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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Lamentations of a middle class white man
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Lamentations of a middle class white man I know that me complaining about anything is highly offensive to 97.3% of the world's population but if you think that's going to stop me you don't know much about middle class white dudes . I was going to list out all the unexpected expenses that have cropped up for me lately but that sounds super boring and I like my blog to just be regular boring . Point is if you wanted to pay me 10,000 American dollars to have sex with you that would really help me out . For an extra two grand I’ll keep my shirt on so you don’t have to look at my pendulous man tits swinging around like metronomes . FAQ Couldn’t we just do it doggy style and I’ll keep my two grand ? No , missionary only so I can stare into your eyes angrily . How many orgasms will I have ? As many as you want , not my problem , anywhere from zero to a million I assume . Will you do freaky stuff ? No , vanilla only . This seems like a rip-off . That’s not a question . Don’t think about what you’re getting , think of it as a charitable contribution to the less fortunate (but still pretty fortunate) . You can write it off on your taxes . I don’t want to have sex with you can I just give you the money ? No , I don’t want charity . I want to sell my body out on the streets and in the back alleys for cold hard cash . Or rock cocaine that can be traded for cold hard cash . The way pimps used to sell ladies back in the good old days . These days other pimps always be gunnin’ for you . The streets ain’t safe no more – these streets that we MADE . Now the good times are gone . Lil’ Kevin dropped a dime on you and you had to shank his punk-ass . But the cops know it was you so now it’s time to save those rainy-day stacks , take that young trick Lily off the streets and start over on a farm upstate – outta the mean pimpin’ streets . Pull up stakes , no more pimpin’ . Ah shit , I been shot ! By a crooked cop just as I was about to give up the pimpin’ game ! Don’t tell my momma , don’t tell her how I went out . Sometimes people talk about pimping blogs and one time I responded with something along the lines of “Don’t you hate it when you blog comes in crying trying to shortchange you and you have to tell it not to mess with you again of you’ll mess up that pretty face it has ?” Which isn’t cool really , I shouldn’t make light of abuse of sex workers . Today a dude on probation for trying to kill his wife said he was going to beat my head in with a baseball bat . Which seems redundant but I guess those things they use in cricket are also called bats . Or are they ? Yeah , they are . And technically I suppose there are also wiffleball bats but it doesn’t make a ton of sense to threaten someone with one of those . You know that B-Boys lyric “The sheriff’s after me for what I did to his , I did it like this , I did it like that , I did it with a wiffleball bat” ? That’s messed up . Plus there’s the animal bat , is there any word in the dumb language that isn’t a filthy homonym ? The point is when you threaten someone I think you can just say bat and everyone knows that you mean . Although if you had trained bats that attacked people that displeased you that would be pretty cool . Remember that crow story I told that no one cared about ? Today I saw one crow hold down the button on a drinking fountain while another drank . And then they switched . Again I knew crows were smart but I didn’t know they helped each other out like that . You know what I’m sick of , non-answers . If you’re not interested just tell me to fuck the fuck right off . Vague responses just make me ask you more questions . It not rude to save someone from wasting their time . Now the dumb wrestling stuff . CM Punk was one of my favorite wrestlers . He quit the biz because WWE treated him like all corporations treat their employees . This made a lot of people very upset but I had no issue with it . I was bummed that I didn’t get to see him wrestle anymore and I think it’s strange when someone sells out and then complains about the choice that they made but I harbored no ill will about it . At least I thought I didn’t . This weekend CMP made his UFS debut and I’m told lost badly . And when I heard this I thought “Good , that’s what he gets” . Why would I think that if there’s wasn’t some resentment there ? I mean sure there’s that ugly part of me that’s happy when anyone fails but this was more than that . I thought he’d be kind of whiny about it too , but he’s taking his<b> humiliation </font></b>with loads of class – like topless Helen Mirren class . And he’s saying he’s not going to give up on his dream . Granted a cynic might point that that most of us will be willing to get the shit kicked out of us for 90 seconds for half a MILLION dollars , I mean most us do if for free . A lot of people have this issue with the WWE . And it makes sense , people who get into wrestling (the ones who are good at it anyway) get into it in part because they don’t want a 40 hours a week corporate job . But they do all want to make it to the WWE , which is a corporate gig . So you struggle and strive and bust your ass to get there and then it’s exactly what you don’t want – except for the money . I’m not sure why this keeps happened again and again but people never seem to be ready for the fact that they want to be a wrestler in a non-wrestling company . Naturally this causes issues . So after a X amount of fun and financially worthless years that it took you to get to the WWE you get to make the choice that all us normal folks make every day . Smile and eat all the bossman’s shit and cash your check and have a comfortable life or quit and face an uncertain future . Here’s a fun fact that I may have already mentioned . Hulk Hogan was the big name back in the 80’s but no one ever mentions him as their inspiration for getting into the biz , a lot of people talk about Roddy Piper instead . The Rock and Steve Austin were the big stars in the 90’s and similarly rarely does anyone mention them as their reason for giving it a go in the world of wrestling , but many do name Eddie Guerrero . I wonder who the next generation will be inspired by .  In conclusion fuckity fuck fuck fuck . That about sums it up right now . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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$10,000? Do you take Green Stamps? Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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New FAQ: Doggie style... How long can you go? And if it's not fresh, is it free?
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Maybe you should just develop a male escort service - the non-sex kind. You know, where you escort women who don't have a date to social occasions, go on cruises with them, etc. Knowing how much you love travel, that way you'd actually be working for your $10K, bwahahahaha.   
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You mean some woman actually want money for sex? When did this trend start? lol 🏈 It's football season!!! 🏈
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