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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
I think the butt plug I ordered is too big
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I think the butt plug I ordered is too big I haven't taken it out of the box yet , but oh man . . .  Gees 40 a sight gag really ? Can you get any lower ? Yes , a sight gag with a blurry picture . I wonder how many watchers I'd lose if I posted a picture of a huge butt plug sticking out my hairy ass . I guess I only really have 5 watchers (you know how Affairlook likes to make up numbers) and two of them I don't think would care . They wouldn't want to see it , but they wouldn't bail . So three probably . I wonder what that converts into in Affairlook numbers . Fifty or sixty probably . Well , lets find out . . . Oh snap , another sight gag ! This blog is going all (insert name of that one sitcom that started off great and then slowly became horrible AKA all of them) on us ! Remember that time I posted a picture of my junk ? What was that about ? I mean can you even ? I think Intenda asked me to do that , or maybe Pinkxxxkisses . Remember them ? I do . I wonder what happened to them . Did they realize the foolishness of blogging ? Did they die ? Its impossible to say . I hope they didn't die . One time Intenda sent me a couple videos of her doing stuff . You know the kind I mean . I wonder how many blogfriends I've had come and go . A few . Do you think people in Innsmouth are really into oral ? Do people in Portsmouth really fortified wine ? Do people in Plymouth have wooden lips ? I don't even want to know what people in Dartmouth are into . Same with Burnmouth . Cockermouth I wouldn't mind hearing a little more about . Egh ,puns , lets go back to the sight gags ! Speaking of terrible comedy as you all know my Chinese New Year's resolution was to be less of a grumpy douche at work so I've been going to some of the stupid dumb "team building" meetings they have all the time to help make sure no work ever gets done . So the stupid dumb dude who was in charge of the last one said he wanted to be "funny" so he kept coming over and asking me about bits - I guess because I pretend to be a comedy aficionado . Anyway after the 7th or 8th time he asked me about something I said to him I says "Do you want me to help you with this meeting ?" and he says "yes" . So we work out a dumb stupid comedy routine and people love it , they laugh so hard their nips fall off . And I am filled with shame as a fake comedy connoisseur (BTW great name for a band Fake Comedy Connoisseur) but I realized something . Comedy comedy is funny because it catches you by surprise , because it has truth . Corporate comedy is the exact opposite - it works when it is super obvious and mega phony . I wonder why that is . That reminds me (speaking of work) yesterday Miss Boob Shirt was a level below me when I was going up the stairs . I saw everything . Also there was a chick who's skirt was totally ripped . Like totally . She had on some really nice drawers . It was a good day . Pervertwise . Speaking of stupid work events , as I mentioned a while back everyone had a huge hard on to get me to go to the psychic fair because it would be "hilarious" . I finally consented and we went the other night . I'm not sure what they expected I was going to do that would be so funny . I don't believe in psychics or crystals or whatever but I'm not a lunatic - its not like I was ever going to start knocking all the booths over , screaming "its all fake !" and pissing all over the place . Mostly I just asked people about ghouls because I am genuine curious if they're a separate species or just human cannibals that suffer from a curse . No one there knew . One lady heard me telling a psychic that I had seen a ghoul in Iraq when I was in the service and he goes "you were never in the service !" and I said "Its okay , lying to psychic's doesn't count" . I guess that's kind of funny . Anyway , talking about ghouls made me realize that most (probably all) people that think they've seen an alien actually stumbled on a ghoul . Grey skin , spindly limbs , no clothes , and they don't have big eyes but they do have deeply recessed eyes so it probably seems like they do in the dark when you only see them for a second . I could definitely see it . The Office of Naval Intelligence became aware of ghouls during World War 2 , here are some excerpts from their threat assessment which was declassified in 2007 ; "For all their horrifying habits and strange abilities , the creatures known colloquially as ghouls are perhaps the least alien of the cataloged and recognized NREs . They could also be the youngest . There is no archeological or paleontological evidence of ghouls until at least the Holocene . Although their general absence from the fossil records cannot be taken as conclusive since they consume their own dead . The prevailing theory among xenobiologists is that ghouls are , in fact , a symbiosis between a human and an aggressive viral or prion-based infection ." Ghouls aren't really dangerous , they're scavengers - although in period (like war or epidemic) where lots of people are dying they so sometimes go bonkers and attack people - but the US government has a shoot-on-site rule of engagement for them because of their hyperstatial abilities . They can get into any secure site in the country so they're a threat . Did I already talk about Catherine Barton ? I feel like I did . She's Isaac's Newton's niece . In the book I was reading about Newton all the dudes that came to talk to him instead got distracted by Barton . I guess she was crazy bangable . But it was the 1700s right ? So just the fact that she was showing some cleavage probably made dudes lose their minds . Back in those days a proper gentlemen never really saw any part of a lady right ? I'm pretty sure they had sex with their wives without ever seeing anything really . A little top boob probably blew their minds . What I'm saying is she was hot back the , but she's probably like a modern day 4 . That would be one good thing about time travel , if you went back in time you'd be a pretty hot number . "She has all her teeth ! My god I am so horny !" I guess that's it . Sorry for telling a bunch of psychics I was in the army when I wasn't so close to Memorial Day . Perhaps I will be eaten by a ghoul and it will all even out . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I guess I wouldn't even be hot in medieval times, now that I'm missing a tooth  At least it's a back one where it doesn't show.Signed, one of your two steadfast blogfriends   
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So, if Smarty is 1 of 2, am I the other? Or have you misjudged me and put me in the 1 of 3 category. And if you misjudged me then you would really only have 2 that would bail. (I'm good at this math stuff) Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Well I'm just a figment of your imagination. I pop in and out just like a ghoul. I have pale pasty skin since I'm from Iowa and I work nights. NO BUTT PLUG IS TOO BIG, you just have to find a big enough ass. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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