4735 posts 12/23/2013 7:15 am
Last Read:
1/28/2015 5:47 am
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Santa's Not Coming This Christmas!
Santa’s not coming this Christmas!
It was Mrs Claus’ fear.
With him getting old
And the weather so cold,
And he comes only once every year.
She really had great expectations
For her hubby’s annual come!
She’d planned things to do
And activities new -
The news left her feeling quite numb.
She knew the arts of titillation.
She’d once been a porn movie fluffer!
But despite all her arts
At reviving his parts,
She just couldn’t help out the old duffer.
“My mojo has gone!” complained Santa,
As he reached for some sweets from the bowl
He swallowed a few,
And chewed one or two
(He habitually snacked to console!)
“These Parma Violets are rubbish!
By goodness, how awful they taste!
Let’s throw them away!”
Then the elves cried out, “Hey!
Don’t you dare! That’s a terrible waste!”
Then they fessed up the “sweets” were Viagra.
He had eaten more than a few!
He had eaten a load,
And feared he’d explode,
But Mrs Claus knew what to do!
She rode with equestrian finesse!
She rode like Calamity Jane!
Through shudders and spasms
And countless orgasms
She rode him again and again!
But Santa was now superhuman
And soon all her energies spent,
She called to the elves,
“He needs help from yourselves!”
They obliged and helped the old gent.
All the elves and all of the reindeers
Were needed to dampen his surges.
And at the North Pole
Not one single soul
Escaped from Santa’s hot urges.
So if you’re there by the chimney,
Thinking that Santa’s quite late.
Come on! Have a heart!
Santa’s falling apart!
You won’t?
Well you’ll just have to wait!
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!
warm xx
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15173 posts 12/25/2013 7:29 pm |
hehe this was very cute  Merry Christmas to you and yours warm *hugs*
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11887 posts 12/24/2013 6:53 pm |
Happy Christmas to you too Warm! Ohh how I wish I was at the North Pole...or anyone's pole for that matter. (Maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud...)
Swim...Bike...Done
warmandsexy52 replies on 12/25/2013 4:31 am:
I've always welcomed those whose goal
Has been the naughty quest for pole! 
Merry Christmas dearest Kay  
warm xx
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81699 posts 12/24/2013 10:09 am |
Merry Christmas warm! hugs V
Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
warmandsexy52 replies on 12/25/2013 4:27 am:
Santa's saving energy
To bring a gift to dear sweet V
Merry Christmas
warm xx
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2601 posts 12/24/2013 8:22 am |
I will never be the same on hearing "Santa is coming to town"...Merry Christmas, dear warm
warmandsexy52 replies on 12/25/2013 4:17 am:
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus aint coming to town!!! 
Merry Christmas dearest Moonfire
warm xx
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39750 posts 12/23/2013 11:58 am |
Brilliant....but poor Mrs Claus.....having a once a year man!!! 
"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."
~~Anais Nin~~
warmandsexy52 replies on 12/25/2013 3:56 am:
Oh happiness!
Oh joy of joys!
That Mrs Claus
Has her own toys
In the form
Of hunky boys! 
Remember Santa39s Naughty Helpers posted last Christmas?
Merry Christmas dear sexy
warm xx
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41171 posts 12/23/2013 9:46 am |
Now you tell me, just after I've posted my letter to Santa! 
warmandsexy52 replies on 12/25/2013 3:42 am:
Santa had received your letter
And since you'd behaved very well
Despite his condition
From sexual attrition
He'd send it via DHL
Merry Christmas
warm xx
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