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Blogs > hotdreamer1000 > While I was Dreaming

Real Honesty  

hotdreamer1000 64M
8679 posts
2/12/2013 7:35 am

Last Read:
2/15/2013 4:49 am
Real Honesty

Violette001 made a comment on my post about this site creating chemistry which prompted my response (slightly edited ) as follows:

"Although some people using this site seem to want to create a false "enhanced" impression of themselves, for others it provides a mechanism for honestly displaying aspects of themselves they normally keep at least partially hidden.

When you come across someone who really understands those parts of you it can be an intense thrill."

This is what people are talking about when they say that someone just "gets" them. They find that the freedom they are given to show their inner selves and be appreciated for it is extremely satisfying. Normally you meet those kinds of people once or twice in a lifetime. Here the effect is reproduced, sometimes, by virtue of anonymity, it is a little artificial, other times it can be as real as anything.

I know of course that I am by no means the first or only person to have noticed this. And many people, those who perhaps have learned how to be more open about certain aspects of themselves in real life, may not agree with me.

(As a slight digression, I must say that I am a little wary of some of those kinds of people. It is a rare an wonderful trait to be able to truly be yourself - your whole self - in front of everyone. I think I know a few people who can. And if they manage to do it without adopting an "I'll be how I like and I don't care what anyone else thinks" attitude, then they are usually very special people. But for many, being true to themselves can be an excuse for being selfish.

For myself, I like to aspire to Kipling's suggestion of the amount of value we should put on what others think: "If all men count with you, but none too much." )

But back to the point, here we all are, and most of us, sometimes, share aspects of ourselves on this site which we would otherwise keep hidden. Even my best friends don't quite know Dreamer the way that some of you do. And to those of you who have come to know me by this name, and see the parts which others don't see, I say this - Thank you. Wanting to be understood has been one of the most important driving forces in my life.

This wasn't what I came on to blog about! It has been a hectic few days, but ideas for posts ranging from stupid humour to philosophical discussion of aspects of human sexuality to fantasies of midnight visitors have crossed my mind, without having the time to write about them, including now. And I think I saw a real life red-haired lesbian.

Another time I hope bloggers, love you bye.

hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/13/2013 9:43 am
    Quoting  :
Yes, that was an impressive piece of openess. I think I found that easier when I was younger. I think maybe it gets harder later on, and maybe then easier again, lol.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/13/2013 9:48 am
    Quoting  :
I always like to think "yeah well, I can write about that another time." But sometimes the thought is lost, the inspiration dies away to nothing, and what seemed like a fascinating insight becomes a trivial little idea, not worth writing about.


zandigal 59F
13016 posts
2/13/2013 11:05 am

 God I love your mind! That post made me smile and laugh and giggle and go 'hhmmmm' ...
'specially liked that midnight visitor thought.. yes, lets go with that one, please
Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit
~Rumi

..


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/13/2013 4:19 pm
    Quoting zandigal:
    God I love your mind! That post made me smile and laugh and giggle and go 'hhmmmm' ...
    'specially liked that midnight visitor thought.. yes, lets go with that one, please
I mean to write about the midnight visitor fantasy soon. Sometimes it is You. (Wasn't that the name of one of my old blogs? Yes, it was. Sometimes it is You Oooooooooh that's a hot one, lol. Have you read that one or was it before we knew each other? You should read it again if you haven't before..... I wish I could still write like that. )


Violette001 52F
4619 posts
2/13/2013 8:26 pm
    Quoting  :
No screen between us and the priest in the orthodox church. totally love it! although i haven't been for a while now... i feel it's kinda distant when i can't see the priest.
"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown


Violette001 52F
4619 posts
2/13/2013 8:33 pm

 Glad you turned your response into a whole post! =) I do like the freedom to be honest here... sort of made me feel that this place was somehow safer, because of that! really strange that such a place can offer such a rare kind of sanctuary. and those who take advantage of it, reap valuable benefits.

"Wanting to be understood has been one of the most important driving forces in my life."

oh, what is it about wanting to be understood... and known... ??? for me, i feel like, if i'm fully known... and accepted just as I am, then I'll stop being lonely. i wonder if that's true...
"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/14/2013 5:01 am
    Quoting Violette001:
    Glad you turned your response into a whole post! =) I do like the freedom to be honest here... sort of made me feel that this place was somehow safer, because of that! really strange that such a place can offer such a rare kind of sanctuary. and those who take advantage of it, reap valuable benefits.

    "Wanting to be understood has been one of the most important driving forces in my life."

    oh, what is it about wanting to be understood... and known... ??? for me, i feel like, if i'm fully known... and accepted just as I am, then I'll stop being lonely. i wonder if that's true...
I think it is very likely that if you are fully known and accepted you will feel less lonely. I think everyone feels lonely sometimes, but much less often, and in a much less hopeless way if they know someone out there "gets" them.

The sancuary effect here isn't what I expected when I first started blogging, but you are right - that is a good way of describing it. I like to think of it as the Bizarro World equivalent of the Cheers bar - the place where no one knows your name, lol.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/14/2013 6:28 am
    Quoting  :
Yes, it is a rare and amazing thing


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
2/15/2013 4:49 am
    Quoting  :
Thank you. Yes, well I knew you would of course!


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