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Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
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Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey I've often wondered what my deal is . Yesterday while I was looking at houses (well mostly , I was also 10% looking at my realtor's ass , she's a fine looking woman) I think I figured it out . My deal is an emotional battle with indifference . Such as the other day at work a lady who moved here from Sudan when she was a was talking about the travel ban and how it made her feel and so forth and it was really powerful stuff . And I don't support the travel ban but it's not like I'm going to do anything about it one way the other . Because really I'm indifferent . And I don't like feeling that way but what can you do about it ? I can act like I care but I can't make myself care can I ? You can't make yourself feel something can you ? I mean emotionally . Obviously you can make yourself feel something physically .  I stayed up last night to see time disappear . I did not see Santa , whom I speculate has an off-season gig dispensing and then taking away time . I mean who else can travel the whole world and go into every house unbidden and either leave or take stuff ? Watching time disappear is a curious thing . I've decided that there aren't enough different kinds of alcoholic drinks . We need mixtures to get people excited about getting wasted again . So here are some new cocktails I've come up with . The Really Slippery Nipple - Vodka and baby oil , college will love it ! Hell in a Glass - Rum and hot sauce The 8th Plague - Tequila and pickled locusts Morning Dew - Granola liqueur , grenadine , soda water , rum A while ago I asked why Bloody Mary had a drink named after her , I still don't know but there's a lot more to this Bloody Mary character than I knew . I thought you just said her name 3 times (like Biggie Smalls) and she showed up and killed you but that's not it at all . You and by you I mean women only are supposed to walk backwards up the stairs holding a mirror and a candle and say Bloody Mary three times and then the face of your future husband will appear OR a skull if you're going to die without getting married . Which I think we can all agree is the worst possible fate for a woman . Although none of this explains who Bloody Mary is or why she's interested in showing people and by people I mean women who their future spouse is going to be . Also does it work for lesbians or does it show you husbands only ? Also what are the chance of falling and breaking your neck while walking up the stairs backwards holding a mirror and a candle ? Also if you drink a Bloody Mary you're supposed to drink a White Lady also to counteract the dark magic . A White Lady is a sidecar made with gin in place of brandy . What makes it different from the simple gin sour is the switching of sugar for triple sec . I had a white lady last night if you know what I mean ! Honk honk ! In other news I noticed Affairlook now has live help so I had to check it out . And they give you e-mail with the transcript ! AFamp;F : Hello! How may I help you today? 40: I have been on Affairlook for several years and no one is currently sucking my dick Kevin : Hello 40 nice to meet you Kevin : Welcome to Affairlook I hope you are having amazing and blessed day so far, my name is Kevin and I'll do my best in this interaction in order that our chat can be very helpful for you, and you be completely satisfied with our services , I'll be more than glad to help you today. Kevin : Oh I completely understand you, and did you receive the Emails confirming your order? 40: I did 40: Order #21-xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Kevin : Oh excellent one moment please Kevin : I want let you know that I'm still here to assist you, Sorry for my delay, almost have all the info for you.  Kevin : 40 by any chance are you fat ? 40: I am Kevin : Thank you and did you receive an SMS text? 40: I'm not sure Kevin : are you able to check? Kevin : Please]Click Here to open the page in a new window/tab. Kevin : Oh from this link you will be able to do it 40: Error 404--Not Found Kevin : Please Click Here to open the page in a new window/tab. Kevin : Oh please try with that 40: Error 404--Not Found Kevin : Oh 40 by any chance are you a loser? 40 : I am Kevin : I'll take care of that for you 40: Sounds good Kevin : \ Kevin : How is everything going? 40: What ? Kevin : Oh I completely understand you, no worries at all, please let me know once you be logged 40 : I'm not sure what's going Kevin : Excellent Thank you so much, one moment please Kevin : 40 I'll require a personal info is that ok for you ? 40: yes Kevin : 40 may I know your address please? 40 : REDACTED Kevin : Thank you Kevin : Perfect! Kevin : Can you please provide me your full name 40 : SUPER REDACTED Kevin : Thank you Kevin : Congratulation 40 Kevin : I have submitted successfully the Coupon number for your services Kevin : So you can get the amazing blowjob that you have in mind Kevin : In the following hours you will receive it at your phone number so you can redeem Kevin : I meant, a coupon code will be sent as a text message Kevin : Thank you so much for contacting us today, and I really happy to help you with your request Kevin : Is there anything else that I can help with? I want to be absolutely sure that I have taken care of you today! 40: Thank you , that should be all Kevin : Amazing! Kevin : it is my entire pleasure 40 Kevin : it was a real pleasure could help you and work with you today, you were great, thank you, for being so nice, patience and a really nice person, I'm very grateful with you , I hope you have a great rest of the day and God bless you, Remember you chatted with Kevin , Feel free to close the chat once you are ready and chat with us anytime that you need. Kevin : Please take care and have a Happy Week! I'm still waiting , although I'm not sure what I'm waiting for . I'm getting a coupon code for a blowjob ? Where do I redeem it ? Sounds pretty<b> illegal . </font></b>Officer I didn't pay for a blowjob I got a coupon ! Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Coupon blowjobs are the best! . There's no tipping allowed. . Well, there's YOUR tip, of course. . And you get to give her the shaft, but... Hmm.... Nevermind.
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boy that Kevin sounds like a nice guy but his grammar sucks. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Maybe you better check back with them, they might give you an additional bonus coupon for something else like anal sex..... Your guess whether you give or .....  Vive La Difference
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My thoughts are REDACTED SUPER REDACTED.  
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