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Update for those of you that are truly bored
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Update for those of you that are truly bored Okay for those of you that have checked in and found nothing posted, I'm afraid that all I have for you is an update of my so-called life and the minutiae that will bore you to tears. There is nothing thought provoking in here and nothing funny, so that show has been interrupted by this ego-service message for the audience that still needs something to read in spite of all the new episodes on TV of their favorite shows. (If you don't have a TV, please feel free to join the 20th century) What have I been up to for the last few months? Work. Apparently the neighbors have decided that they are tired of paying me to hide inside my apartment and keep the blinds closed. It was a sweet gig while it lasted but people have finally discovered the ideal mixture of bleach and candy-necklaces to flush the image of me prancing around with a towel(cape) and tiara without suffering too much long term damage. So I worked this summer as a shipper / receiver at a company where I got to experience the joys of contractors calling me 24 hours before they needed the roof delivered to a job site. When I asked why (like an impudent know it all punk) they didn't give us more notice (because, silly me, I assumed it took some time to assemble a whole house and they would be able to PLAN for the delivery date), I was called many many vile names ... okay only one name (who knew that the only swear that carpenters know is 'cocksucker') which didn't bother me since I told them asking me out on a date wouldn't get them their deliveries any faster. Now as exciting and thrilling as this sounds, after several months of this, I finally gave my notice and left (the only reason I managed to last that long was that I got to spend my Saturdays helping cut up yard waste with a chain-saw). NOTE to you all, I highly recommend cutting up stuff with a chain-saw at least once in your life, seriously, it's scary and you are afraid to look down but like sex with that person at last-call, everyone should experience that scary thrill and moment of panic at least once. Especially when you realize that all your parts managed to survive intact, and that maybe it might be fun to one day try again. I now work week weekends at a bar (not bartending... think of the most menial job there and then find his assistant bitch, that's me). Yes it sucks but surprisingly, the crew at the place I work at is polite and actually know my name. It's this really crazy bizarro world where the folks have this<b> philosophy </font></b>that if we all work together and avoid drama, we can get through the night without killing each other. I'm keeping my mouth shut but lord help them when they enter the real working world. I'm also back in classes. Yes, it's true, I am trying to improve myself. No this is not an attempt to gild a lily, but more like trying to teach a pig to fly (me being the source of bacon - naturally). I have so far learned that a professor who misses 3 out of 6 classes to do "stuff", and incidentally make more in 1 day than I did all summer, is frustrating as hell to learn from because he is just that God-Damn-brilliant. On the vice side, I have a new one that I didn't think would ever happen. I have learned to enjoy cigars (the first one of you who says Monica Lewinsky gets a bitch-clap). Being Canadian, I can legally enjoy Cuban cigars and my current batch is something called "Fonseca". Seriously, even a mini-cigarello leaves my mouth tasting like an ashtray for 3 days but this thing was (besides being insanely smooth and mild), close to heaven, and like a great date, gone the next morning without any reminders except a number of where to get a hold of them next time. The last thing I have learned to do is learned how to lie (and blog) properly about being able to pick-up women at the bar and leave me the next morning. If I keep this up, I will soon have people forgetting that I'm a hunchbacked midget with halitosis, a monobrow, and athlete's foot. Throughout this period I have been enjoying older music I haven't heard in forever, while realizing that I absolutely hate 99% of modern top40 crap. Add in my addiction to Swiss Dark Chocolate, and a chronic aversion to working on my papers, and you could pick me out of a police line-up (another story all together). This blog has been brought to you by me channeling a friend of mine I hope to meet later this year, 200 gr of phenylethylamine (with trace amounts of honey and almond nougat), a paper on immigration policies, a team project on progressive taxation policies, a web cam broadcast, and songs by The Killers, Shakespeare's Sister, Joy Division, an Alex Morph Remix, Skinny Puppy, Usher, Bryan Ferry and some song that sounds like it is referring to Klingons in the lyrics. .C |
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Whew, I thought it was gonna be about computer programming or somesuch. When people say a blog's gonna be boring it usually involves computer programming. Although speaking of that, I found a computer book from 1981 today, and that wasn't boring at all. I am not averse to a cigar or two, if it comes alongside poker. I'm quite partial to the Romeo y Julieta ones, although my bank manager isn't impressed. I still have not yet learned to play poker, but I like to sit there and pretend I know what I'm doing. Always nice to see updates from you.  Do not seek an external refuge, but be a light unto yourself. "Be the change you want to see." HalfNekkid Wednesday Peekaboo
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10/18/2011 6:46 am |
Great Post - nice to see you back and in fine form... thx for the chuckles  "I reject your version of reality & substitute my own"  Offended Yet? Sign Here: [post 2929227] I mean seriously, DO IT!! Have you ever tried Sloggin' it? Blogger Slogger The best of some of the Canucks I love: [blog CanadaWeek]
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