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Flirting is Hurting
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Flirting is Hurting You may have noticed that I am a flirt. Let’s face it, in this virtual space, it is hard not to flirt. Plenty of folks do it. But when is it too much? Or when can it hurt someone? I know some of the answer to that rhetorical question. There is a woman I care for deeply on this site. But I hurt her. The flirting did it. (The remainder will conclude inside.) (This entry NEVER appeared on the main blogboard due to an afternoon blogjam on March 20, but this author chose not to repost.)  |
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Part II Let’s back up a bit. At one time, I intellectually crashed into someone. I thought she was wonderful. Still do. Although distance separates us, we contemplated more than just intellectual stimulation. But eventually, that temptation was rejected. I can honestly say, she was the closest I have come here to crossing the line. We agreed that we would stay virtual friends. Flirty friends. But nothing more. So when she visits this space, she sees me flirting. Not just with her, but with others. And I think it got under her skin. I didn’t even realize what was wrong until the damage was done. When someone disappears and doesn’t answer, one tends to notice. Yet, we had given each other space and permission not to expect a response to our mailings. So I let time go. Perhaps too long. Weeks passed. So finally, I wrote and I broached the topic of silence. And a steaming reply came back my way. No details. But lots of innuendo about how I seemed to be doing just fine without her. She was hurt and kicking. Me? I was clueless. I had no idea of what I had done. And no answer was forthcoming. I was left to stew. She knows me too well. That was punishment all by itself. Finally, I hit upon the fact that I have a flirty nature and I flirt with many women here, even though I wish I was mainly just flirting with her. Eventually, a reply came. Filled with anger, it burst forth like an infected wound being lanced. I was deflated and depressed by the hurt I had inflicted. What can I do? Stop flirting? Apologize? And if so, how? Knowing she got hurt makes me feel all the worse, especially because I didn’t realize I was hurting her. So I suppose, flirting can be hurting.
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3/20/2006 5:01 pm |
Soooo, let me get this straight...you never actually met each other, you both decided to stay flirty cyber friends, and now she has her panties in a wad because you have other flirty friends? *insert eyeroll here* Rock, honey, you did absolutely nothing wrong, so stop beating yourself over the head for it. If she can't deal with it, it's her problem. She should have been upfront with you way back when it started to bother her, and not hold it in like that and then strike out at you. That's just immature and wrong. Who loves ya baby? Lusty 
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OK, 'splain this to me again. You meet on an site whose sole purpose is for people to meet to have sex. And she gets bent out of shape because you flirt with other women? Oh well. It could be worse. I just sent my ex-girl friend back to therapy with an email. When you get to that level of evil let me know. Then you can start feeling guilty. 
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3/20/2006 5:53 pm |
I agree 100% with Lust..the silent treatment is so junior high..if some one pisses me off they know it..sorry for your grief though..flirting shouldn't hurt especially online..sheesh So how about some cold beer and hot sex baby..
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3/21/2006 5:15 am |
I totally agree with the Goddess, as usual! This woman has no right to get pissed off at you over silly flirtation, or anything else for that matter. You didn't stand before God and say "I do" with her, so no justification is needed. Tell her to stop acting like a silly little school girl and get over herself before she loses the friendship of one of the sweetest, most intelligent guys around! XXOO What!
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Hey wait a minute. You never flirted with me. Now I'm pissed. LOL
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3/21/2006 6:06 pm |
Why make one woman miserable when you can make so many happy? What is flirting? Isn't it just "taking notice of, taking interest in, or recognizing an attraction you have for another of the opposite sex"? Is that really so bad if it makes that person feel "acknowledged" by another human being? That's a basic need that we all have? Cyber-flirting is relatively limited anyway to just a handful of Smileys:    Ya can't do too much harm with just 4 Smileys, Rock!
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Sorry Sweet cheeks for your pain. I love your flirty nature. You and I are friends and that will never changed, so I hope this person does not get upset when you flirt with me or think that I will back off from a friend. I cant see anger in flirting. If this person isn't Mrs. Rockwriter then you have no worries baby. Who is your Caramel Queen Baby? I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"  
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Flirting to one person is a horse of another color to another... is always important to communicate intentions to beloved ones... clarity serves. insecurity can kill and feelings are what they are and more times than not, everyone is exactly where they need to be... you are...a free spirit in so many ways... Just a little food for thought............. If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you... {=}
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