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Another Crass Horoscope, You Crazy Crack Hos
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Another Crass Horoscope, You Crazy Crack Hos I�m finally back from my long holiday travels. I had a great time but spent most of it in a home in the badlands of Colorado, 15 miles to the nearest store and without internet�so needless to say I couldn�t chat, nor check on any of your blogs. I got to visit one of my pretty ladies for a very short while and for the others that we�ve talked about getting together but didn�t, I�m sorry about that. Family and friends had kept me pretty busy. I finally had the chance to answer your comments on the last post so check them out and thank you for leaving them. As I�m still road weary, I�d hope you�d understand that this is an all recycled edition of the crass horoscopes. After all, recycling is good for the environment, right? Even the best rock stars put out the occasional Best Of album�but don�t let that get your panties in a bunch�with some stellar plans in the works, �08 should promise to be a real kick in the pants. Aries March 21-April 20 Your big mouth will get you in trouble again this week when it will be found wrapped around your neighbor's cock. Taurus April 21-May 21 They say the ability to settle our differences without shouting or violence is the mark of a higher intellect; which could explain why you get into so many heated fistfights. Gemini May 22-June 21 As events unfold next weekend, you�ll soon wish your girl scout training included learning how to chew through a ball gag. Cancer June 22-July 23 Its been said that you prefer the company of men but thanks to an inopportune freak out next weekend they certainly won�t prefer the company of you. Leo July 24-August 23 This week marks the third time you�ve had to fake your own death and relocate; a feat you could avoid entirely if only you�d pay for cable. Virgo August 24-September 23 While your belligerent boyfriend may beat you senseless when he drinks, his puppy-eyed apologies afterwards always keeps you coming back for more. Libra September 24-October 23 Surprise and confusion will best describe your situation next month when you become either a financial success or the bad girl of goat porn. Scorpio October 24-November 22 The stars declare that its perfectly normal to wake up groggy with a sore anus on camping excursions. It has to do with the clean air, so keep your goddamned mouth shut and don�t tell anyone about it. Sagittarius November 23-December 21 Even though you�ll ask politely, shame and humiliation will be yours next week when you learn that the you walked into does not offer happy endings. Capricorn December 22- January 20 You'll never again know peace thanks to the allure and powerful seduction of your moose calls. Aquarius January 21- February 19 800 people a year die from autoerotic asphyxiation, or the act of strangling oneself during masturbation. This doesn�t seem so staggering considering how many times you�ve nearly killed yourself during conventional masturbation. Pisces February 20-March 20 Like all Pisces, you are decidedly very patient with others, but if they don�t come up with the 40 large soon, you�re sending Big Luigi out to bust some kneecaps.  |
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see, this one is totally off...all the fights I've ever been in are not fights at all, just an opportunity for me to break their hands with my face.
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_____What are you, some kind of soothsayer? My neighbor would have to pay me an awful lot of money to have my lips wrapped around his cock. I may be easy, but I'm not cheep.
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I do prefer the company of men, but what's a freak out? Ask Wild; I don't even get PMS {although I do know what it means}. As for Leo, I rarely have to pay for cable {he does, here; the place I'm looking at, checking out, has it included  }.I just want to screw your brains out {and other assorted 'things'} on top of a lego bed...now, is that really so 'bad'?! 
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Hmm, so you're saying I'd have better chances with autoerotic asphyxiation than just plain masterbation . . .?? I'll keep that in mind . . . LOL
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im thinking seriously of cutting back on the masturbation...or at least the autoerotic aspect of it...lol She's Dangerous cause she's Honest-(U2)
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Hope you had a good Holiday Season and that they didn't turn you into too much of a redneck out in the sticks  .HHHmmmm haven't been moose hunting for a few years now.Later Atomic
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Leo July 24-August 23 This week marks the third time you’ve had to fake your own death and relocate; a feat you could avoid entirely if only you’d pay for cable. But Atomic, I hate paying for cable. Hugs. BehindMyBlues
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1/2/2008 3:13 pm |
I am living on the edge and will throw caution to the wind and continue my self pleasuring fury. sorry but, excuse me please, while I jump into my mini van to go pick up the kids for scouts and then piano lessons. Will my wilding ever stop?
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skyking412004 sent me your way, and I have to say, as an Aquarius, you are pretty right on target!  
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But I really don't need a freak out for men not to enjoy my company! They run screaming when they see me coming regardless!
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1/3/2008 12:57 pm |
AHA, there may be some voodoo in you after all there, 'AA'... If I reach a certain quota next month I get a huge $100 bonus. Great, & then it gets better when 'Uncle' gets his hands on it, so I will probably take home $59... A financial success, sure!
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Last of a long line of Libras. Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde
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1/7/2008 3:15 am |
All my girl scout training ever taught me was how to sell my cookies...
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1/7/2008 9:44 pm |
But who would want to put a ball gag in this lovely mouth? There are other ways to silence me that are much more enjoyable for the person who has me at their mercy.  The man who ties me up these days would rather I bite his cock, not a ball gag.  Later! {=} ~~"I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence."~~
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