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| Blogs > rm_calmlys > Life Goes On ... |
Episode 43: Call a Cab and Move On
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Episode 43: Call a Cab and Move On As much as this site is about meeting people, it's not always easy and for some it is harder than others. My own perspective has been just to meet people in general and then once I've met them, I can try to see if I connect with them. Other people though seem to have the wish-list<b> philosophy </font></b>where they will not meet anyone unless they meet a pre-determined set of criteria. Great! All the more power to them and I wish you all the best. However, one thing that does annoy me is when people use the criteria approach and whine and complain about how they can't meet anyone. This is usually followed up by an explanation about how wonderful they are. My apologies, but this confuses me a bit so let me try to make sure I understand the issue. 1. You only want to meet people who fit category X,Y and Z. 2. You believe you are so wonderful that unless complete strangers are willing to understand how awesome you are, you feel your brilliance and genius is not being recognized. Here's a little dash of reality: You get what you get. Life is the way it is because it is the way it is and we have only a limited ability to influence to affect our own lives and an even smaller degree of influence on the lives of others. Do the math. Or better yet, here's some math for you, free of charge. The richest man in the US is Bill gates at $57 Billion dollars, but if you add up just other people in the top 400, they are worth a combined $1.5 Trillion or approximately 30 times what he is worth. Can you walk into a room and automatically make everyone think you are a genius? Bill Gates can't guarantee anything like this with 400 people and you think for some reason that you should be able to with the thousands of people in your area who go this site? Given that you are not the richest people in the room, don't have the biggest / tightest body, or are the best looking, you still have the nerve to think you deserve to be put on a pedestal? Forgive me but I think you are expecting a bit more than is reasonable. May I suggest the following: 1. Be realistic: If you have a restricted criteria, be aware that some people are simply more in demand than others, and unless you have made yourself desirable than your competition, you will be stuck being the Emo sitting at home on a Saturday in the dark wondering why no one wants to hang out with you. Unless of course you enjoy finding solitary people blaming the world for making them lonely and think to yourself, "Gee, where have they been all my life?" 2. This isn't a zero sum game. Someone does not have to lose for you to win. Meet people, talk to folks, and network. The more people you know, the more you put yourself out there, the more likely it is that something will come of it. You may meet someone, or someone may see you being nice to other people and be impressed by what they see and mention it someone else. Think about it, who would you believe? Someone telling the world they are humble or a close friend telling you that they were impressed buy how nice you were to everyone? 3. Accept that you can't control other people AND move on. Don't be bitter or resentful or angry. The world does not owe you a hundred dates this year with people lining up to be your next friend with benefits. There will be nights where you meet someone awesome, and your game is off, or you had a bad day, or they have a cold, or any one of a million things no one can control. Life will go on, and in my experience, people who continue to make an effort while remaining positive, tend to do a lot better than those who blame the world for not being a bed of roses. Why did I call this "Call a cab and move on"? A few reasons, but here's two for you: First of all, no one can make you get into a cab, it has to be your decision. Secondly, I'm not paying for your cab. So if you want to get anywhere, you better be willing to pay your own way, and not expect others to do it for you. .C P.S. This was not a rant because at the end of the day, my opinion is that this post could (theoretically) be considered helpful, if sour, advice and will only make it harder for me to meet people because it will generate more competition for me. A Rant, doesn't offer a solution, and I like to think this post offered some possible solutions to those "Absolutely Fantastically Amazing & Awesome" people that are somehow being overlooked by all the small-minded people who can't appreciate them. |
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Always entertaining and well written as usual,but really will many get what you have written.Maybe a few will though and the light bulb will come on ..
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always well spoken and ummm, damn entertaining. 
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