Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
FWBs are easy to find
|
FWBs are easy to find You just have to change your mindset so FWB means fat white butt . Here is where I would put a picture of my butt but its hard to take a good picture of your own ass . Recently several highly respected and greatly admired blog people have made mention of the fact that they joined Affairlook with the intention of finding a FWB and thought that it would be "easy" and that it turned out not to be easy at all , etc. etc. disillusionment followed . Normally my shtick is mocking and abusing my fellow bloggers but since these are the cream of the crop , the truly well regarded bloggers who are doing this instead of the normal soup cans I wail on mercilessly instead here are my thoughts on the so called Friend With Benefits phenomena , if it can so be called .  First of all I hate the term . It makes it sound like friendship has no benefits which clearly it does . Friend do things together , friends sing together , friends laugh together , friends make graphs together, friends help you when you're in danger , friends are people who are not strangers , friends help you shift into a new place , tell you if you've got food on you're face and unlike girlfriends/boyfriends they don't care if you have more than one . And even beyond that , reaping benefits isn't what friendship is about - that's called being a manipulative jag . But I suppose Friend With Benefit sounds better than Friend with Buttfucking . Or does it ? Yeah , I suppose it does . I can understand why a lady might think that finding a FWB would be easy - after all that's what men want right ? Just hardcore fucking on tap without any of that horrible relationship stuff ? Right ? Men are animals , so finding a FWB should be a piece of cake . And yet it is not . And why ? Because it is all lies . You see dudes in relationships ALL the time , and yet you can't find a FWB - what gives ? What gives is that sex is not enough . Think about it - right now if your theoretical FWB called you up and said "hey let us go to pound town" would you go through all the trouble to getting up and taking a shower and getting dressed and driving to wherever etc. etc. or would you be like "nah" and continue watching Portlandia on Netflix and eating kettle corn ? Exactly . And I know what you're saying "But 40 if we were really FRIENDS we'd be watching Netflix and eating kettle corn together and we could just bang quick right there" . Would you ? I doubt it . How often do you get together with your friends and "just hang" ? Once in a blue moon maybe . The point is this - maintaining a FWB relationship still takes effort , and for most people its not worth doing . Because here's the dirty secret no one wants to admit - sex is fine , but its not all that . Specifically its not worth maintaining a friendship for . Consider this , if your boyfriend/girlfriend calls you up and says "hey lets go to the thimble museum in Rockport" you may or may not agree to it because being in a relationship is worth doing things you don't want to really do . But if your FWB calls up with the same request you snort and say "no thanks pal" because why bother ? "But 40 , what about NSA sex ?" All sex is NSA sex because the NSA is monitoring us all and watching - that's what that means right ? Whatever label you want to put in it what you're really saying is "I want to get off with the minimum amount of effort" and like anything it doesn't usually work that that . If you want something you have to suffer for it . "But 40 , I can go out and get laid anytime I want , doesn't that expose a flaw in your logic ?" Haha , not in the least - it proves my point . If you just hang the pussy out there for anyone to terrorize someone will take the bait because there's no effort on their part . But if you want to hook up with that same dude now they're stuff involved . Its not effortless anymore . There's two ways this works - either no effort for a small benefit (sex) or a bunch of effort for a bunch of benefits (relationship) anything in between is a long shot . "But 40 , I have a FWB !" Cool , congratulations . You're an anomaly , and not just because of your bifurcated uvula . Also I would like to state for the record that I am not saying FWB isn't a thing , just that you're probably not going to find one because its like finding a nugget of gold in your laundry - its not literally impossible , but if it does happen you'll be saying to yourself "what the fuckhell ?" Also do you even really want a FWB ? Or do you really just want a super awesome relationship ? Because the latter is actually easier to find , that's the ironic part .  I mean if the dude from N'Sync and the chick from That 70's Show nor the chick from Twister 3 and the dude from that 70's Show can make it work what are the chances you can ? Are you saying you're better than celebrities ? Of course you're not . And the last thing I have to say on this topic is that the internet actually DOES make it easier to find a FWB , its just that the odds are still so low it don't even matter . Affairlook probably increases your chance of finding a FWB from a trillion to one to a billion to one - that's a factor of thousand ! That's spectacular ! It just doesn't matter . Like that time you scored 50 points in your high school basketball game but your team lost by 30 . And then after the game I went down on your and it was all cool until I licked your asshole a little and then you got weirded out and drank too much and threw up . In other news the Lesbionic Woman and I were hanging out the other day watching the TV and I was grabbing a drink when the dude on said TV said something and she burst our laughing - like doubled over almost crying laughing . And I says to her I says "I didn't catch that , what did he say ?" and she says to me she says "I don't know , I didn't hear it either" . So I asked her why she was laughing and she just shrugged and looked embarrassed . People talk a lot about "dealbreakers" and they're mostly stupid things I don't think people should care about , but the reason I will die alone and unloved is because my dealbreakers was even weirder and stupider . Such as if this was a woman I was dating I would have broken up with her immediately . She was laughing at nothing ! It drives me nuts when people just hear the cadence of a joke , don't get the words at all and just laugh as part of some twisted Pavlovian reaction . I get it , you want to fit it , but come on lady are you a robot ? And you know the worst part ? I do it myself sometimes . Someone will say something , I don't hear it but its clearly a joke so I laugh politely . Makes me want to punch myself in the junk . So to distract me from that she says "Why do guys like cumming in women's mouths so much ?" and I tell her "because it feels better" and then she asks why men like blowjobs so much in the first place and I tell her "because it feels better" and she says that she feels the pussy should feel better than the mouth because the pussy is where the penis is supposed to go , that's what nature intended . Which is the worst agreement ever . What nature wants is the worst . Would you rather eat a wild potato with grubs in it or big fat chewy chocolate chip cookies ? Would you rather be sun and windburned and chapped all the time or wear flared high jeans , a contemporary collared blouse in mustard , a black coral pendant , Giuseppe Zanotti Women's RS6096 Fashion Sneaker with a Judith Leiber Nabila Crocodile Exotic Shoulder Bag ? Would you rather sleep on the ground in the stinkin' heat with your own hair as a pillow or sleep in a King Simmons Beautyrest Black Tatiana Ultimate Plush Pillow Top Mattress with MALOUF Italian 400 Thread Count Cotton Percale Authentic Egyptian Cotton Sheets in a climate controlled room ? Would you rather entertain yourself by staring into a fire for 9 hours or fly to New York City , watch Hamilton , eat at Masa and then make sweet-sweet love to Denzel Washington . Would you rather be eaten by a lion or read this blog ? That last one is a toss up but you get my drift . The important takeaway from all this is that FWB now means Fat White Butt . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
That means I have a FWB! Woohoo! I basically agree with your diatribe. When first I joined the site I had decided I wasn't ready for an awesome committed relationship yet (still licking my wounds from a breakup) and in addition, I was fearsomely horny. As luck would have it, the second person I met here was actually a fairly decent guy. Thing is, he wasn't really a "friend", we didn't really "hang out", and after a while I decided a 40 minute drive to his house and having to listen to his bragging about his feats of athletic endurance wasn't worth sex.   
| |||
|
I'm also a FWB ... which I have NO trouble taking pictures of so lame excuse on your part. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
| |||
|
Actually would you fuck any of your friends or would you fuck a stranger? Theoretically it should be easier to turn a friend into a FWB, than to turn a stranger into an FWB. You have that emotional investment in your friends. You risk that when you change the relationship, or so I've been told by people that turned me down. Fat white butt, I can deal with that. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
|
Become a member to create a blog
