Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > rockwriter58 > ♪ Ruminations ♪ |
Flakes
|
Flakes Part I One of the major reasons why I stopped searching was the flaky nature of many of the people I was connecting with here. Many of the examples cited here deserve their own story (and a full version may be rendered later) but for the time being, here is a review of the lowlights of my time in the search engine. As I was starting to turn the corner and raising interest, I started corresponding with a woman for about two weeks. Just about the time we were ready to exchange , she disappeared: unplugged her account and vanished. Now, there are many explanations for this behavior, including outright fear. This was early, about three months into my search, so I pressed onward. The next woman who expressed interest, I pressed a bit more for a phone number early and got it. But then trouble. She assumed because we were talking on the phone that I was hers and all hers. She asked me why I had a harem in my network. (At the time I had about a dozen people, and most never chatted with me.) Now, my feeling is it is a bit premature to stake out ownership claims especially if: a) you haven't met in person; b) you don't even know if the person looks like their photo; c) you don't know about your personal chemistry together; or d) you haven't kissed. I've dated people for months without giving that type of exclusive commitment. She wanted me to say I was going to exclude looking or talking to anyone else, before we even met. Women may have numbers on their side with this system, but I thought that was too much of a demand. This may be an example of someone who says they want a hot hookup but they are really shopping for a long-term relationship. (The remainder of this post will conclude inside.) (This entry NEVER appeared on the main blogboard due to an evening blogjam on July 13, but this author chose not to repost.)  |
|||
|
Part II I came close to a number of meetings and I know something could have happened easily before I decided to shut-down the search a month ago. One woman who agreed tentatively to meet me (we never confirmed days, times or places but had firmly set a window of days when it would happen) had sent me a series of erotic stories. She had engaged in cybersex with me. (Not my thing, but she claimed she got off with the messages I was sending her as she masturbated. That connection was her idea. I just see it as advanced flirting.) We chatted on the phone numerous times. Then it happened again. She closed up her profile. I'm no stalker. I left an e-mail and a voice mail message. No response. I let it go with the question: "what was that all about?" Other oddities:  While I had my auto-reply connected, one woman sent three return messages to my auto-reply before she realized she was just going to keep getting the same message back over and over again. Needless to say, we did not get together. One woman told me she would love for me to come to her home on our first meeting because she did not have a car. She also said she had only been with one man (her husband) since she was a teenager, and so she saw no problem with unprotected sex because she also had her tubes tied. She actually preferred unprotected sex. In her home. Maybe even on the first meeting. And then she mentioned she had done the same thing with another guy from this site and he didn't have a problem with the conditions. On the phone, one woman wanted to chat about her family, her daughter, her pets, but never sex. Although she was married, (and looking for something outside her marriage) she was actually looking for company and companionship, not really a sexual relationship. Three women contacted me through notices placed on various discussion boards. But after an initial exchange of e-mail, I never heard from most of them again. Only one got to the phone call stage. One woman sent me her phone number before she even saw my photo and then wanted to have sex immediately, again before we had exchanged photos. And once I saw a photo, I understood why! Don't get me wrong. I'm not into letting appearance dictate my sex life anymore. But I think it would be difficult to hook up with anyone whose photo scared you a bit.Experiences like these just made me appreciate what I had at home all the more. So I quit. One other interesting note: 60 percent of the women I spoke to on the phone and who expressed interest had either experienced a major (sometimes life threatening) illness or medical problem recently; or their spouse had (most were married); or someone very close to them had died. Perhaps that also had an effect on their actions. Whatever the reasons, I was discouraged that the only folks who I seemed to break through the barrier with didn't seem to be seriously on the same page with me. I suppose an entry like this one burns whatever bridges I have left to these folks. So it goes. (A month after shutting down my search, an explanation was due. For other flaky experiences, also check the post "Fakes" on May 20. This post also references material from "The End" on June 14.)
| ||
7/14/2005 8:43 am |
I have heard these same thoughts from other guys on this site. We women are a curious lot ... just beware any that offer you an apple. "Lil"
| ||
|
good luck hun,it works some times that way for us too I'm a   and i'm here to stay
| ||
|
Ah padawans. If succeed on this site you will then patience you must have. LOL. Been there, done that. Met all sorts of flakes. The only attitude that keeps you sane on this site is one of amusement. If you think of it as happening to someone else then it is very entertaining. Rock, did I ever tell you my driveway story? 
| ||
|
Thank you Lord Murax/Master Yoda... Yes. The infamous sex in a Vegas driveway that was posted in our regional group "Married Seeking Lover(s)." That's a classic. Too bad it was erased (I think) from our board. Feel free to post it here in this thread... or send it to me... and I'll post it as a guest blogging entry. The padawans are always eager for knowledge.
| ||
7/18/2005 9:14 am |
Ah, yes, Rock. Only one more stage left - actually meeting real live people. Yes, it happens - but not as often as shit happens. I guess I was lucky to meet real people early on, but soon discovered that a lot of profiles are: (1) not real, (2) not really going to meet - they just get off on the fantasy, the virtual meeting, the cybersex, (3) real people who think they will meet people, but lack the nerve when it comes right down to it, (4) those who say they want everything but what they really want - a serious relationship. I don't know, perhaps they equate 1-on-1 sex with monongamous sex. I find your observation about the experience of life-threatening illness or the death of someone close as a motivating factor, quite interesting. Nothing like the thought of mortality to focus the mind. I've also noticed that quite a few fall into the "middle-aged-crisis category." A lot of their crises may have been precipitated by illness or death.
| ||
|
Darth Murax? Damn, I like it.
| ||
|
>>>[blog dz2502]... Good to see you in these parts. Yes, my mood is rather cynical in this entry. However, I hope you checked out the entries after this one ("The Stages of Man" series) which I hope show some bemusement with virtual life here. >>>zenyen...Thanks as always for your comments. When they come they are always insightful and appreciated. I'm actually hoping you restart your blog which seems to be on hiatus. I would have posted this compliment there, but there didn't seem like anywhere to put it. >>>[blog TomEboy10]...Don't despair... you haven't been here long enough. Everyone's experience is different, but also eerily the same in some aspects. >>>Thanks to all the others who commented and gave advice. Feel free to continue this thread with more insights. >>>Perhaps Darth Murax can keep us entertained and chatting with his infamous Vegas driveway story. We would like to see it immortalized somewhere that won't erase it. And it is certainly amusing. For those interested in The Realm of Darth Murax check out one of his favorite spots: Married seeking lover(s). ♪rockwriter58♪
|
Become a member to create a blog
