm not complaining - it's their call). I don't let it bother me and she seems happy to let us explore her with fingers and tongues and his cock.

Two-and-a-half hours fly by. I leave. The following day I sent them a note saying how flattered I was they chose to spend time with me. They respond in kind. I'm a happy man.

Then they got weird.

A few days later they're on cam. So am I. They're not watching. They're monosyllabic. Strange, thinks I, but hey, maybe they're watching someone else. A couple of days later, in the chatroom, he's very uncommunicative. You can guess the rest. They've starting to distance themselves from me. I write a note. "Hi we haven't really chatted much lately. Is everything ok?" I get a "Been busy with work and family stuff. Hope you're well."

That last sentence is a killer. I know, now, that they are moving on. There's no "let's talk again soon", or "we'd like to see you again". It's cold and it's hurtful - yet why should I care? I'm not looking for an emotional attachment.

How do I respond to this? What I should have done is remained "friends" and just maintain the silence, after all, I haven't been rude. Instead I bumped them off the friends list I have and named and shamed in a status update - effectively eliminating all future contact and the chance to maybe find out what the problem was. Of course, this is just me beating myself up for failing to rise above it and leaving them to it - I know they were never going to explain themselves.

These sites are a tough place and I know I should toughen up. But that's hard when you spend 2 years getting to know people and then they just cast you aside without an explanation. I'm struggling to understand what I did that was wrong after agreeing to everything they asked of me. I find this exhausting after all the effort.

elwood19641000 59M
404 posts
9/28/2013 4:39 pm

 Thanks for posting - what I can't describe is the weird feeling as he and I sit in the same chatrooms. Obviously we both know the other is there, but he just lurks while I make conversation with others and yet I feel awkward.

I can feel a harder outer shell growing.


CampoGirl 58F
43434 posts
9/28/2013 5:24 pm

 I spent 6 years in a very close online relationship, phone calls, camming, letters & gifts back and forth. 1 week before he was to come meet me... I get an email "Don't write, don't call, I never want to hear from you again" no explanation at all. Had I done anything to warrant it...I could accept it, but it still makes me mad as is.
Now on my Blog: 👄 New Pictures 👓


elwood19641000 59M
404 posts
9/29/2013 2:20 am
    Quoting CampoGirl:
    I spent 6 years in a very close online relationship, phone calls, camming, letters & gifts back and forth. 1 week before he was to come meet me... I get an email "Don't write, don't call, I never want to hear from you again" no explanation at all. Had I done anything to warrant it...I could accept it, but it still makes me mad as is.
Six years! wow, that's tough. I can't fathom that kind of behaviour at all.


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