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Never Say You Only Live Thrice Again  

rockwriter58 64M
1038 posts
4/13/2006 1:04 pm

Last Read:
5/21/2008 11:58 am

Never Say You Only Live Thrice Again

Rockin’ After Midnight Productions!

Presents

A New Spy Thriller

With an All-Star International Cast*


As the lights dim, the tremolo guitar of a familiar theme can be heard, and then the sweep of the orchestra. The scene is a villa, high on a mountaintop in the wilds of Colombia. As the theme song begins to grow fainter, exotic birds can be heard calling. Soon the bedchamber of a powerful druglord is revealed, where the play begins....

*A full cast list can be found in The Curtain Call for .

(Step inside for the play.)


(This entry was censored -- ironically, three times -- before it appeared, so it NEVER appeared on the main blogboard. But this author chose not to repost.)


rockwriter58 64M
1386 posts
4/13/2006 1:05 pm

Sergio’s Lair


The Amazing Sergio is stretched out on his giant canopy bed awaiting the ministrations of a woman he has flown in from the states, just for this purpose.

mi_mwpm Come here my chulita. Soon you will discover why they call me the Amazing Sergio.

First off, Serge, you gotta know I don’t like it when a man starts bragging. Too many men do that. I say, back it up with some action first.

mi_mwpm That’s what I love about you American women. You have attitude. I hope your hips can show me some attitude very soon.

Hmmmm. My, that does look delicious. Just as advertised. Let me have a few licks of that foot-long dog before we get going.

mi_mwpm Yes. Your lips are like smooth velvet. That’s it. OOOOhhhhh, so good. Carumba, what a tongue!

(panting) Now, don’t turn into a minute-man on me Serge. I gotta wrap my other lips around that one. They don’t come much bigger.


Quickly grabbing a golden chain with a key around Sergio’s neck, our heroine pivots and mounts the Colombian drug lord in one swift motion.

mi_mwpm (choking and gasping) My God! You’re cutting off my air....

Trust me. You are going to cum so much better with less air. Now, let me ease down on you Serge, and you’ll find out that’s not all I’m cutting off.

mi_mwpm Dios! Mio! I’ve never felt such a tight pussy. I’m.... I’m.... I’m.... going... to....c.....c......c......

Oh, no you aint, mister. You better not shoot any of that goo in me yet. Let me slide down to your balls first. Can’t let go of this one until I’ve enjoyed it a bit. Uh... Uh... Uh... that’s right. Now, lights out, Senor Serge.

mi_mwpm Gaaaaack! Y.... Y.... you’re... c.... c....ch.... ch... choking me.... in both spots!

Tell me where Thunderballs is and I might just let you live.

mi_mwpm Agghhhhh... t....t...try... the closet!


Quickly jerking the chain around the druglord’s neck and giving him a swift elbow to the head, our heroine renders him unconscious. Then she leaps off the bed and kicks open the huge walk-in closet. Inside the closet is a huge bamboo cage.

dz2502I’m sure glad you are here but I do wish you had played with Sergio a bit more. He left the door cracked so I could watch.

You perv! We don’t have time for silly games, Thunderballs, let’s get outta here.

dz2502 It is a good thing you rescued me. Sergio had threatened to make me Thunderball unless I told him where I hid the diamond shipment.

I’d love to chat about Sergio’s torture techniques Thunderballs, but there’s no time for plot exposition here. Didn’t anyone tell you this is the opening chase scene. So run behind me while I try to find my purse.

dz2502 Your purse? How is your purse getting us out of here?


rockwriter58 64M
1386 posts
4/13/2006 1:06 pm

The Escape


After scuttling down a long flight of stairs, the two find our heroine’s purse in the main room of the house. Holding Thunderball’s hand, our heroine drags him out on the balcony, and opens the purse. She takes out a small compact.

dz2502 So this is your secret weapon? Make-up?!

Don’t knock it. It works for most women. But most women don’t have what I’ve got, baby.


Pressing a tiny button on the side of the compact, our heroine jumps back and the compact converts into a large hang glider with a harness.

dz2502 Impressive.

You aint seen nothing yet, honey. Now, hold on tight while we fly outta here.

mi_mwpm Not so fast you two! Come back in here, right now, before I have to shoot.

Grab my purse and hang on, Thunderballs!

mi_mwpm -----------------------------------------------↗dz2502


dz2502 Hey! That was close! That shot ricocheted off the crossbar of our glider!

Look inside my purse for one of those airline wine bottles.

dz2502 Look, this is no time to be drinking or thinking about joining the mile high club.

mi_mwpm -----------------------------------------------↗ dz2502


Men! Either shootin’ off their mouthes or something else at the wrong time. Twist off the top of the bottle and it becomes a super molotov cocktail. Heave it at him before we’re out of range!

dz2502 Here you go, Sergio! A little something From Russia with Love!


After the molotov cocktail is hurled, a huge explosion erupts on the balcony of Sergio’s villa, and the Amazing Sergio is consumed by the fire and smoke.

And now Thunderball, if you’ll move my thong to one side, you can give me the appropriate thank you up here. I did like your idea about the mile high club.

dz2502 Oooooh, 007sexy, I’ve missed your hot spot so much. I guess You Only Live Twice!

Do I have to remind you not to gratuitously drop in parts of the title while we’re having sex! Never say that again! Besides, you got it wrong, it’s: thrice. You only live thrice. But never say it again. Now, just hold on tight, from here on out, you’re in for a bumpy ride!


Theme music swells. The brass section hits some high notes. The opening credits roll. The adventure has just begun. The scene fades to foggy London.


rockwriter58 64M
1386 posts
4/13/2006 1:07 pm

MI-5 HQ


After passing through a long series of electronic checkpoints, retinal scans, and other high-tech security devices, our heroine arrives at the office of the head of MI-5.

Password, please.

Look, Mr. Poundsterling, you know I’m Jane Pond. I know I’m Jane Pond. Everyone knows I’m Jane Pond, 007sexy. Now, can you let me in to see L?

Just give me the right response, please. The World is not Enough.

I swear, serving On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, can be a real drag with all of these protocols here and secret passwords there. But, alright. Here’s your damn password: Tomorrow Never Dies. Satisfied? Now, let me in to see L. And I promise I’ll be back to deal with you later.

oldman1776 Jane. Jane. Come right in. Nasty business with Thunderball in Colombia. I’m glad you broke that up. But we have discovered that the Amazing Sergio was really not the head of that smuggling ring, but rather just a middle man. Those weapons-grade diamonds Thunderball was dealing with could be used to power supercharged lasers. We think you should work with him again to find the real terrorist who is trying to buy them. Her name is Dr. Honey Trench. Although sometimes she is known as Dr. Know because she is so intelligent and crafty.

Don’t you mean Dr. No?

oldman1776 No, I mean Dr. Know. It’s all in the accenting of the right letter. Now, let me get on with the briefing Jane. Where was I... oh... yes... Dr. Know. Watch out for her. Our reports say she is like a cross between a Catherine Zeta Jones, Elizabeth Hurley and a viper. Very beautiful and dangerous. Definitely a 21st Century Mata Hari. Now, your mission is to catch her before she can get those diamonds and use them for her evil plans to rule the world. You will likely find her at her front office, the Casino Royale in Monaco. Good luck, Jane, and make sure to stop in with R before you go. She has some new gadgets for you.


Our heroine heads to the worshop/lab of R, the MI-5 top weapons inventor.

Hello, R. What have you got for me today.

MWWwantsmore Just promise me 007sexy that you’ll bring some of my inventions home in working order. You are always finding ways to destroy them. Now, let me see. Oh, here’s something you’ll like, a big 16-inch dildo.

And what does it do?

MWWwantsmore With your reputation, Jane, I certainly hope you know how to use one of these. What does it do? Very funny. It does what all dildos do. This one is supercharged and can move at extremely high speeds. Well, and if you must know, if you twist it just right, like this, it shrinks down to look like lipstick. Very convenient really. Especially for those times when Thunderball is not....

Moving on, please.

MWWwantsmore Look, just take this rucksack. It’s full of items that you’ll find useful. Many of them look like sex toys. I’ve tested them myself. They work like sex toys too. Very satisfying. But they all have properties a secret agent should find useful. Instructions are inside. Now just push along....I’ve got this new eight-headed dildo to test out. I call it the Octopussy Pleaser. And after that I think I’ll be warmed up for an afternoon session with L!


Back in the offices of L....

I’m finally here to deal with you Mr. Poundsterling, for all of your officious ways over the years.

Now, Jane, you know it was all in good fun. I’ve had a crush on you forever, you know.

Yes, I know. Now, just lay back in your swivel chair while I do the rest. And this vibrating egg from R’s little stash should serve us well as we get going.


Twenty minutes later....

My lord, Jane. My head is swimming. If I had known it would be this good, I’d have given my virginity to you years ago.

See what you missed by being all uptight and saying, never? Just promised me you’ll Never Say Never Again.

Oh, I promise! When can you do me again, sweet Jane?

Just let me charge this egg up and put it under your balls. Then we can have another go before I’m off to Monaco!


rockwriter58 64M
1386 posts
4/13/2006 1:14 pm

The Casino Royale


Now, remember Thunderballs, whatever you do, make sure I’m there when you make the deal for the transfer of the diamonds.

dz2502 Don’t worry, darling. I’m going to enjoy my cover as your boyfriend for once. No more sneaking around and hiding what is obvious. I like being escorted by The Spy Who Loved Me.

Get your hand off my ass and get to work.


Meanwhile, elsewhere in the casino....

saddletrampsk Boss! Boss! I think I saw Thunderballs on one of the security cams in the casino.

SusieQ27 How many times have I told you #2 not to interrupt my beauty sleep unless it is important.

saddletrampsk But it is important. Thunderballs is here with some hot black babe. Check out the security camera yourself.

SusieQ27 With my special sight, you know the security cams are superfluous. I can see through the very walls of the casino if I wish. Hmmm. Now... let’s see where he might be... You dolt! Look at the cameras closer. That’s not just some hot babe. That’s Jane Pond, British super spy.

saddletrampsk She just looks like a Jamaican girl fresh off the beach.

SusieQ27 You fool, that’s what she wants you to think. That’s why she’s so good at what she does. She’s the top of the line super agent: a cross between Halle Berry, Pam Grier and a pit bull. But I’m ready for her and her double-dealing pal. Go ring up The Man with the Golden Gun.

saddletrampsk You don’t mean....

SusieQ27 Yes, Golddigit!


Later, in the casino....

Please, sir, I am Golddigit. And let me introduce my mistress and the owner of this fine establishment, Dr. Honey Trench.

dz2502 Glad to meet you. I am Mr. Thunderballs and this is my American girlfriend Jane, who really is of no consequence, so please, pay her no mind.

Now, that wouldn’t be polite, would it Thunderballs? My Dr. Trench, you have very knowing eyes. And I’d like to know how a knowledgeable doctor not only acquired a casino but such a strapping boyfriend.

SusieQ27 It is all a long story. Perhaps I could entertain you both with it sometime soon over cocktails and dinner.

Well, before that, maybe you could tell me how your friend here got such an interesting name, Golddigit. Wouldn’t it be easier just to call him Goldfinger?

SusieQ27 Oh, it would be but we aren’t talking about his finger being gold.

No, I have 13 inches of pure gold below my belt. That’s why I always wear very baggy pants, to accommodate my special size. Perhaps you’d like to see it in private right now, Ms. Jane?


rockwriter58 64M
1386 posts
4/13/2006 1:16 pm

Deep Inside Dr. Trench’s Lair


Inside Golddigit’s bedroom....

I thought Golddigit that gold was a soft metal, so is it really what you want south of your border?

Well, it it wasn’t a little flexible, I could never get my pants on, but believe me, having a golden cock has its advantages. Why don’t you lay back and take off your thong to find out? I’ll just take off my pants and show you my true talents. You’ll get a chance to glimpse the eighth wonder of the world For Your Eyes Only.

Very impressive, Goldie. By the feel of it, hefty too. And you keep it nicely polished.

That’s the sheen from years of pussy polishing. Why don’t you give it a little taste? And while you are down there, look at the very tip. Women are very impressed with the shape and glimmer there. Some call it my Goldeneye.

I’m prepared to skip the preliminaries and get right down to it. Here, put it in. Oh, it is quite wide. Push a bit more... yes... oh... it is lubing me up nicely.

Oh, your pussy is gripping me sweetly... just like your reputation Jane Pond.

How did you know...

Just lay back and enjoy it, Jane. While I give you the fucking of your life. One advantage of a metal cock is it never really gets soft. I can go as long as I want. And another advantage of such a soft metal, is it is malleable. So I can adjust the size and shape. Even now, I’ve put a big knot in the middle of it, so your pussy will be hung up on it. Just try, now that I’m balls deep, your pussy won’t be able to let go until that swelling cock knot goes down. You’re trapped with my big cock in you until I’m good and ready to let you go.


Meanwhile....

SusieQ27 Good that we diverted your inconsequential girlfriend, Thunderballs, so we can get down to business. What have you got for me besides your oversexed cock?

dz2502 Oh, I was hoping we came back to your office to do some real business, not undercover business. I have some diamonds that my friends tell me you will find quite interesting.

SusieQ27 As they say, Diamonds Are Forever.

dz2502 Well, I have a shipment, docked right now in the Port of Marseille that you will find quite interesting. Weapons-grade diamonds. You could construct a high-powered laser beam using those... and... oh... what an interesting gun you have there Dr. Trench.

SusieQ27 I know all about you Thunderballs and how you are responsible for the death of my friend Sergio. Next to Golddigit, he had the most gorgeous male organ in the world. Now, wasted. And I know all about your little smuggling enterprise and how you’ve thrown in with the British spy agency. Yes, and I know your girlfriend is none other than 007sexy Jane Pond. Look at that monitor overhead. Look closely. Golddigit, is giving her the shagging of her life. Much better than you I’m afraid. Here, let me adjust the volume so you can hear her moans. You don’t see her struggling to get away do you? Actually, what you don’t know is Golddigit has the ability to fuck her to death. That’s right. He’ll just keep going until she dies. Maybe in a few days. At least she’ll enjoy her untimely end. Not like my friend, Sergio. Now, you are going to take me to the diamonds, or she dies.

dz2502 Alright, you win. What else can I do, but give in?

SusieQ27 Well, you could take off your pants, first. I’d like to see why you have the name Thunderballs.

dz2502 No, let’s just go to Marseille. I’m humilated enough already.

SusieQ27 Off with pants, or I’ll shoot. That’s right. Well, you may not be interested but part of you says otherwise. Let me just slip out of this gold lame miniskirt. And let me ease down on you. Now, you are going to see why I have such a honey trench... and you won’t be going back to Jane so easily afterward... that is... if she survives.

dz2502 God, you are right... it is heavenly!


rockwriter58 64M
1386 posts
4/13/2006 1:17 pm

Marseille & Beyond


SusieQ27 Well, my little sex slave, the diamonds are all you promised. I’m very impressed. Almost as impressive as the 15 times you had me last night. I had no idea Thunderballs referred to your stamina. But I like it. How about a quick go right here on the barge?

dz2502 Yes, Honey, I am your sex zombie forever. Your pussy has hypnotized me.

SusieQ27 And I was hoping my big breasts had done that. Oh well, you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last. Hang on and let’s get this boat rocking!


Meanwhile....

Okay, it is clear now your cock doesn’t get tired. But aren’t you tired of missionary? Can’t you let me get on top?

If you think I’ll slip out when we change positions, you’ve got a lot to learn about vapor lock and how you are sealed around my cock until I’m good and ready to let you go. So, alright, get on top. Just let me turn this way, and roll under.

Well, that’s a bit better. My backside is really sore. But now I’m going to show you my patented spin move.

Spin move?


Our heroine begins spinning like a top on top of Golddigit until she is a blur.

Spin and squeeze. Spin and squeeze.


Amazingly, our heroine spins right off of her tormentor and lands on the floor with her legs shaking.

Aaaghhhhh! It popped off inside you!

I think you’re the one who has a lot to learn, especially about the combination of soft metals and kegel.


Later, outside the casino....

playrigalJane, over here! In the Mercedes. I’m so glad we tracked you down.

Always good to see the CIA on the case, Agent Playful. But it would have been nice if you had found me a bit earlier. My pussy is going to be sore for weeks now.

playrigal Sorry, Jane but we had trouble using our sexual vibrancy tuner to find you. Golddigit’s member must have deadened the signal. Anyway, I’m here to give you a lift to Dr. Know’s castle on the Italian coast. That’s where we believe she has the diamonds and Thunderballs.

Hey, who is that in the backseat?

It’s me babeee, Boston Glowers, here to give you aid and comfort in the fight. I’m sure you could use an extra hand.

Agent Playful, do we really need this guy around. I’m sure we ladies can handle this just fine. Men just get in the way and clutter things up sometimes. Besides, isn’t it a little much having a satirical figure appear in a different satire? And come to think of it, if your character were true to this satire would you actually be male?

Oh, behave 007sexy! Don’t be so selfish. I think you are ruining my groove. Not to mention my mojo.

playrigal Actually, Jane, I was hoping you would drive and use the GPS while I finish giving Boston head in the backseat. Let me just jump back here. Now, watch out Boston, this is a technique I like to call the Moonraker!

The things we do for duty and our girlfriends!


rockwriter58 64M
1386 posts
4/13/2006 1:18 pm

Dr. Know’s Castle


In the courtyard of the castle on the Italian coast...

saddletrampsk That’s it Thunderballs! Keep pushing up. Ooooooh, I do love riding your cock. It seems like you never get soft!

dz2502 And it seems you are nearly as insatiable as your boss!

SusieQ27 Now, #2, what are you doing with my sex zombie? I told you there were limited hours for you to borrow him.

saddletrampsk I just don’t see why you get all the fun. I’d like to try him out in all the rooms of the castle.

SusieQ27 Alright, but finish up soon. We have to prepare for Jane Pond, who inexplicably escaped from Golddigit.


Meanwhile, up on the walls overlooking the courtyard....

playrigal I’ve got her in the scope of my expandable sniper rifle right now. Truly A View to a Kill. Just say the word and I’ll take out Dr. Know’s top assistant so we can rescue Thunderballs.

No, I say I jump down there and give her a karate chop.

Boston, you are just far too excitable for me. Now, hand me that backpack I brought and I’ll show you both how to handle this one. I’ve got some toys inside that should help us.


The team of super spies descends the walls into the courtyard, as #2 continues humping Thunderballs why moaning and writhing, her hands thrown up over her head in ecstasy. Agent Playful promptly snaps a pair of handcuffs around the wrists of #2 and puts her gun to her back.

dz2502 No. Please let me finish with her. I am her sex zombie!

Boston, give Thunderballs that karate chop. We need to knock him out until we can deprogram him. Now, here Agent Playful, lift #2 off Thunderballs and help me insert this 20-inch, two-headed dildo in her. That’s right. Now, let me twist it just right. It has a super-accelerated vibrator inside. That should not only keep her busy, but also her moaning will keep up so the evil Dr. Trench won’t detect we are here.

SusieQ27 Not so fast, Jane Pond! I have a super laser trained on you and your friends that will obliterate you instantly if you don’t do what I say!


Our heroine 007sexy pivots and launches herself at her nemesis like a leopard pouncing. She kicks the laser out of Dr. Trench’s hands. A brief but furious martial arts fight ensues, worthy of any chop-socky movie. But inevitably, Dr. Trench is vanquished, with 007sexy’s boot on her throat.

Quick Agent Playful, grab the other end of that vibrating dildo and insert it into Dr Trench’s trench. And cuff her too. Now, a quick twist and I’ll send it into hyper-speed.

SusieQ27saddletrampsk We’re in heaven! Oooooooooh... this is even better than Thunderballs.

Boston, please carry Thunderballs. Now, let’s hurry and find those diamonds!

playrigal What’s the rush? The bad guys are incapacitated now.

Let’s just say there’s one more surprise in that dildo that R constructed for me. Now, let’s run!


Soon, the gang of spies finds the diamonds in Dr. Trench’s office, and they scale the walls of the castle to escape, just as a huge explosion rocks the castle’s courtyard, setting the entire structure aflame and sending debris flying in all directions.

What I didn’t tell you is that dildo was made of C4, and it was only a matter of time before the intense vibrations would set it off. Of course, the more they twisted and tugged on it, the quicker that would be. But as I always say: Live and Let Die!

You know, I’ve never understood what that means. Hey, maybe I have an idea for a new film!


© ♪rockwriter58♪


007sexy40plus 58F  
7589 posts
4/13/2006 5:40 pm

Rocky you have outdone yourself here. This is some funny stuff. Thanks for including me, along with some very cool bloggers. I loved this. Again, thanks...

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


rockwriter58 replies on 4/17/2006 11:21 am:
You were more than deserving of the lead role! Please take a bow.

Jeepidiot 50M

4/13/2006 6:19 pm

So when is the movie version?


rockwriter58 replies on 4/17/2006 11:21 am:
Perhaps we can get Mel Brooks to do this up right.

rm_BigDnLady 50M/48F
1139 posts
4/15/2006 5:23 pm

That was fantastic!! I loved it! I have been working on a play, but it just won't cum together!! LOL!!! You guys have got me nervous, no way mine will even compare to that!!

Great!!

Lady


rockwriter58 replies on 4/17/2006 11:26 am:
Thanks for the compliment [blog BigDnLady] but I'm sure with your skills it will all fall into place eventually.

warmandsexy52 72M
13158 posts
4/15/2006 5:35 pm

ROLFMAO!!!!!


rockwriter58 replies on 4/17/2006 11:27 am:
Now, that is just the response I was hoping to get. Thanks W&S.

NickRules999 46M
9458 posts
4/16/2006 6:22 pm

I loved it! That was great!

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?


rockwriter58 replies on 4/17/2006 11:28 am:
You were perfect in your supporting role Dark Lord Nick. Please take a bow!

saddletrampsk 61F

4/16/2006 9:59 pm

That was so awesoem Rocky..you have outdone yourself again..


rockwriter58 replies on 4/17/2006 11:29 am:
I'm glad you liked it saddletramp. I hope the role was lusty enough. At least you got to have a sex slave for part of it.

toothysmile 58M
16539 posts
4/17/2006 3:41 am

wow...
very impressive...

and btw... saddle sent me, I do love watching her perform... lol...


rockwriter58 replies on 4/17/2006 11:31 am:
Thanks and welcome to you too toothysmile. Yes, we are ALWAYS impressed with saddletramp.

LustyTaurus 56M
21250 posts
4/17/2006 5:20 am

Nice Rock, Very Nice...BTW, I thought I saw some nipple up there incase you didn't know, w don't need a repeat of the Janet Jackson type superbowl controversy now do we...

lustytaurus


rockwriter58 replies on 4/17/2006 11:35 am:
Oh, I rather like saddletramp's photo. Her performance is certainly one of the highlights.

But you are right. Nipple flashing belongs elsewhere. Perhaps in this blog's first blogplay, The VBC.

MWWwantsmore 58F

4/17/2006 1:30 pm

Very nice, I like the fact that I get to test out all the toys


rockwriter58 replies on 4/24/2006 8:04 am:
I'm glad you approve of your role MWWwantsmore. Not only do you test them, but you invent a few hot items too!

belfastbound 48F

4/18/2006 3:45 pm

LMAO that was hysterical


rockwriter58 replies on 4/24/2006 8:07 am:
Welcome to our humble blog and humble blogplay belfastbound.

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
4/20/2006 9:01 am

Good one Rocky! Well done!

Um, I believe that Jane Pond has something of mine?


rockwriter58 replies on 4/24/2006 8:10 am:
Sorry about that Keith! You don't know how many times I've told her not to take the props home after a performance.

I'm glad you liked it.

rockwriter58 64M
1386 posts
5/6/2006 9:51 pm

Darlin' [blog SusieQ27]... if we ever get around to a sequel... you'll be the first to know!


electriccompany 60M

7/27/2006 6:20 pm

SusieQ27 just stuffed this one in my inbox! (OUCH!! Dammit! That hurt me more than Goldie hurt 007sexy!)

BravO to the international cast and writers!
Standing 'O' for the villainesses. (The naughty girls always make it stand and have a big 'O'!)

Cyber-Sincerely,
International Fill'em Critic, ElectricCompany


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