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Prepare for a pride obliterating bitch slap
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Prepare for a pride obliterating bitch slap I've long wondered how the lie that women find men with a sense of humor sexy gets perpetuated and I figured it out the other day . We think women like men who are funny because women laugh at everything a handsome man says . It's pretty gross . The first person who says "get some sun this weekend ?" to me Monday morning at working is going to get slapped so hard the hydrostatic shock is going to blow their dick off . I say the first person because it WILL happen . And I say dick because it WILL be a dude . I look like a friggin' idiot . Outdoors is the worst . My main takeaway from today's events is that I would be a terrible little league coach because I would want to win the game the way to win the game at this level is to not play the "right" way . Such as , you're better of not trying to get the out at first because the throw to first results in an error 98% of the time which results in the runner advancing to second or third (or home) whereas if you just hold the ball at second you're better off . But you know then you don't learn how to make the throw to first which is really the point . Some of the parents were getting pissed because when the other team was up by 20 runs in the second inning they started leaving the bases early to get out intentionally so the game would get over faster . Which just goes to show you can't please anyone . Did they want the other team to get up 100 runs ? I saw an article about how the "tinder culture" it running retail and I didn't read it but I really wish that I had because how could that be ? What does tinder have to do with retail ? Is the idea that people are so busy getting chlamydia they don't have time to shop ? Now I'll never get to know . Some dude posted one of the those "I'm leaving Affairlook forever" posts that's so popular and his last comment was "I'm joining tinder !" which I plan to adopt as the tagline to all my arguments . "Bill I'm telling you we need to compound these figures quarterly ! I'm joining tinder !" Everyone in the world told me the show Party Down was great and it had a lot of comedy people I like so I watched it and it sucked . But I stumbled on an episode the other day that made the think maybe I just didn't give it enough of a chance . But that's no the point , this episode to me clearly established what a nerd is - I feel that term gets thrown around falsely a lot . This dude was talking to this hot babe and she said she was into sci-fi so they were talking about that . Dude was clearly on his way to getting laid . But he asked her what her favorite sci-fi was and she said that she really loves anything with dragons and he went off her because dragons are fantasy and fantasy is shit . That is what a nerd does . He wants to bang the hot chick , he wants it more than anything because he never gets to bang - especially not hot chicks - but he can NOT let someone think that fantasy is sci-fi . If you're buying a 1999 Pontiac Gran Prix does it really matter that the dude at the car lot rolled back the odometer ? I know that's technically fraud but that's such a low rent fraud I'm not even sure it should be illegal . I'd say that's akin to buying an opened condom and then complaining that there's not as much lube left on it as you were promised . You knew what you were getting one way or the other . The other day a dude asked me how many screwdrivers I owned and I said five and he looked all smug and said that he had at least a dozen . If this had been a bit he was doing it would have been funny . But it wasn't . He 100% equates man-ness with screwdriver ownership . So I bought a dozen screwdriver sets and banged his wife .  Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I like the smart guys. Smart guys are witty, have conversation skills, and usually have a decent job. As for the handsome guys, I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with one. It wouldn't be them, it would be me. It would bother me to see women coming on to them all the time and I would always feel like he was unfaithful, even if he wasn't. Yah, I know I have issues.
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OH NO! I have at least a dozen screw drivers! Am I really a man? *runs to throw some away* and in support of the nerdy girl and her dragon .... SpaceX Dragon capsule. [image] Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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One of the people who tried to steal Abraham Lincoln's corpse was a counterfeiter. He counterfeited nickels. Even in 1865 what would be the point. It would be like counterfeiting one dollar bills now. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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